


Falling For Me Won't Be A Mistake

by Rearviewdreamer



Series: Falling for me won't be a mistake [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Angst, Bottom Harry, Cesarean Section, Falling In Love, Fluff, M/M, Mpreg, Pining, Surgeon Harry, Top Louis, Travel, Tropical Holiday, honestly Louis is everything, safe sex and unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 10:26:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 58,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10695111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rearviewdreamer/pseuds/Rearviewdreamer
Summary: Harry is married to his job and so overworked that he doesn't know how to stop. All it takes is a forced Hawaiian get-a-away, the warm tropical breeze of the island, and the most beautiful, elusive man he's ever seen to make him remember what living is like outside of work. Well, that, and the little souvenir he accidentally takes home with him.





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Invictus36](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Invictus36/gifts).



> So, this is an extremely indulgent fic for something I didn't even know I needed and loved. Thank you so much to LolaTommo for requesting this because I would've gone forever WITHOUT writing Mpreg Harry and that is simply unacceptable. I was terrified to try this but I'm so glad that I did <3
> 
> Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
>  
> 
> Request prompt below aka ***Spoilers***
> 
>  
> 
> 'So Harry and Louis meet while on vacation like maybe an island so maybe there are fun things they can do together. Well they obviously have sex and then they don't plan on doing anything beyond this vacation, you know? But then Harry gets pregnant and OMG he's freaking out bc only one person can be the father but he doesn't know anything about him. How is he gonna find Louis in time before he has the baby!! And then imagine they live in the same city omgggg then they could be together and no one would have to move.'
> 
> :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I also feel a weird obligation to say that safe sex is the best sex. Even if you do meet a charmingly handsome and adorable man on a beach somewhere in Hawaii. Be safe ;)

_“_ Dr. Styles. _What_ are you doing back in here?”

Harry winces at the sound of his sister’s voice, making the two little girls he’s sharing the big seahorse beanbag chair with giggle. They pop their heads up over it to look at the door when Harry closes his eyes and pretends he didn’t hear her.

“She found you,” Carly whispers.

“I know,” Harry sighs.

“She always does. This is the first place she looks. You need a better hiding place,” says the wise and brilliant Abigail. Harry is aware of all of those things but that’s the problem when you work in the same building as your big sister. It’s just like when they were kids and she’d chase him through the house. There’s no place secret enough or good enough to hide in; she’s just going to find him anyway.

“She’s still standing there with her arms crossed isn’t she?” he mutters.

Harry winces again when his sister answers his question before his patients can.

“ _She_ has ears and can hear you just fine. And _yes,_ I’m still standing here and I’m going to come drag you out of this playroom if you don’t get off that seahorse.” She addresses the girls once she’s done threatening him, saying hello to them in a much sweeter voice. Harry’s kind of jealous.

He sighs dramatically, stealing one more glance at the giant fish tank that makes up the entire left side of the playroom before sitting up to meet his doom.

“Well, ladies, it’s been fun, but I think I have to go.”

“Do you _really_ have to?” Carly asks.

Harry glances over at his sister, knowing she’ll make good on that promise to drag his arse out of here if he doesn’t leave soon.

“I do,” Harry affirms, “But I’ll be back to visit later. I’ve got to come do rounds in a bit so I’ll see you both then.”

They both make faces like him coming to do evening rounds is a lot less fun than lying here coloring and trying to count all of the fish in tank that look like Dory. Harry agrees completely.

“Maybe I can talk to someone about letting everybody watch Dory after dinner?” he says hopefully and loudly, raising his eyebrows over at Mrs. Andrews, the playroom supervisor, in a way that conveys that a film about talking sea creatures needs to be played in this children’s ward tonight or else he’ll have two little girls calling for his head.

Mrs. Andrews rolls her eyes at him when some of the other children in the room hear his proposal and cheer, giving her no choice but to say yes. He’ll have to remember to thank her later.

Carly turns to him with a bright, appreciative smile. “Will you watch too, Dr. Harry?”

“ _Dory_? Of course I am,” Harry scoffs. “I wouldn’t miss her for the world.”

Realistically, he’ll probably only get to watch about five minutes of the movie, but him showing up for a little bit is better than him not showing up at all. The girls are much happier with this new compromise though when Harry has to leave them to join his sister. She looks cross on the surface, but underneath it she mostly just looks annoyed and concerned on his behalf.

“You’re supposed to be resting,” she tells him, her nurses badge and keycard clapping together as she holds the door open for him.

“I was,” Harry tries only for Gemma to fix him with a stern look. He follows her down the corridor when the sternness dissipates and she rolls her eyes at him instead. Harry focuses his tired green ones on the glittery rainbow beneath his feet leading them away from the children’s ward.

“Haz, you were supposed to go home and get some sleep not sneak down here to count Dories.”

“Okay, I didn’t _sneak_. I was on my way down stairs but then I remembered I said I’d come visit the girls today so I went to say hi for just a second and-”

“And ended up staying there instead of getting the rest you need and now it’s pointless for you to go home because you’d just have to turn right back around to come do your evening rounds,” she says in one breath.

They stop walking when they reach his office at the end of the pediatric surgical unit. She shakes her head at the floor that’s stark white now that they’re back on the serious side of the hospital.

“Harry, you worked a double last night and went home for about three hours before you came right back.”

“I know,” Harry sighs, now having heard this speech from her and everyone else so many times that he knows it by heart.

“No, you don’t,” she snaps. “You can’t keep going like this, Haz. You work more than any other surgeon in this hospital and the health of everybody you treat depends on how well you treat yourself.”

“I know,” Harry says again, actually _agreeing_ with her, but she still snaps back at him.

“ _No_ , you don’t know, Haz. And if you think I’m going to just stand by and let you- ‘ _Nurse Horan, to the women’s ward with Dr. Teasdale_. _Nurse Horan, to the women’s ward with Dr. Teasdale’._ ”

Harry grins at his sister when her rant gets cut off half-way through and she shoots a glare up at the pa speaker above their heads.

“Well, sis, it sounds like there’s some pregnant ladies upstairs who need you. Love ya. Bye.” Harry grunts when Gemma shoves him hard in the chest for being a shit.

“This isn’t over,” she says as she heads to her rightful floor in the hospital instead of trespassing on his. “And go home tonight,” she shouts over her shoulder. “I’m coming back down here after your rounds and I better not find you in this building.”

She disappears into the lifts near his office door and Harry lets out weary sigh of his own because she and everyone else is always on him about how many hours he spends here. Admittedly, he is a little tired, but not so tired that he’s putting his patients’ lives in danger. It’s not like he crashed on his desk in the middle of prepping for an operation or something. He was just hanging out looking at fish. To him that’s just as Zen and relaxing as a power nap, though apparently not many other people agree.

Harry should go into his office to finish up the work he still has left to do, or at the very least he should stretch out on the sofa for a few minutes. Both options seem a little pointless considering he has rounds in less than half an hour, but he’s got an errand to run. That should kill some time, so he heads for the lifts to go do that instead.

There aren’t many people roaming around the corridors of the sixth floor. There never are considering most of the people who work here stay locked up in their labs all day. His best friend is one of those brilliant people. Harry spots him through the glass door of his office, bent over his laptop and a culture sample of something that Harry would probably prefer to _not_ know the details about. He looks up when Harry knocks twice against the glass and then pulls open the door marked _Niall J. Horan_ , _Lead Technologist and Department Supervisor_. 

“Your sister came through here a little while ago,” Niall says in greeting. “She was looking for you and she was not happy.”

“Yeah, I know. She found me,” Harry grumbles as he pulls out the chair under Niall’s microscope workstation and takes a seat without invitation. “Honestly, Niall, I don’t know how you live with her sometimes. I mean, I had to do it for half of my life but that was mandatory. You _chose_ this.”

“I love her so it was an easy choice to make,” Niall explains, “And you’re a hardheaded little shit which is why she’s always on you. I listen and I do what she tells me to therefore she leaves me be.”

“Ugh. Is that what marriage really boils down to? Is this the life I’m destined to live?”

Niall scoffs. “You won’t live much longer if Gemma keeps coming after you _and_ if you don’t start getting some fucking sleep, Haz. You look like shit.”

“Gemma and I share the same face,” he mutters under his breath. Niall raises an eyebrow in warning so Harry takes it back sensing he isn’t in the joking mood. “I’m going to go home soon. Relax,” Harry says. “I just came by to check on Cody’s lab results. I want something new to tell his parents on my rounds. I want it to be something _good_ for a change.”

Lately all he’s been able to tell them is bad news paired with a bunch of theoretical situations that can all be forgotten if his results show that this tumor is indeed benign.

“I just sent a tech to pediatrics with the results; benign,” Niall tells him, making Harry breathe a lot easier because if the tumor isn’t cancerous then the only thing left to do is remove it.

“That is _exactly_ what I wanted to hear you say, Ni. This is fantastic.” Harry can’t wait to let Cody’s parents know. They’ve been worried sick.

“You’re welcome. I’m glad I could brighten your day,” his best friend says sincerely. “Now, do you know the good news that _I_ want to hear?” he asks, though he doesn’t give Harry a chance to answer. “That you’ll take your stubborn arse home so I don’t have to worry about you and Gemma doesn’t have to spend all of tonight venting about you because she’s worried too. It’s home date night.”

Harry makes a face thinking about what all that entails.

“You could’ve just stopped at the part where you’re both worried about me,” he grimaces.

“Your sister and I have been happily married for almost two years. Besides working here all day and then sleeping at night like _normal_ people,” he raises his eyebrows at Harry, “What the hell do you think the two of us do at home?”

“I don’t know,” Harry shrugs. “Watch tv or like, color?” He’s been trying with all his might to not think about what Niall and Gemma do for the past three and a half years.

“No. That’s what _you_ do in the playroom when you’re supposed to be at home resting,” he snaps sounding just like Gemma when she yelled at him earlier. Harry hates when they do matchy couple shit without even knowing it. It’s just weird.

“Alright,” Harry forfeits. “I can see I’m not wanted here so I’ll just head back to my own office where it isn’t hostile.”

“For now,” Niall mumbles. “Let Gemma find you still in there after she told you to leave. My office is going to feel positively cuddly.”

By the time Harry leaves with his good news it’s almost time for his rounds so he decides to start early. He goes over all the information and charts for his patients which includes the ones who have already been through a surgical procedure and are now in recovery like Carly and Abigail, and the ones who are still quite ill. He sees all of them including their parents who come to the hospital as often as possible and sleep in their child’s room more nights than not since visiting hours in the children’s ward are more lenient.

His patients are happy to see him, though nothing beats seeing Cody and his parents. He gets to calm their fears by telling them that Cody’s tumor will be removed as soon as possible and that they don’t even have to start any of the scary conversations that cancerous tumors require. He’s never seen two people look and sound more relieved.

He enters his office after he’s done and immediately sits down to start more in-depth readings of the procedural diaries of other Laparoscopic Adrenalectomy operations now that he’s going to be performing one at the end of the week. It’s a surgery that’s most commonly performed on adults. Children are a lot smaller and unfortunately, so are their organs. He’s going to have to remove a small benign tumor from an eight-year-old’s adrenal gland, so he wants to make sure he’s prepared. Over-prepared, really.

It’s half past ten when Harry rubs at his eyes and realizes he’s been sitting in his office chair all evening. He could’ve gone home hours ago. He honest to God meant to but he got sucked into his research and forgot that he promised his sister he’d leave at a decent hour tonight.

She didn’t come down to his office like she threatened. She just sent a text instead around eight asking where he was. He said he was just about to leave which at the time wasn’t a lie. He won’t tell her that he ended up staying way past when he was supposed to.

He packs up his things and makes sure to lock his office door behind him when he leaves, noting that the time on the clock keeps ticking on.

He doesn’t make it much further than that before a deep voice catches his attention.

“Dr. Styles. You’re still here.”

Harry turns to his left spotting his colleague Dr. Reese just stepping into his office with a large cup of coffee in one hand. “Hey, Aiden.” Harry greets him along with a polite nod of the head. “Er- I’m just heading out actually, so have a good night.”

Harry can’t even take a full step before Aiden starts to reel him back in.

“So, you’re letting me have on-call duty all to myself tonight? How kind and chivalrous of you,” he jokes. Harry grins back though he doesn’t really see the humor. He’s just going home. “It’s too bad you won’t be around again tonight. I kind of like it when we’re working as a team, you know?”

“Except we’re not a team,” Harry kindly points out for what has to be the millionth time.

“Well, maybe not officially,” he admits, “But you have to admit that it’s pretty nice when the stars align and we’re both here together like this.”

He smiles at Harry in the way he always does when he says something that could be taken two completely different ways. Harry doesn’t really have the energy to decipher which one it is tonight.

They’ve known each other ever since Harry finished his residency two years ago and moved in next door to replace the surgeon who retired. Aiden has never been subtle about the fact that he prefers Harry being his neighbor over old Dr. Watson. Aiden is great. He’s smart and so unfairly attractive that the single parents of both of their patients practically drool whenever he speaks to them or walks by. He’s six years older than Harry at thirty-seven, and because of all of his years of experience, he also happens to be an amazing surgeon. However, besides helpful tips and advice he can offer about tricky procedures, Harry’s never been interested. The fact that Aiden knows this and still tries to make Harry change his mind about the two of them is what he has fault with. His giant ego is something that Harry refuses to deal with.

“Well, Aiden, it’s been lovely catching up…” Aiden changes his approach when he senses Harry preparing to say goodnight again.

“So, tell me, Dr. Styles, have you already eaten dinner?” he asks, completely changing the course of their conversation. “I know it’s quite late...or early in my case,” he smiles, “But we should head downstairs to get something to eat anyway.”

That’s another thing that he does that Harry isn’t into. Harry hates how his invitations never sound like actual invitations. They’re more like orders skillfully disguised as invitations. Like Harry’s too stupid and charmed by his smile to know the difference.

“Aiden, it _is_ late. And you know I’m not very fond of cafeteria food so unfortunately, I’m going to have to pass. Thanks though,” he offers, attempting to take another step away but he’s stopped by a persistent hand curled around his wrist.

“Okay, okay. I agree that the food here is pretty awful, but how would you feel about an impromptu cafeteria date anyway? Just to humor me?”

Harry just stares at him. “The same.”

Aiden only looks slightly disappointed when Harry pulls his arm away to get a better hold on the bag slung over his shoulder. The action makes him chuckle and fondly shake his head at him, his eyes sparkling like Harry’s some puppy who just did something cute rather than a person who just shot down his advances yet again.

“You know, Harry, one day you’re going to have to say yes to somebody,” he sighs.

Perhaps, but that somebody isn’t going to be him. Harry doesn’t say that of course. He gives a tight grin, wishes Aiden a goodnight, and tries not to notice the feeling of his eyes glued to him as he walks away.

Harry really does hate cafeteria food so he doesn’t stop for anything to eat on his way to his car, but he does stop buckling his safety belt once he remembers his broken promise to watch Dory with Carly and Abigail tonight.

He rests his head on the steering wheel feeling like a complete dick for unintentionally lying to them. It’d be dumb to get back out of his car now just to go all the way upstairs to the children’s ward where everybody is probably asleep already. He knows this, but his conscience won’t let him stay here in the car.

He leaves all of his things in the passenger’s seat and heads back into the building up to the fourth floor. The playroom is empty and the movie has been over for hours. Mrs. Andrews isn’t even the nurse on duty anymore. She’s been replaced by Mrs. Lancaster who usually watches over the children at night. Harry apologizes for his extreme tardiness and then hurries to see if the girls are still awake. Carly isn’t. She’s actually snoring when Harry pokes his head into her room so he gives a silent apology to her parents and gently closes her door. Abigail should be asleep by now too, but she isn’t. She’s wide awake even though her mother is fast asleep in the chair next to her bed.

“I forgot about Dory. I’m so sorry,” he whispers.

“It’s okay. You usually don’t,” Abigail tells him. Harry forgets shit all the time, but it’s sweet of her to lie for him.

“Was it really fun?”

She nods with a little smile. “We got popcorn and juice.”

Harry groans, letting some of his curls flop over into his eyes. “I missed _juice_ night?” he complains. “ _Seriously_?”

Abigail laughs at him causing her mother to stir briefly where she’s passed out still dressed for work like she left it to come straight here. Hopefully, she won’t have to do that for much longer. As long as Abigail keeps healing at the rate that she currently is, they can both sleep in their own beds at home by next week.

“We all forgave you. You can come to the next one,” she says. Harry really hopes she won’t be here for the next one. Carly either. He’s hoping they’ll both be healed and healthy and far away from this place but he doesn’t say that. Abigail looks so excited about the prospect of attending another movie night here that he plays along and swears that next time he’ll be there.

He slumps back out to his car after he says goodnight to her and apologizes again to the night nurse who looks at him with sympathy and tells him to get some rest. Quite the running theme.

He heads straight for his refrigerator when he gets to his flat. He never has the time or energy for food shopping, but there are always tons of leftovers waiting for him thanks to his sister who always cooks more than she and Niall can eat so she can box it up and bring it here like the angel that she is. She often jokes that should’ve hyphenated her name when she got married. Harry often agrees since she basically plays the role of wife to both him and Niall since Harry’s too busy to cook, clean, and take care of himself in general. He’s just thankful that he isn’t limited to only consuming greasy fast food like he was during his residency. His waistline is glad of it too.

He eats a few bites of the chicken pasta that still tastes pretty fresh even though Harry has no idea how long it’s been sitting in the refrigerator. He downs a glass of water on his way to his bedroom and immediately starts toeing off his shoes when he gets there. He strips out of his clothes and lays across his bed, finally feeling that exhaustion that everybody has been talking about all day. It practically weighs his body down, making his limbs feel heavy, but there’s still some work that he needs to get through before he calls it a night.

He was almost half-way through reading one journal tonight at the hospital when he realized the time and the fact that he should’ve already left. He can’t just leave it until tomorrow like he knows he probably should. He never can, so he gets up to grab his laptop from his bag. He settles back onto his bed and even gets under the covers this time once he has it. His dry eyes protest every new line, but he resumes reading anyway until the words start to blur and run together just like the numbers displayed on the clock that now reads something crazy like two a.m. when he glances at it.

It’s so easy to stay awake when he’s at the hospital. There’s always something going on or someone who needs him for something. He doesn’t have time to be tired at work when there’s so much he needs to accomplish, so much that he needs to do. Here at home in his warm bed is a different story.

He starts drifting off with his computer still perched on his lap and open to the last four pages he’s yet to read. They’ll just have to wait until morning though because there’s no way his brain can retain anymore information tonight. The last thing he does before crashing is reach for his phone to make sure his alarm is set for six as usual. He doesn’t even get to put it back on his bedside table next to his laptop before his face is buried in a pillow and he’s gone.

*

“Er- Dr. Styles. You look…”

“Like hell?” Harry finishes for the nurse at the scheduling desk who blinks at him with wide eyes.

Harry didn’t think what he said was all that surprising considering Niall tells him he looks like hell or worse almost every day. It’s practically a compliment at this point.

“Well, _no_. I was just gong to say that you look a little tired,” she says as she busies herself with scheduling Cody’s pre-op appointment for first thing tomorrow morning as requested by his parents. Harry doesn’t blame them for wanting to get this whole situation over and done with. Harry wants to take care of it as soon as possible too.

Nurse Mindy’s face screws up as her fingers punch out the same combination of letters and numbers over and over again. The frown on her face deepens like the computer screen has personally offended her each time she tries to input something new.

Harry raises an eyebrow, wondering why this is taking longer than the fifteen seconds that it usually does.

“Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know. The system is being weird,” she mutters to herself. “It won’t keep any new appointments for you after today. It keeps throwing them back out.” She sighs to herself as she tries again mumbling about how someone should’ve warned her that the system wasn’t working correctly to avoid situations just like this.

She gives up after another minute of unsuccessful attempts and resorts to writing Cody’s appointment down on a sticky note instead. She promises to keep trying until it’s in Harry’s schedule as requested. That’s really all she can do, so Harry thanks her and wishes her luck.

He’s doesn’t have anything pressing to do at the moment now that the number one thing on his to-do list is _sort of_ taken care of. Or at least it will be once Nurse Mindy figures it out. He hasn’t heard from Niall since yesterday, so instead of going back to is office, he decides to take a little detour up to the sixth floor to pester him.

His blond head is ducked and eating something out of a clear container that looks very similar to the pasta that Harry scarfed down this morning at the last minute before rushing out the door. It can’t be as old as Harry thought it was if Niall’s eating it too. He’d know if there was any sign of mold growing on it. He is a scientist after all.

“Ni! I missed you,” Harry smiles as he enters the room. He sits down in the chair from Niall’s workstation and props his feet up on the edge of his desk as usual. Harry frowns when his best friend narrows his eyes at his feet and then at him before returning back to his lunch.

Harry quickly backtracks over the past twenty-four hours since the last time he visited Niall here and he can’t think of a single incident that would warrant such a cold welcome. Maybe he’s just having a bad day.

“…So…how are things? How was home date night?” Harry tries, hoping to lift Niall’s spirts since he was pretty excited about hanging out with Gemma yesterday when he brought it up.

“Oh, it was the best. _Amazing_. I always love it when we cook together. We tried out this recipe for chicken cordon blue and shared this delicious bottle of red wine that we’d been saving for a special occasion just like last night. She was so beautiful, Haz. She wore one of my old hoodies from uni with her hair all tied up the way she does when she just wants to be comfortable,” he grins. “After we ate, we curled up on the sofa and didn’t watch the movie, and after we made love it was so amazing and passionate that I thought to myself, _God_ , _this is the perfect night_ ,” Niall says while looking right at him.

Harry’s jaw aches from how hard he’s clenching it together. His best friend stares him down, practically daring him to even make so much as a grimace. Harry _did_ ask about how his night went so technically he can’t complain about this massive fucking overshare, but God knows he wants to.

“Wow, Ni,” Harry nods. “Cool. That sounds really…nice,” he finally decides on.

“Yeah, thanks, mate. It would’ve been quite lovely,” he agrees before his eyes narrow and voice turns cross, “If even _one_ of those things had actually fucking happened,” Niall snaps. “We didn’t get to do any of it!”

Harry scoffs at the way Niall’s pointing his fork at him. “Okay, so your night didn’t go as planned,” Harry gathers. “That’s no reason to take it out on _me_.”

“Like hell it’s not. My night sucked arse because of you.”

Which is a gross _lie_. Harry can admit that his hectic life often causes rifts in Gemma and Niall’s relationship, but that’s only because she’s his sister and Niall has been his best mate since before medical school. No one told them to fall in love, get married, and make shit complicated. The two of them practically asked for this.

“Niall, how am _I_ responsible for _you_ not getting laid?”

“Because my wife was too busy booking your bloody holiday all night because your stubborn arse won’t go to sleep like normal people do.”

“Wait. My what?” Harry is sure he heard that wrong.

“Yeah, that’s right,” Niall nods. “She found out you didn’t leave last night when you said you would so she booked you a one week stay on a beachfront somewhere thousands of miles away. I didn’t even try to stop her for you. Good riddance.”

“Wait. She did _what_?” Harry surges up from his seat, but doesn’t get much further than the door before Niall pipes up again.

“You won’t find her upstairs if that’s where you’re headed. She’s not even here.”

Typical. She would disappear on the day that Harry is dead set on strangling her. “Where is she?”

“At your flat packing your shit. Where else?” He hears Niall mummer a half-hearted farewell as he rushes back down to his own floor.

He stops at the scheduling desk again, causing the nurse stationed there to avoid his eyes when he addresses her.

“ _Please_ tell me you were able to put Cody’s appointment into the system,” he pants, making Nurse Mindy raises an eyebrow at him.

“Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to do it. Turns out it wasn’t the system acting up; your schedule is just blocked for the next week as holiday time.”

Harry can’t believe this is an actual thing that’s happening right now. “No, Mindy, there’s been a mistake. That was my sister’s doing. I’m not going anywhere. Just override it.”

Mindy shakes her head in silent apology “I already tried that. I also talked to Admin about it but you’re more than a year overdue for a break so they say the holiday time stays. I’m so sorry, Dr. Styles. They did wish you a relaxing holiday, though,” she offers as a consolation.

“What am I supposed to do about Cody’s pre-op?” Never mind the pre-op; what’s he supposed to do about the actual operation as well as the rest of them; _all_ of them. He usually ends up doing an emergency Appendectomy at least twice a fucking month. He can’t have an empty schedule for an entire week.

“Dr. Reese has agreed to cover all of your procedures. I couldn’t put Cody’s pre-op into your schedule because it was already in his. It’s been taken care of.”

Aiden is going to treat _his_ patients? The same Aiden that thinks the cafeteria is an acceptable place to chat someone up?

She frowns when Harry tears away from her desk. “D-Dr. Styles. Where are you going?”

 _To murder my big sister_ , he thinks to himself.

He finds Gemma right where Niall said she would be; waltzing around his bedroom with the largest of his suitcases laying wide open on his unmade bed.

“I figured you’d storm in here at some point,” she comments under her breath, not even looking up from where she’s folding his clothes. “It took a lot longer than I expected.”

“What the hell are you doing in here? It’s the middle of the day. Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“Nope.” Gemma goes to his wardrobe and grabs a few pairs of shorts to deposit alongside the thin t-shirts and swim trunks already neatly folded in his bag. “Lou let me have the morning off. I told her what I needed the time for and she practically wept over the phone about how great it is that you’re finally taking some time off for yourself.”

“Except I’m _not_ ,” Harry points out. He’s sick of everybody talking about this grand holiday that he didn’t plan and that he isn’t fucking going on.

“Oh, my dear brother, but you _are_. You’ve paid for an all-inclusive seven-day stay at an amazing resort in Hawaii _and_ you booked a round trip ticket set in stone so that you can’t shorten the amount of time that you’re going to be relaxing. Dr. Reese, your fully capable and esteemed colleague, is going to take care of all of your responsibilities for the next week, so even if you do manage to somehow get out of this trip you’ll have nothing to do but sit at work for the next week and stare longingly at that fish tank you love so much.”

Gemma fixes him with the same look that Niall did earlier, daring him to protest after she finishes. Harry says nothing as she resumes packing. He’s kind of too scared to.

“First of all, using my credit card without my permission is illegal as fuck.”

Gemma scoffs, not even mildly concerned about his identify theft claim as she tosses a pair of flip-flops into his bag. Harry tries to take them back out because he’s not going anywhere but she slaps his hand, forcing him to release his grip.

“Gemma! You can’t just _make_ somebody go on a vacation!”

“True. I guess it’s a good thing you’re not just anybody then,” she retorts. “You’re my brother and you haven’t taken a break in the two years since you’ve been working at that hospital, Haz. You’re overworked, you’re exhausted, and everybody who knows you agrees. I’m not asking you to go away for long. It’s just for a week, but you need it and I am not backing down.”

His sister loves him. That much is obvious in the way her eyes are pleading with him to just listen for once. She makes a convincing argument and the fact that he feels like a walking zombie on most days should really make him more apt to agree with her, but he just can’t. He’s needed here. Not on some random beachfront in Hawaii.

“Gems, I love you too and I appreciate your concern as well as everyone else’s, but I am fine.”

Gemma’s eyes are back to tiny green daggers aimed right at him. “You’ve probably slept a total of eight hours in the past three days. You’re _not_ fine.”

That’s another valid point. It still doesn’t make a difference. “Well, whatever. Either way, I’m not going anywhere,” he says, standing his ground and further iterating his point by successfully swiping the flip-flops from his bag this time and tossing them back across the room where they belong.

*

Harry’s on a plane four hours later still massaging the sting out of his left bicep that Gemma put there when she punched him for being an _‘_ unappreciative dickhead _’_ and then made him retrieve as well as repack his beach shoes.

She had to pull out the stops to actually get him to the airport by enlisting the help of their mother and even their _grandmother_ to make Harry feel guilty enough to want to cooperate. He’s always known that Gemma was a mastermind, but playing the grandma card is pretty low even for her.

His trip to Honolulu takes two flights and he spends the majority of the first one using the wifi to try and contact somebody at the hospital who will listen to him when he says that he had no part in planning this whole thing. Hardly anybody believes him and even the ones who do are so afraid of his sister that they’re no fucking help. The only person who will discuss anything work related with him at all is Aiden who assures Harry that he will personally handle everything in his absence because that’s what a team does. Harry tries not to vomit as he slams his laptop shut.

He’s tired. He has been ever since his alarm stared blaring at six this morning, but he didn’t actually feel it while he was at work. He never does really because he’s so good at blocking it out. It’s a helpful little skill that he learned in med school after pulling double all-nighters for so long in addition to attending class and clinicals all day. Running at full speed on empty is a hard habit to shake even all these years later.

There’s a baby crying two rows back and a little boy playing some annoying game without headphones across the aisle from him so it’s not like he has any hope of actually falling asleep even with the pair of earplugs Gemma tucked into his carry-on. He wouldn’t sleep even if they weren’t causing a racket because he can never get any real rest outside of his bed at home anyway; not that he spends a lot of time sleeping there either, but still. That along with about twenty other flaws in Gemma’s master plan are what makes Harry want to laugh. She went to all of this trouble to send him off to some island to lay awake all day and night when he could’ve easily done that at home and it wouldn’t have cost him a thing.

Harry has no idea what he’s supposed to do after his connecting flight from Texas lands in Honolulu. His brain hurts after being in the air for almost fourteen hours and watching more movies in that time frame than he has seen in the last five years combined.

The madness of baggage claim doesn’t really help with his delirium. Neither does the fact that Hawaii is ten hours behind his internal clock so the sun is setting where Harry’s brain knows it should be rising instead.

He doesn’t have to wonder when or how he’s getting to his destination for long before a man in a navy blazer and a woman in a flowery dress with a fancy card with his name printed on it spots him sitting on a bench and resting his brain with all of his stuff surrounding him. The woman smiles at him and places a giant pink lei around his neck in welcome. The man takes his things and escorts him out to a sleek black car that Harry doesn’t even question. He doesn’t ask where he’s being taken to when they all pull off into the sunset. He just hopes that wherever they’re going has a fucking bed.

Besides the fact that Harry doesn’t particularly want to be in Hawaii right now, he can’t help but find it beautiful as it passes by outside of his window. He hasn’t been to a beach in years, but the ones at home don’t look anything like these white shores. He still isn’t happy about being sent here against his will, but at least if he’s being exiled somewhere it’s to a place that looks like paradise.

The resort that Harry is taken to is fucking enormous and it only makes him feel more overwhelmed when he enters the busy lobby.

He fumbles through check-in trying to find the things that the concierge asks for to get him into his room. He struggles finding almost everything including his own ID so to save time he just hands the man his entire wallet and tells him to go for it.

Harry leaves the check-in desk fifteen minutes later with his wallet safely tucked back into his pocket, a glass of something colorful, alcoholic, and fruity-smelling, and an armful of tourism pamphlets and resort schedules that he can’t even see properly due to the giant lei still draped along his neck and shoulders.

The lady in the flowery dress starts walking through the lobby and Harry follows her, feeling like he’s lagging behind even though she’s only a few steps ahead. The lobby is bustling with resort staff and guests that make Harry tired just from looking at them. It leaves him feeling like everything in Hawaii moves in fast-forward except for him.

Harry hurries to catch up with his sluggish legs. He’s so focused on not losing sight of the dress lady and the massive fish tank to his left that he nearly spills everything he’s holding when a group of loud men he hadn’t noticed before comes rushing out of the lifts to his right.

The men block his path, hardly even noticing him dumbly standing there over their excited chatter. They’re all so full of energy as they head out of the lobby that Harry feels a slight stab of jealousy because all he feels like doing is closing his eyes for a nap.

One of them, a man now standing in front of the fish tank in a sky-blue t-shirt that’s doing something incredible and trippy with his matching eyes, sees Harry watching as his group walks by. He politely nods his head at Harry and shoots him a little grin because of the colorful drink clenched in his fist. Harry glances down at it in surprise because he forgot he was even holding it.

By the time Harry looks up again the group of men is already heading out the front door along with the cute one with the trippy blue eyes whom Harry’s about sixty percent sure his sleepy imagination conjured up.

Harry had expected to be led upstairs to a luxury hotel room, but the lady in the flowery dress walks straight across the lobby and out of the side entrance to a quiet piece of the beach where everything around them seems to move in slow motion just like him. There’s a tangerine sky above his head and the gentle sound of the tide washing in. His shoes sink into the warm sand beneath his feet that leads them right to a row of little bungalows dotted along the palm tree line. Harry’s about sixty percent sure that he’s imagining those as well, but the lady in the flowery dress unlocks the door to one and shows him inside so he assumes that he’s not dreaming.

She leaves him there with his things that are already there waiting for him. Harry only thinks to ask for her name once she’s already walking out the door. Apparently she’s Mai; or at least she was since Harry is now alone in his own private bungalow with a king-sized bed that looks like a fucking dream.

He only remembers the drink in his hand after he goes to take off his clothes and isn’t able to get very far with it. He takes a trial sip with a crinkled nose because he’s usually not one for coconut or rum, but the flavors mingle wonderfully as he downs the entire glass. He tosses his giant lei on the daybed after he’s finished chugging his drink. The pamphlets he received at check-in are filled with all kinds of fun things for him to get into during his stay, but he doesn’t have the energy right now to do any of them so he drops those on the day bed too. Maybe later.

Mai left the windows and the French doors open to let in the last few rays of sunset streaming across the sky. Harry closes all of them but leaves the blinds slightly parted so that the room isn’t left in complete darkness.

He finally strips out of his clothes and catches sight of his own reflection in the mirror across the room. His hair is a mess with random pieces of it sticking out of his hair tie. He steps closer once again noticing how much thinner he looks compared to a few years ago when he had the time and energy to workout. The bags under his eyes are the most alarming. He wonders if they’re always present or if today is just special, but that would explain why Niall tells him he looks like shit all the time. Harry doesn’t blame him.

He collapses beneath the wide canopy hanging over his bed after he’s finished staring at himself in the mirror. This mattress doesn’t feel anything like his mattress at home, but honestly, he’s so exhausted that he doesn’t even care. He allows his eyelids to droop under their heavy weight, but he manages to keep them open just a bit longer to unlock his phone.

Harry doesn’t even get to send Gemma a text to let her know that he made it here in one piece. He’s gone before he can finish tapping out the words.

*

When Harry opens his eyes again he immediately frowns because the low light filling his bungalow indicates that he’s up at bloody sunrise just like any other day of the week when he’s at home. He sighs and sits up to find his phone, only frowning deeper when the screen lights up to display the low battery symbol. He charged his phone on the plane. The battery should at least be at eighty percent after a night of not being used, but then Harry’s drowsy brain starts noticing the deep orange tint of the morning light spilling into the room and how it looks almost identical to when he first got here.

He stands to peek out the window closest to his bed, squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose when he sees the brilliant sunset happening out over the water. He snatches up the clock on his bedside table; _six forty-two._ He slept through an entire fucking day.

Harry’s arms and legs feel like slush but his bladder is screaming to be emptied so he heads to the bathroom first thing. The next order of business is his dead phone so he digs through his carry-on bag to find its charger. It doesn’t immediately turn back on when he plugs it in so he grabs his toothbrush and toothpaste to go scrub out his mouth while his phone is slowly being brought back to life.

When it’s charged enough to turn back on a few minutes later Harry sighs seeing the thoughtful text he constructed for his sister half-finished and still sitting in his message box along with messages from his friends and family wishing him a good holiday.

Sending Gemma’s text now would be dumb since he’s been in Hawaii for almost twenty-four hours, but he taps the little green button anyway. She replies almost immediately.

‘ _I called the resort yesterday and they told me you checked in. I figured you were asleep after your long flight and didn’t want to bother you. I’m glad you’re safe, I hope you’re resting, and I hope you have lots of fun on your trip! You deserve it, little bro! Love you!’_

It’s morning there. Gemma’s probably at the hospital right now. Curiosity begs him to ask her how things are, if the pediatric surgical unit has burned down without him, but he knows she won’t answer him and also that everything is probably fine. _Probably_. Harry types a quick ‘ _love you too’,_ shuts his phone off again, and then crawls right back into his bed.

He doesn’t understand how he’s as tired as he feels when he just slept from one sunset to the next but his body feels heavy and his eyelids must weigh ten pounds each because they droop even with Harry trying his best to keep them open. After a while, he stops fighting to stay awake and lets sleep win. He pulls his sheets up over his body and settles down into his fluffy pillow, his tangled curls blocking out the last rays of sunset where they fall into his face.

*

The first thing Harry notices when he wakes up again is the bright, cheerful tint to the sunshine streaming across his pillow. His clock displays a proud and normal eight-fifteen in the morning when he glances at it; that’s a pretty decent lie-in for him. He rolls over to let the rays warm his chest, glad that this isn’t another Hawaiian sunset that he’s experiencing. He has now seen enough of those to last a lifetime.

Harry’s arms don’t wobble when he sits up this time and his eyes feel as though they’ve shed their heavy weights. His body is wide awake but the rest of it doesn’t feel too great. His stomach feels like it’s caving in on itself as it rumbles from lack of food and his head is pounding, once again probably thanks to the fact that the last thing he consumed before crashing for almost two days was a giant glass of coconut rum.

He has to go to the bathroom again and while he’s in there he checks out his reflection. He doesn’t look quite as haggard as before, but he definitely looks disgusting.

His hair is so flat and heavy from sleep and his long flight that it’s nearly straight and smells like dried sweat from baking underneath the covers. His mouth is dry and tastes awful again even though he specifically remembers brushing his teeth last night.

He grabs his brush and starts at it again but he doesn’t stop there, marching to his suitcase afterwards to dig out all of the toiletries that his sister packed. He gets into the shower with all of them and stays there until his fingers start to wrinkle and the water runs cold. When he emerges, he feels like a brand new person and he smells like one too.

He changes into a pair of jean shorts and a t-shirt to go get something to eat, but decides against it when he sees the room service book tempting him from the bedside table. He opens it and is instantly sold, sitting down on his bed to order everything that makes his stomach growl upon reading it.

Delicious food is brought right to his door and then disappears into his mouth as if he has been starved. He flops back on his bed after he’s finished, too full to do anything else.

His eyes flit over to the daybed across the room with his withering pink lei and ocean of pamphlets full of wonderful attractions and activities that Harry still isn’t in the mood to tackle. Anything that involves moving right now sounds exhausting and Harry just stopped feeling like Rip Van Winkle.

There’s a remote control on his bedside table too that catches his attention. He assumes it goes with the giant flat screen hanging up across from his bed so he picks it and hits the power button to test it out.

Harry hasn’t spent a lazy day in watching tv since before his residency. He hasn’t had the time to, but that doesn’t mean he can’t give himself a quick refresher on how it’s done. He reaches for his trusty room service book again and orders himself a bottle of chilled white wine and a slice of every kind of cheesecake available in the kitchen. He strips out of his t-shirt and settles back down on his bed coming in right at the end of an episode of Friends, but that’s okay. He’ll catch the next one and the one after that too because luckily there’s a marathon.

Harry is convinced that his lazy day in bed is better than anything advertised in those pamphlets, though he does start to feel a bit guilty each time he glances over at them and then down at the wine stain on his sheets.

Maybe he should read over a few of them and venture outside of his bungalow for a bit. He hasn’t seen another living soul besides the three members of the kitchen staff who have come to Harry’s room in a steady rotation since he discovered the room service book this morning. There’s also his six best friends on the tv that Harry has been laughing and hanging out with all day, but they live in New York and technically they’re all fictional so he guesses they don’t actually count as far as human contact goes.

It’s just after seven when Harry decides to brave the outside world for food instead of taking the easy way out. He thumbed through the tourism pamphlets earlier and got pretty overwhelmed by all of the options for things to do, but there’s a luau dinner tonight that looked pretty cool and the best part is that he doesn’t even have to leave the resort to get to it.

He steps outside of his bungalow for the first time and breathes in the warm salty air on the breeze. The flip-flops that he made such a big deal about in his bedroom at home sink down into the soft sand when he starts up the shoreline towards the main building. He carries them instead, enjoying the feeling of warm sand between his toes.

The only time he’s been inside the lobby of this massive resort was when he arrived, so he has to stop and ask directions to the outdoor pavilion where the luau is apparently being held. He doesn’t have to walk far; just straight out the back of the lobby and towards the giant party happening in the courtyard right in front of him.

Besides the hundreds of people and hotel staff bustling around, food is the first thing that Harry notices lining the side of the courtyard from one end to the other. He hops in line at the buffet behind some other stranglers who have yet to start filling up their plates. Harry doesn’t know what half of things are that he’s piling high onto his own but it all looks delicious and smells even better so he doesn’t question it.

There are long clothed tables spread throughout the area that all of the people are now congregating around to eat. He assumes they’re all guests just like him, though most of them seem to be sticking close to their friends and families.

Harry feels a little strange having obviously showed up late to the luau and also alone. He’s uncomfortable inviting himself to intrude on other people’s quality time so he chooses one of the small round tables near the back of the courtyard where he won’t be in the way.

By the time he sits down with his food there’s a group of dancers performing up on the stage and several women in grass skirts pushing around carts full of colorful drinks with large chunks of fruit skewered through straws. Harry doesn’t know what the drinks are called either, but he flags one woman down to ask for one, sighing when it tastes even better than the drink he downed on his first night here.

As he finishes his food he sits back to watch all of the performers on stage. He sips on his third glass of nameless fruity something that has him feeling nice and warm as he surveys the big crowd. Most guests are digging into the dessert which is now being served by the ladies in the grass skirts. Harry glances around to try and catch the attention of one of them so he can have some pie too but catches the gaze of a man sitting across the courtyard instead.

He’s alone at a little round table just like Harry’s with a fruity drink in his hand too. The man doesn’t politely look away after a few seconds of prolonged eye contact like most people would after getting caught staring. The man tilts his head a bit instead, blinking at Harry in curiosity or perhaps even annoyance since Harry is now technically being rude and staring as well.

Harry looks away first, turning back to the stage to watch the fire dancer who is just getting started, but he has trouble focusing. The fact that there’s a man here dressed in grass and twirling fire sticks around his head should really hold Harry’s attention but his eyes involuntarily drift back across the courtyard to see what the stranger is doing. He aims for discretion but quickly turns back towards the stage when he notices the man doing the exact same thing as him.

After that, Harry forces himself to stare at the stage for a whole minute. He doesn’t know why he’s having such a hard time minding his own business tonight, but as soon as his minute is up he glances across the courtyard for a third time, feeling slightly disappointed to find the man gone.

“I thought that was you,” comes a voice behind him and much closer to Harry than he was anticipating. “Though, I couldn’t really tell from way over there.”

The man steps around to the front of the table so that Harry can see him head-on. It’s the man from across the courtyard, and at first, Harry isn’t sure who he’s mistaken him for when he grins like the two of them know each other.

“Um, hi?” he tries, sure that the man is about to realize he’s talking to the wrong person. “So…you know me?” he asks. It’s a dumb question because Harry’s certain that he has never spoken to this man in his life.

“Well, no, I don’t actually _know_ you, but I did see you once,” the man explains with a chuckle.

Now that Harry’s trying to place him, he kind of feels like he’s seen him before too. There are lots of things that stand out about him from his disheveled, messy hair to the bright orange lei hanging around his neck, but the vibrant, almost dazzling quality of his blue eyes is what slaps Harry’s brain awake. He’s surprised he didn’t recognize him sooner.

“I do know you. Or- I’ve seen you before,” Harry corrects. “You’re the one with the eyes,” Harry says and instantly regrets. Luckily his dumb comment makes the man smile rather run for the hills.

“That’s flattering, though, I think most people have those.” He’s joking. The playful lilt of his voice making his eyes crinkle and somehow light up even more. Harry is aware that most people tend to have eyes, but it’s the rich color of this man’s that hooked him. He’s fascinated by it even now as his gaze flits over Harry’s little table and the empty chair adjacent him.

“Mind if I…?” he asks with a hopeful grin, quickly backtracking when Harry doesn’t catch on and realize that he’s asking permission for something. “Unless you don’t want me to of course. You’re probably waiting for someone. I’m sorry.” He starts dismissing himself, feet already turning to walk back across the courtyard.

“No, please. I’m actually not waiting on anyone,” Harry assures him. He didn’t plan to have any company here tonight, but he’s not going to turn it down. Especially when the company looks like him. “Are you? Waiting on someone, I mean?”  He must be. He probably just walked over here to kill some time before they arrive. The last time Harry saw him he was surrounded by people whom he seemed pretty close with. Harry doesn’t see any of them here now of course, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t on their way.

“Uh, no, actually. I was here with some friends earlier in the week but now it’s just me,” he explains, taking a seat in the empty chair when Harry pushes it out for him with his feet. The man places his half empty drink down on the table and then reaches a tattooed arm across it with an outstretched hand. “I’m Louis, by the way. It’s nice to officially meet you.”

“Oh- Um, I’m Harry. And likewise,” he answers only after Louis smiles from his delayed response.

They let go when Louis angles his chair so he can watch the performers on stage from his new viewpoint, but he only stays focused on them for a few seconds before peeking over at Harry in the same curious fashion as before.

“So. _Harry_. How’s Hawaii been treating you? You got here, what, like three days ago?”

Harry can’t believe it has been that long. It’s probably because he lost an entire day to his exhaustion coma.

“Hawaii’s treating me pretty well I think. The food and drinks here are incredible,” he adds on. Besides hibernating, the good cuisine is the only other thing that Harry has cared about on this trip, so in his eyes this resort already gets five stars.

“You look well,” Louis agrees after giving him quiet consideration. “More, I don’t know… _settled_ since I saw you last, I guess.”

He looks more settled? That’s one way of putting it. Since Louis last saw him Harry has slept, showered, eaten his weight in cheesecake, and his brain has started functioning at normal pace again.

“Yeah, I think the phrase you’re looking for is that I now look less like death.”

It’s obvious that Louis’ trying to be polite when he stifles a laugh and shakes his head in disagreement.

“ _No_ , not at all,” he insists. “You looked amazing before with your eyes half-open and your hair doing that cool matted-down thing it was doing.”

Harry finds himself grinning along with him at the memory. God, Harry was even shocked by his own reflection that evening. The airport and hotel staff probably thought he was insane.

“It looks great now, by the way,” Louis says gesturing to his curls that are now full of life again.

Harry stops running his fingers through the ends of them when he notices himself doing it and sees Louis watching. “Thank you.”

Louis grins when Harry forces his fidgety hands into his lap. “Sure thing.”

They fall into a comfortable silence with one another and focus their attention back to the stage. Louis’ face is mostly turned away from him, but Harry can still make out the faint grin on his lips and see his fingers curled around his drink, lightly drumming along to the beat of the music. Harry should leave him alone and let him enjoy the show. Harry should probably watch it too but he kind of likes talking to Louis more.

“So, how’s Hawaii been treating _you_?” His own question asked in reverse makes the corner of Louis’ lips quirk up even more.

“Pretty good. Amazing really,” he answers, now facing Harry again. “My friends and I had been going nonstop ever since we got here a week ago. But one of them had a work emergency and another’s little girl caught some stomach bug, so they left yesterday. Everybody else decided to head back early too since they were going, but we’re paid up until Saturday so I decided to stick around and get in some more surfing and sightseeing. How about you?” Louis asks. “The Big Island _is_ pretty big. What’ve you been up to the last three days?”

Not a single thing. All he’s seen of The Big Island is the route from the airport to his bungalow.

“Er- I’m actually a little embarrassed to say that I haven’t done much. I’m at this luau tonight. Before that, I slept almost twenty-four hours and then discovered the splendor of room service.”

“Wow. I guess you were pretty tired to sleep that long. Rough flight?”

“Uh, sort of,” Harry shrugs, remembering the baby who cried on and off the whole time they were in the air. “Mostly it was just me and my job that wore me out. I work a lot.” Too much according to everyone else.

Louis nods understandably. “Yeah, I could tell you were a little out of it when I first saw you. What is it that you do if you don’t me asking?”

Harry sighs and takes a long sip of his drink before answering. His official job title is always a fucking mouthful. So is the long question and answer session that usually follows immediately after he says it.

“Do you want the long version or the short one?” He rolls his eyes when Louis immediately demands the long one with an air of amusement. And, okay, then. “I’m a pediatric hepatological and gastrointestinal specialist and physician.”

Louis face goes flat after he stops nodding like he knows exactly what that is. “Okay, short version please.” Harry wishes they’d just skipped right to that in the beginning.

“I’m a GI; stomachs, appendixes, and all that other internal stuff,” he lists off. “Or if your mouth is feeling _really_ lazy, I’m a kid surgeon,” he grins.

“Oh. Yeah. I totally knew that,” Louis mumbles before taking a long sip of his drink to play off his lie.

“ _Totally_ ,” Harry teases to make him laugh. “Don’t feel too bad even if you didn’t,” Harry tells him. “I used to have to practice saying it correctly in the mirror.”

He used to hate it when people asked him which field of medicine he wanted to go into. Even people in medical school looked at him like deer caught in headlights whenever he rambled off an encyclopedia’s worth of words as his dream job.

“So, what about you, Louis? What do you do?”

Louis stops nursing his drink and blinks up at him in surprise like he didn’t expect Harry to ask.

“Me? Oh, my job’s pretty boring compared to yours,” he says, waving him off. Harry raises his eyebrows in encouragement because _nothing_ about Louis so far has been boring and he’s pretty sure his job will be quite the same. “It’s no big deal really. I’m just the head contemporary analyst and part-time melodic rhythm technician for this small enterprise a few days a week. Again, it’s nothing too serious,” he adds when all Harry does is blink at him.

“ _Oh_ ,” Harry nods. “That sounds...” like a clusterfuck of a profession that Harry has never heard of in his entire life. He has no clue what the hell that is and he’s sure his face probably shows it when Louis’ stony expression cracks under the pressure of his growing smile.

“I’m a music teacher. I was just fucking with you,” he snorts.

Harry runs Louis’ lengthy and important job title through his mind for a second time and then splutters into his drink.

“That was so mean! I felt really bad for a minute there. I didn’t know what the fuck that was.” He can’t believe he fell for that. Most people stare at Harry like he’s an alien because of what he does for a living, but no one has ever thought to dish it back to him. He guesses he kind of deserves it after all these years of confusing people. Apparently, Louis thinks so too.

“Well, fuck, Curly, I couldn’t let you beat me just because you’re a modern-day hero and you save people’s bloody _lives_ ,” he argues in defense of himself. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll start telling people I’m a teacher that way from now on. I thought it actually sounded pretty badass for once. It doesn’t happen too often,” he laughs.

“No, no, it did. It _does_. You get to teach people to play instruments and listen to music all day. That’s amazing.” The younger version of Harry who had time to listen to music and mess around on the guitar would’ve loved to have Louis’ job. He probably would’ve gone into a profession like Louis’ had he not fallen in love with medicine first.

Louis nods in agreement after a while of contemplation. “Yeah, I guess music is pretty cool,” he shrugs, “But it’s not as important or amazing as all the good that you do each day,” he says without a hint of teasing. “I have a mate whose dad is a doctor, so I know you sacrifice a lot. More than most people probably even realize.”

Harry clears his throat when he starts to feel his face heating up under Louis’ impressed gaze. He kindly looks away when he can tell Harry is uncomfortable, but Harry’s skin is still all warm and tingly from all of his attention. Thankfully, Louis changes the topic a few seconds later to something that doesn’t make Harry blush.

“I can’t be certain, but I think we’ve missed dessert.”

Harry looks around at the luau that does indeed seem to be dwindling down. The courtyard is still full of people, but some of them have already crept out. The ladies in grass skirts who were serving dessert are now weaving through the tables to clear them off so Louis’ assumption is correct.

After the mountain of sugar that Harry consumed today in his room, he doesn’t technically _need_ any dessert but he sits there in anticipation anyway, just hoping Louis will suggest that they go get some from somewhere else.

“…So, Harry, do you like pineapple?”

_Bingo._

Harry tries not to smile too hard from Louis’ random fruit tangent but he’s dying to know where he’s going with it.

“I do. I’m quite fond of them,” he answers wondering how Louis’ going to turn this around.

“Well, that’s good to know, because there’s this outdoor bar down the beach that puts giant scoops of kiwi and mango ice cream right inside of them. It’s incredible. Life-changing.”

“Sounds like it,” Harry chuckles.

“Would you maybe be interested in accompanying me to get one of these masterpieces?” he asks once he’s gotten up the nerve. And it’s lovely how Louis’ invitation to go get some dessert sounds exactly like what it is; an invitation. Harry likes that he’s being asked for once rather than kindly ordered around the way Aiden does.

“I’d love to. I’ve been craving an ice cream filled pineapple all night.”

He sees Louis release a small breath like he wasn’t sure that Harry would actually say yes to that. It’s refreshing because he didn’t just assume that Harry would go with him or that he should.

“Great,” he says standing up from his chair even though the luau is still going on around them. “I’ve been craving one of those too and- wait a minute. You’re fucking with me aren’t you?” he realizes. “You’ve never even had ice cream in a pineapple.”

“Nope. Never in my life,” Harry confirms, but he can’t wait to try it.

Louis promises him that his mind is about to be blown when he stands up from the table and leads the way towards this mysterious bar down the beach. Harry follows behind, not really worried about whether he’ll like this place or not because he’s having such a nice time with Louis that it doesn’t matter.

*

“I’m glad to see you’re enjoying yourself,” Louis chuckles, watching as Harry licks mango ice cream off the side of his hand rather than using the pile of napkins in front of him.

“God, this is so good. I’m mad at myself for only eating gourmet cheesecake from the kitchen this whole time. What a waste.”

Louis laughs, his eyes still fond as he watches Harry eat like a barbarian but there’s a hint of curiosity there as well.

“You really haven’t done anything besides sleep? You came to this beautiful place all by yourself?”

There’s no judgment in Louis’ voice when he asks. He seems to just be making small talk and is genuinely interested, but he also seems quite concerned that Harry isn’t having a good time.

“This trip wasn’t really my idea. I don’t do holidays. I haven’t had a break for quite some time actually so there was a mutiny at my hospital and they kicked me out.”

“Really? How long has it been?”

“Two years,” Harry sighs only just now realizing how crazy that sounds because in reality it’s been longer. Two years is just how long he’s been out of his residency. He never had the time to take a break before then either. None of that has ever bothered him or sounded quite so awful when it’s Gemma or Niall saying it. It’s different coming out of his own mouth though.

Louis’ eyes widen in disbelief. “You’ve been working nonstop for that long? Well, no wonder you slept for a whole day. You deserve a whole month. Maybe even two,” Louis tells him. He shakes his head like he still can’t fathom how Harry’s alive. “And what about home? What do you do for fun when you’re there?”

Nothing. _Work_. Harry doesn’t really have time for things like that. This pineapple and this conversation are the most fun he’s had in months.

“I’m afraid I don’t really have much of a social life there either. But, I used to. When I was younger,” he shrugs, thinking back on the fun weekends he and Niall used to spend together before and sometimes even during medical school. “My best mate married my sister so they’re usually off in their own little world these days and everyone else I know is just as busy as I am, so.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Louis gives him an empathetic nod. “You’ve _got_ to start talking better care of yourself,” he chastises, “But I know what you mean about your friends. Mine are pretty much the same. We’ve all taken a trip together every year since before I can even remember which was always great but I didn’t get the whole ‘ _start a family’_ memo that everyone else did so I oftentimes end up being the last man standing.”

“Kind of like right now?” Harry grins since the whole reason they’re even chatting right now is because Louis’ here alone too.

“Yeah, exactly like right now, but, I’m not mad that they left,” he claims. “It actually worked out perfectly, because if they hadn’t, I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to hang out with you tonight.” He grins, making Harry’s stomach flutter and turn a little somersault and _not_ because of all the ice cream.

They leave and head back the way they came, stopping off at a bonfire that’s just getting started. The moon is high in the sky but the night is still relatively young. Harry smiles over at Louis who’s got his flip-flops kicked off, watching the moon’s reflection out over the water.

“So, what’s next?” Harry grins after some of the people around them start making other plans to extend the night.

Louis grins down at his toes, the corners of his eyes all crinkled up the way Harry is really starting to like.

“Uh, not much for me I’m afraid,” he answers. “I told you we’re paid up until Saturday, so tomorrow’s my last full day. Drinks sound fun, but I don’t really want to spend tomorrow hungover in my room. I think I’d rather surf instead.”

Harry vaguely remembers Louis telling him earlier that his time here is almost up. That’s too bad because Harry still has three whole days left and his brain had already sort of incorporated Louis into all of them. He hopes his disappointment isn’t noticeable.

“So,” Louis says, playfully meeting Harry’s gaze. “How early does a kid surgeon usually wake up when he’s on holiday?”

Harry bites down on a smile. Maybe goodbye is further off than he thought.

“I don’t know,” Harry shrugs. “It depends on what you have in mind. How early would this theoretical surgeon need to be up exactly?”

“Mmm… around six-ish?”

Harry makes a face that demonstrates exactly what he thinks about that. He’s only been on normal people time for a day, but six a.m. already sounds like torture.

“Okay, so, maybe not then,” Louis laughs, not taking Harry’s reaction too hard. “Well, I don’t know if you surf at all or if you want to learn, but there’s a school about ten minutes _that_ way,” Louis says pointing in the direction they just came from. “I didn’t bring my phone down so I can’t call you, but, if you do happen to wake up early and decide that six-ish isn’t too bad, I’d love to see you there. The water is beautiful first thing in the morning.”

Harry has never touched a surfboard in his life. He’s not very fond of being in the ocean either due to all the weird shit that lives in it and yet he still wants to go.

“Okay. Six,” Harry nods. “I’ll remember. I’ll be there.”

Louis snorts at how quickly he commits. “Only if you want. It’s okay if you don’t show.”

“No, I’ll be there,” Harry promises. “After all, I’ve got to start having fun at some point, right?”

\---

It is _not_ fun when Harry’s alarm scares him awake at five forty-five the next morning.

Harry rolls over into his pillow after he flings his phone across the room, determined to sleep at least another thirty minutes when he remembers why he even set an alarm to begin with.

 _Louis_.

The thought of freezing his arse off in the middle of the Pacific Ocean and possibly being eaten by sharks doesn’t suck quite as bad when he pictures Louis freezing and being eaten alive with him.

He practically crawls down the beach in a pair of swim trunks and a green tank top that Gemma must’ve dug out from the very bottom of his shirt drawer because he hasn’t worn it in forever. The journey to the surf school takes longer than he anticipated, but the view is nice and the rising sun is warm so he can’t really complain.

Soon enough, the surf school appears to Harry’s right and he panics for a second because there’s no one outside of it except him. He approaches the door, pleasantly surprised when he peeks inside to find several sleepy-looking people, Louis included.

“You’re awake,” he smirks.

“Barely,” Harry jokes back, nearly choking on the word when Louis stands from his bench to pull off his shirt and toss it to the floor.

Harry saw the other people in the room when he poked his head in, but he didn’t notice them slipping into their wetsuits. Louis acknowledged him and everything else became trivial detail. Louis half-naked and tattooed and half-naked is definitely _not_ trivial detail.

“Don’t worry, you get one of these too,” Louis says when he sees the way Harry is watching him get ready. He has no idea that Harry’s staring has nothing to do with wetsuit envy. God, he wonders how long Louis had to lay out to get a tan that even and beautifully golden. Harry would have sunburn down to his bones.

The instructor notices him standing there without a clue just watching Louis squeeze himself into the tight fabric of his suit. Just like Louis said, Harry gets one too, though his is much taller to account for his height.

He stands in the back of the room to start the process of putting the suit on once the instructor gives him a quick tutorial of how it’s done. And he’d like to think Louis is staring at him because he looks irresistibly sexy while squeezing into lycra latex, but he knows that isn’t the case when he sniggers at Harry staggering around trying to stick his long legs through the holes.

“Sitting down usually helps. You only stand up once your legs are in,” he offers. Harry does as he says and is delightfully surprised when the wetsuit slides up his calves rather easily.

“First time surfer?” Louis asks after they’ve each been given a board and they’re headed out the door.

“Is it that obvious?”

“No, not at all. Only when you walk. Or ask questions. Or like, breathe.” Harry rolls his eyes and Louis immediately soothes his ego, knocking their hips together to make him grin. “I’m only joking, Curly. You’re going to do just fine.” Harry sure hopes so.

It’s only been about twenty minutes so far and Harry hates surfing. He hasn’t even touched the water yet because he’s still learning how to pop up on the bloody sand. Louis is so good that he didn’t even have to do this part. He got to go straight to the water while Harry got to count every glorious step that he took, Louis’ wetsuit forcing Harry’s mind to go places that are not fit for the skintight clothing that he’s also wearing.

He doesn’t get much better at coordinating the almighty pop up even after being coached one-on-one, but the instructor must be tired of watching him struggle with it because she lets him go out into the waves with everybody else.

“Ready to catch a big one?” Louis asks when Harry paddles over toward him. He’s been catching big ones all morning and looking incredible while doing it. On second thought, the fact that Harry spent so much of the morning admiring Louis’ body on the water is probably why he sucks so bad.

“I’m ready to try and not fall and to not be eaten by a shark.”

“Well, not falling is an admiral goal, but the sharks? Those are inevitable, mate. They have to eat something,” he says with a somber glance over Harry’s long limbs.

Like hell they do.

“Ha. Ha.” Harry deadpans. They’re still pretty close to the shore. He’s pretty sure sharks live further out, but still. Fear makes him look down at the blue waters that are clear, but still too dark to see more than a couple of feet past the surface. “Y-You don’t think there are actual sharks in here? Right?” he checks.

“In the ocean? Oh, I’m sure there’s _tons_ ,” Louis smiles. It doesn’t falter when Harry narrows his eyes at him or when a fresh wave comes rolling in from behind them. Louis just smiles even brighter, yelling for Harry to lie down and start paddling in order to catch it. “Go on! Hurry up!” he says, only making Harry panic because he couldn’t even do this on the sand. There’s no way he’s going to be able to do it on top of a fucking _wave_.

And he doesn’t. He tries to stand up, wobbles for a second, and then tips right over the side of his board. When he resurfaces all he hears are seagulls squawking overhead and Louis half-choking to death on his own laughter as he paddles towards him.

“Look at you! That was a really good first try!”

“I just drank a gallon of salt water.”

Louis doesn’t deny that it was a rather graceless fall, but his enthusiasm is still bright as ever. “Well, yeah, you did,” he admits, “But at least you tried to stand up! You’re full of natural potential. A few more attempts like that and you’ll be a pro in no time.”

“God, you are such a teacher,” Harry laughs, feeling oddly accomplished even though he hasn’t done a single thing. Louis has that effect he guesses; this uninhibited, inspiring essence about him that fits right in with the island. Harry wishes he were that free. “I bet your students love you.”

Louis’ eyes match the water they’re sitting in when he smiles.

“What can I say? Encouragement is the best motivator.”

No. Imagining how impressed Louis will be if he actually manages to stand up is the best motivator.

Harry practices all morning just getting his limbs to do to what they’re supposed to do each time a new wave comes. Louis is no beginner. Harry expected him to swim off and surf huge waves by himself but he stays there with him, coaching Harry until a miracle happens and his feet finally stay planted on the board as it glides on top of the water.

It only lasts a few seconds because Harry immediately panics once he realizes what he’s done. He looks backward to see if Louis is watching and falls in the process, but he doesn’t care. Not when Louis is cheering for him like an idiot.

*

They’re tired when they finally drag themselves out of the water around noon. Harry’s legs and thighs feel like jelly after catching a total of four waves after he finally got the hang of popping up. Louis’ muscles are more used to surfing and therefore much stronger, but even he looks exhausted from being in the sun all morning.

He rubs at his neck and shoulders after he takes off his suit and sits down next to Harry, sighing deeply from the released pressure on his lower back.

“You know, I _said_ I wanted to do things and sightsee today, but I don’t think my body wants to move,” he smirks, carefully stretching out his legs and rotating his ankles that must feel tight. “What about you? What’s your plan for the rest of the day?” Harry doesn’t have one. Louis invited him here for the morning, but beyond that, he hasn’t a clue.

 “We should do something that you want to do,” Louis suggests, “We’ll even it up a bit since you sacrificed sleep, warmth, and even shark attacks to come surfing.”

Minus the potential sharks, those things weren’t sacrifices at all. Not when he got to spend the whole morning with Louis as a consolation.

Harry thinks about all of the adventurous things he saw in his pamphlets. There are tours and mountain hikes they can go on, volcanoes they can climb, and apparently even dolphins that they can swim with. All of those things sound nice, but they’d also probably put them both down for a ten-hour nap. This is Louis’ last day. He should at least be awake for it.

Harry’s sore and he’s achy from surfing and Louis doesn’t look like he’s faring much better so Harry says the first thing that comes to mind.

“I would _love_ a massage right now.”

He hasn’t had one in years.

Louis blinks over at him, one eyebrow quirked almost up to his hair line. “What, here? Right now?” he says looking around the closing surf shop that won’t reopen for another two hours.

“No,” Harry chuckles though honestly, he wouldn’t mind Louis rubbing his body down or vice versa. “In the _resort_ ,” he clarifies. “There’s this spa I read about. It’s supposed to be _amazing_.” Harry nearly sighs just thinking of all the relaxing wonders that await.

Louis seems to be considering it.

“You’ve never been to a spa before have you?” Harry realizes after Louis agrees to this massage with a tense sort of nod. He grins at Harry calling him out just as Louis called him out today on being a first-time surfer.

“Is it that obvious?”

“Yes. Because if you had, you’d already be half-way down the beach right now ready to get your _entire body_ rubbed down in warm, scented oils.”

*

Harry didn’t have to do much more convincing than that to get Louis on board. They both went back to their respective rooms to shower and change, met up for burgers at the Lava Shack because they were starving, and then headed straight over to the spa that Louis still seemed a little unsure about despite Harry assuring him that he’s going to love it.

For once, Louis was the one in uncharted territory when they walked in, blushing and blinking down in surprise when Harry asked for the couple’s package just for the chance to see the look on Louis’ face when he realizes what he’s been missing all his life.

“Ready?” Harry asks as he holds their studio door open for them. There are two large massage tables positioned side by side with a whole platter of various oils set up and waiting for them. Harry walks right over to the one on the right, gesturing for Louis to come further into the room to take the one on the left.

He eyes the table with uncertainty for a moment, much like Harry did this morning when their surf instructor handed him a giant surfboard like he knew what the hell to do with it. Harry manages to hold back his laughter as Louis awkwardly maneuvers himself onto the table and lies down flat on his stomach.

“So, I just put my face in this hole like it’s normal?”

Harry snorts so hard that he nearly spits.

“It depends on your definition of normal I suppose.”

Louis shrugs as he comfortably fits his face in the cushioned holder with a mumbled, ‘ _Won’t be the first time_ ,’ making Harry cackle so loud that he’s sure the people in the next room heard him.

The door opens a few seconds later and Harry forces himself quiet so he can lie down and get comfortable as well. He loosens his towel so that it drapes over his bum and the backs of his thighs. He peeks over at Louis to remind him to do the same but finds that he has already done it and is still staring his way, his eyes dragging over the long lines of Harry’s body.

One of the massage therapists walks over to the window to close the blinds and disrupts Louis’ view. She lights the candles on the windowsill and Harry wills himself to relax and stop reading into the way Louis looked at him before turning away, but that’s easier said than done when Harry knows the man is practically naked himself and lying just three feet away.

Besides the soft sounds of the relaxation playlist that Harry selected outside, the room is completely silent when his masseuse rolls her knuckles into the tense muscles of his back. Harry exhales at the touch and then snorts aloud at the unexpected giggle that erupts from Louis’ side of the room.

He goes quiet again after a couple of seconds. Harry tries to regain composure as his masseuse starts again by gently sliding her forearm across his shoulders. Harry pops his head up to see what the hell is going on over at Louis’ table when an amused cackle fills the room followed by a quick apology. Each time Louis’ masseuse tries to apply any sort of pressure to his muscles he giggles and squirms like he’s trying to get away. He apologizes profusely and promises to do better when she reminds him to relax and stay as still as possible.

Louis takes a few deep breaths and tries to do what she said, now only making the occasional, breathy squeal in the back of his throat each time she accidentally tickles him. Eventually, Harry gives up keeping his face down in his cushion. He can’t even be annoyed with Louis for fucking up the Zen in the room when Harry’s heart is practically melting from how endearingly cute he is.

The oils go a lot better for him since it takes less pressure from the masseuse to properly rub them into his skin. A surprised, sharp intake of breath is all Harry hears from him when the first few drops hit his skin. The scalp treatment is the last part of their package and also the most entertaining for Harry to witness since Louis apparently enjoys the feeling of someone scratching through his hair way more than kneading their fingers into his flesh. He’s so pliant and completely sucked into it that he doesn’t even notice the little groans that escape his slack mouth.

“Fuck. That was _so_ …I don’t even know the word for how great that was,” he sighs on their way out of the spa. “I should’ve been getting scalp massages my whole life. I didn’t even know that was a thing,” he laments.

“Well, I’m glad _something_ at the spa made it worthwhile for you,” Harry chuckles, “I was worried for a minute there at the beginning that you were going to get us kicked out.”

Luckily, their therapists found Louis as charming as Harry does and took Louis’ giggling in their stride, though Harry caught them shooting each other several bewildered, amused looks over his and Harry’s tables.

“I guess I should’ve mentioned that I’m a little ticklish. I didn’t think it was relevant,” he laughs.

A _little_ ticklish is an understatement.

Harry digs his fingers into his side as they’re walking just to see the way he yelps and twists away from the assault.

“Don’t use my weaknesses against me! I don’t throw sharks at you,” he complains with as serious of face as he can manage through his laughter.

They make it back to the lobby near the fish tank and the lifts that Harry first saw Louis stumble out of. Harry smiles to himself because he had been so sure that he made Louis up that night, and yet here he is, anxiously biting down on his bottom lip because they’ve been prolonging this day since they woke up this morning and neither of them knows what to say.

“What time is your flight tomorrow?”

“Early,” he grumbles. “Nine.”

“Nine’s a lot better than six-ish. Don’t whine,” Harry jokes. He wishes Louis didn’t have to go at all.

“I have to go back to my disaster of a room and pack and all that stuff at some point today,” he sighs. Harry nods, knowing that Louis has already wasted most of his last day humoring him. Louis probably has a billion and one things to do but he smirks at Harry like he doesn’t give a shit. “Want to help me be super irresponsible and go on an adventure instead?”

Harry doesn’t even hesitate before giving a big, resounding yes.

*

Harry doesn’t remember much about the night that he first arrived. He remembers thinking the landscape of the island was pretty, but he was too tired to pay attention to many details. Not like now when he’s wide awake and everything around them looks like a dream.

He and Louis were the only two people brave enough to attempt an island van tour despite the thin layer of clouds rolling in overhead. Louis has taken this tour once before with his friends so he isn’t quite as enthusiastic about the mountains in the distance and the rocky coves with crystal waters than sparkle even without the sun shining down on them. He just grins, quiet and fond to himself in the backseat of the van, looking more fascinated by Harry whining about forgetting his camera and phone yet again than anything outside the window.

Their final stop is at the North Shore where they watch what they can of the sunset from a small cliff overlooking the water. The vibrant colors of it get caught up in the clouds and aren’t quite as brilliant as Harry knows they could be, but that doesn’t make it any less beautiful to watch.

“I am so going to miss this,” Louis sighs as the sun disappears.

Harry has never seen sunsets like the ones here so he hums in agreement, though what he’s really going to miss about Hawaii is this little thing with Louis that started developing the moment they saw each other in that courtyard.

It’s dark and thundering on the way back. Car rides have always made Harry feel like drifting off and the change in weather isn’t really helping. He leans his head against the back of the seat to rest his eyes for a bit, his lips pulling up into a small grin when he feels a brave yet tentative hand carefully slip into his and squeeze. This thing with them is temporary and isn’t even really a thing. Harry is aware of this, but it’s still nice to know that he’s not the only one feeling it.

Their tour van drops them off in the same location that they started; just down the street from the main building of the resort, but they choose to go down to the beach to walk along the water instead.

They walk slowly and they still manage to make it to their destination too soon. Neither of them has acknowledged the fact that they’re still holding hands except for a shy glance at one another before they let go and smile down at the sand beneath their feet. Their clock has run out but neither of them wants to say it first.

“I guess you’re all done being irresponsible now.”  

“Yeah, I think so,” Louis smiles. “Unfortunately.” Unfortunately is right. “Thanks for being my co-conspirator?”

Harry smiles back, wishing they could prolong the inevitable a bit longer.

“Of course. I had fun,” Harry tells him, hoping Louis knows that the only reason he’s been having such a good time here is because of him.

They go quiet for a few beats where the ‘ _have a nice life’_ ought to go, but neither of them says it.

“So, this whole thing kind of sucks, doesn’t it?” Louis says. Tiny raindrops start splattering onto the beach and the tops of their heads as soon as the words leave his mouth. “Okay, it sucks _a lot_ ,” he amends.

Harry laughs and agrees, though he doesn’t really mind the rain. The hard part is accepting that this is over, but it has to be done. They can’t just stand here forever putting off goodbye.

He pulls Louis in for a quick hug just to get it over with. It’s kind of like ripping off a bandage to lessen the sting and yet he still feels it.

“It was nice to see you that one time in the lobby and then meet you for real at a luau,” Harry says, making Louis snort because the raindrops are just getting bigger, the thunder is only getting louder, and they’re still standing there in the middle of it hugging and reminiscing about a luau that neither of them paid attention to.

Harry keeps waiting for him to leave once they break apart; for Louis to turn and run up the wooden steps and out of the rain, but it doesn’t happen. He can’t leave and instead of trying to, Harry gets Louis’ gentle lips on his and a heart that skips several beats as he eagerly kisses him back.

The way Louis holds him and kisses him feels like a deep exhale or a giant wave that’s been trapped and ready to break free. It’s like Louis has been waiting forever just to pull him this close, but there’s a hint of a farewell about it too when he pulls back with hopeful eyes almost as stormy as the dark waves behind them.

“Come up with me?” he asks over another loud clap of thunder that nearly drowns his request out completely, but Harry catches it.

His whole body begs him to say yes.

He should follow Louis right up to his hotel room and stay there until he kicks him out. Louis has been the best part of this entire trip. He’s amazing and their time together was just what Harry needed, but even if they do go up to his room, it won’t change the fact that he’s leaving. It won’t change the fact that Harry is leaving in just a couple of days too.

It’s a harsh reality, but it’s also one that Harry needs to remind himself that this isn’t real. Saying goodbye is already a lot harder than it should be considering the amount of time they’ve known each other. He doesn’t want to make it even more difficult by making things more complicated.

Louis was right. This does suck.

“I want to,” Harry begins. “I really, really do, but, Louis-”

“No, I get it,” he says, waving off his rejection. “I know.” He must’ve seen Harry’s answer coming from a mile away because he doesn’t look too terribly disappointed. It’s more like he understands exactly what Harry meant. “You don’t have to explain anything. I just…I figured it was worth a try. I didn’t want to have to wonder ‘ _what if’_ a week from now, you know?”

“Y-Yeah, I guess,” Harry says, already left wondering _‘what if’_ and Louis hasn’t even gone anywhere yet.

“Well, I guess I better go then,” Louis says pointing vaguely at the building behind them. He kisses Harry once more on the cheek, absolutely drenched in rain though he’s still wearing a grin same as always, already backing away to make a run for it.

“Okay. I’ll see you,” Harry waves, regretting his use of the expression because it’s a lie. He won’t see Louis anymore.  

Louis gives a quick wave as well before turning to face the steps. He only makes up about three of them before yelling over his shoulder.

“Not that you asked or anything, but I’m in 803 if you get so bored in your luxury bungalow that you feel like helping me pack. Or we could discuss the beautiful weather if you’d like,” he smirks. “Whatever you want.”

He says it as a joke and Harry does laugh even though they both know that none of those things would take place if they spent the evening up in Louis’ room. If only.

Harry promises that he’ll think about it even though he knows he’ll do no such thing. He runs down the beach towards his bungalow when Louis disappears up the stairs, smiling because he’s never been kissed in the rain.

He’s dripping wet by the time he makes it inside. The bubbly feeling in his chest is long gone and replaced with a weird sort of knot in his gut. He tries to push it aside, focusing on stripping out of his wet clothes to go take a hot shower and presumably forget about Louis.

He feels a bit better once he’s out. The little knot inside his stomach hasn’t really gone anywhere but it’s smaller now as he changes into some dry clothes and stretches out across his bed. He listens to the steady rain falling against his roof, and the thunder rumbling overhead, and slowly, he starts adapting to life in Hawaii without Louis.

The thought of doing things without him is more than a little strange since Louis and Hawaii have been synonymous in his brain for the past two days. He begins the hard work of separating the two. It only takes his brain a few minutes to realize that it’s impossible. It takes even less time for him to realize that Louis leaving tomorrow really has nothing to do with the two of them being here right now.

It’s like a little ink blot in his mind that spreads and seeps in deeper the longer Harry rolls it around. One minute passes and Harry has convinced himself that the two of them finding each other here was nothing less than fate, another ticks by and he’s talked himself out of it with reasoning and logic because fate doesn’t exist. Or does it? He has no idea.

Louis did make sure that Harry knew his room number and Harry _is_ bored to death lying here all by himself in his bungalow knowing Louis is just up the beach and up the stairs. Louis may have extended that invitation for him to come up just to be polite, but the energy and the quiet burn that radiated off of Louis’ lips and onto his thirty minutes ago says otherwise.

Harry goes back and forth about whether or not sleeping with Louis right now will be a great idea or the absolute worst the whole time the thunder storm rages outside his bungalow. By the time the rain stops Harry is already half-way out the door, not really giving a shit.

He hurries down the wet beach and up the same wooden steps where he watched Louis disappear earlier. He maneuvers past guests and staff members to get through the lobby, upsetting one elderly couple with their luggage when he crashes into their lift because he thought it was going up without him.

There’s a moment of surrealism when he steps into the corridor of the eighth floor and Louis’ room is right there in front of him. 803. He didn’t even have to go searching for it like he thought he would where he assumed he’d lose his nerve and turn around to go back.

It’s right here. _Louis_ is right here just within reach. Harry doesn’t really know why that scares him, but perhaps it’s not fear at all; just pure dauntlessness and adrenaline from finally going after something that he wants.

He knocks three times, feeling his pulse quicken when he hears someone’s footsteps rushing towards the door from the inside.

Louis opens it allowing a wide grin to take over his face like he half-expected Harry to be the one standing there. “I guess you got bored,” he teases.

“No. I changed my mind.” Harry barely even hears the ‘ _Thank, God_ ,’ that Louis responds with before he’s inviting himself inside to feel Louis’ hands and mouth on him again.

*

Harry can’t actually remember how long it has been since he last slept with someone. He doesn’t know the exact number of months, but he knows it was with Conor, one of Niall’s extremely fit cousins whom Harry had never met because he lives in Mullingar and only came to London for Niall’s massive birthday weekend because he was newly single. Niall wasn’t too happy about them hooking up for obvious reasons, not that Harry cared because Niall went and married his fucking _sister_ after all.

Having sex with Conor was nice. It was okay, but it didn’t leave him so breathless and weak that he could hardly move. The winner of that title goes to Louis, the beautiful, sweaty, panting, mess lying half on top of him because he can’t move either.

“I swear I’m going to get off of you,” he mumbles for a second time. He’s not any more convincing than he was five minutes ago.

“Stay. I don’t mind.”

Sure, Louis’ kind of heavy where he’s still mostly lying between Harry’s legs, but his weight isn’t uncomfortable. Louis ended up there after he reached down between them to tie off his condom and aim it in the vicinity of the bin and didn’t get much further than that. He’s pretty hot and sticky right now, but so is Harry, so he can’t really judge. If they’re going to be disgusting and covered in bodily fluids then they might as well be obnoxious and lie in their filth together. It’s only right.

“No, no. I’m going to get up. Right now,” Louis says again, dropping a determined kiss to the middle of Harry’s chest. He uses his arms to push himself up from the bed, groaning when his muscles protest and leave him lying right where he is. “ _Stop_. Don’t laugh,” he whines when Harry snorts at his failed attempt.

Louis’ limbs may be pretty useless right now as he recuperates, but his mouth and his hands are still plenty motivated. Harry sucks in a quick breath when an innocent kiss that Louis presses to his chest turns painful from the hard suction of his mouth and his teeth scraping over it in retaliation of his laughter.

That’s going to leave a hell of a mark and Harry is thrilled.

Eventually Louis regains his strength, moving down his body and leaving kisses in the wake of his hands as they travel down his front. “I thought you said you were getting up,” Harry smirks when he feels the stubble on Louis’ chin scrub against his lower abs. Louis slides his tongue down the thin line of hair leading from his navel in one long streak that makes Harry arch up into it.

“Mmm…don’t want to anymore. _I changed my mind_ ,” he chuckles, reciting Harry’s own words back to him.

He takes Harry’s semi into his mouth and Harry’s throat burns in sympathy from earlier when he took Louis so far down his throat that he started tearing up. Louis isn’t having that same issue. Any burn from fitting Harry down his throat is welcomed with a deep moan that tickles Harry’s tip.

The pressure from Louis hollowing his cheeks around him is almost too much considering he just came a little while ago. It’s intense, but Harry revels in the sensation of it, gasping aloud when Louis gently slips two fingers inside of him.

He’s still slick from their first round, but Louis pops open the bottle of lube anyway; the same one that he nearly dived head-first into the bottom of his suitcase for when Harry came crashing through his door.

Every nerve ending in his body fizzles to life again when Louis finds his spot within a few seconds. Harry didn’t think he’d be up for a second round anytime soon with how spent he was, but thanks to Louis’ mouth and the wonderful assault his fingers are currently waging on him, all he wants is to ride Louis again until he can hardly think straight.

He twists out of Louis’ grip with a new fire ignited in the pit of his stomach. Harry pushes him to lie back at the foot of the bed and Louis chuckles at the desperation in his movements as he scrambles to follow.

Harry snatches a fresh condom out of the box lying on the bedside table and rolls it onto Louis himself, too impatient to deal with his teasing when he started tearing the foil as slow as humanly possible simply for the joy of hearing Harry groan about it.

When Harry sinks down onto him, he’s met with little resistance. Not like before when he had to stop for a few seconds and breathe to reacquaint his body with the feeling of being stretched open.

He watches the slow parting of Louis’ lips when he starts to move in quick little circles, Harry’s fingers so deeply anchored into his chest that he’s sure his nails are cutting the flesh. Every rotation of Harry’s hips shoots a little spark up his spine that Louis has to feel as well. He must with how vocal he’s getting from the speed of Harry’s pace.

Louis sits up on his forearms to pull Harry down for a breathless kiss that he eagerly falls into. Louis smells like him and tastes like him too, unapologetically biting into Harry’s bottom lip when he shudders on top of him from finding his own spot.

The fast rhythm that Harry has chosen starts running out of steam as his thighs tire from the exertion of trying to maintain it. His gradual decline doesn’t go unnoticed as he forces his muscles to keep working.

“I’ve got you,” Louis whispers before falling back onto the bed again. He digs his heels into the mattress and grips his hands around Harry’s hips to give himself the leverage he needs to thrust up into him and keep their momentum going.

Harry’s whole body shakes each time Louis’ thighs come up to slap against his bum. It feels amazing even though he can hardly take in a full breath as he takes it. Harry doesn’t realize his head is hung low and his eyes are squeezed shut until Louis reaches up to move his damp hair behind his ear and lift his chin.

His blue eyes, though much darker at the moment than the night that Harry first saw them, are still as beautiful and captivating as ever. They don’t move away from Harry’s face. Not even when Harry reaches down to stroke himself and comes just moments later, spilling for a second time all over Louis’ stomach and tattoos.

Louis only gives him a moment to breathe before pushing Harry onto his back to chase his own orgasm. He braces himself right over Harry with one hand gripped around the back of his neck to steady the smooth roll of his hips.

He’s still hitting Harry’s spot without even trying to, making his stomach tremble from the overstimulation. When Louis finally comes it’s with a choked-off sound in the crook of Harry’s neck that completely eclipses his own pitiful whimper when Louis’ jerky movements force one more orgasm out of him.

Once again, Louis pulls out of him to tie off the condom and toss it in the vicinity of the bin. This one actually makes it in and he celebrates with a breathless cheer for himself as he collapses right where he is.

He starts promising that he’s _really_ going to get up and clean them off this time and Harry just laughs, knowing now from experience that they’re more likely to start fucking again before Louis gets off his arse.

“ _I’ll_ go,” he says, laughing again when he wedges himself from beneath Louis and the idiot groans like Harry has somehow pained him by leaving the bed.

The room is a wreck. Louis hadn’t been exaggerating when he said he had his work cut out for him in terms of repacking all of his shit, but he doesn’t seem even slightly concerned about it now when Harry peeks back at him practically star-fished in the middle of the bed in his post-sex haze.

Harry cleans them up with one of the last clean towels left in Louis’ bathroom. They truly need a shower or twelve, but Louis doesn’t look like he’s moving again for the next decade so the towel will just have to do.

“This is so much better than the massage today,” Louis purrs as Harry gently wipes the mess off of his stomach.

Harry rolls his eyes and then winces when he comes across the row of tiny scratches and shallow cuts on Louis’ chest from his nails.

The doctor in him wants to call down to the lobby to see if the resort has something they can put on them but Louis snatches him into bed before he can reach for the phone, fondly referring to the scratches as his sex battle wounds.

Harry’s admittedly slightly overcautious concern and yet _completely fucking possible_ horror stories about infection only make Louis snigger. He’s pretty sure Louis still has a giant smile on his face when he falls asleep.

*

When Harry opens his eyes he’s slightly confused for a moment because he’s not at home in his flat and he’s not in his bungalow out on the beach either. It’s still dark wherever the hell he is, which he slowly realizes is Louis’ hotel room as his eyes adjust and he notices the warm, even breaths falling against the back of his neck.

Louis’ entire front is plastered to Harry’s back, one strong arm wrapped around his middle and the other stretched out beneath a pillow to support both of their heads. They didn’t fall asleep like that. They each had their own pillow on their own side of the bed, but obviously neither of them could stay put.

Sleeping like this has to be uncomfortable for Louis who’s holding the brunt of their weight. The arm that they’re cuddling on top of probably feels like lead at this point, so Harry tries to shift into another position, finding that he can’t go very far due to the tight hold Louis has on him in his sleep.

Gently, Harry tries to lift the arm around his waist, accidentally waking Louis up in the process. He breathes in deep, his long exhale getting caught in Harry’s curls at the back of his neck as his arm curls around him even tighter to keep him there.

“Sneaking out on me?” comes a raspy voice from right behind his ear.

“No. Just didn’t want to hurt you,” Harry explains, clearing his throat when his voice comes out just as heavy and sleep ridden.

He feels Louis smile against his skin before he starts kissing every inch of it that his mouth can reach.

“You are definitely not hurting me, babe.” Louis pulls his right arm from beneath their pillow so he can wrap Harry up completely, tangling their fingers together over his stomach. He fits them together so that there’s no space between them while Louis’ mouth continues exploring his neck and shoulders. Harry’s body responds in an instant to all of the attention, his skin heating up and his stomach fluttering to life again when Louis sucks a bruise into the side of his neck.

Harry has had enough orgasms tonight to last him all year, but he’s still hardening up again just like Louis is where his hips and erection are flush to Harry’s bum.

He pushes back onto Louis when he’s so hard that he can’t stay still any longer. Louis groans in his ear at the sudden pressure, his hand flying from where it was holding Harry’s stomach to squeeze his left hip to keep him still. That reaction is desperate and hot enough to encourage Harry to push back onto him again, groaning himself this time when Louis bucks his hips against him to chase the friction.

They move like that together under the sheets, each of them slowly teasing the other until it’s too much. The weight of Harry’s erection is almost painful by the time Louis whispers in his ear to pass him a condom.

Harry’s arm shoots out faster than he even thought possible to grab a new one out of the box that they’ve made quite the dent in considering the amount of time they’ve been in this room. Harry’s fingers feel around the inside of the little box, growing more impatient and annoyed the longer he holds his arm out only feeling cardboard. He snatches the box onto the bed with them so he can have a proper look.

He groans aloud a few seconds later and not even the good kind when he comes up empty-handed yet again.

This can’t be happening.

“What?” Louis pants in his ear, still rocking his hips into him. He stops when Harry doesn’t immediately answer him. “Harry? What’s the matter?”

So much.

“We used them all,” he laments, certain he can hear Louis’ heart breaking inside of his chest too when he buries his face between Harry’s shoulder blades.

“ _Fuck_. Are you serious?” he asks, like Harry would joke about something like this.

“You don’t have anymore? Another box hidden away somewhere?” he asks. At this point he doesn’t care where Louis conjures up another condom for them as long as he finds one and fast. He’s so hard right now that even the sheets brushing against his tip makes him want to cry.

“No, that’s all I brought,” Louis shakes his head against him. “You don’t have any in your bungalow?”

Harry thinks he may have seen a couple thrown in with his other toiletries that Gemma packed for him but he can’t be certain. And even if he was, it’s not like either of them is in any condition to go after them.  

He tells Louis that he doesn’t have any either and the reality of his words feel like a death sentence. It’s dead quiet now, neither of them saying anything until Louis clears his throat behind him.

“We could just call it a night,” he says in a surprisingly composed voice. “Or, we could try it without one and just be really careful. But, only if you’re comfortable,” he rushes to say when Harry stiffens at the suggestion. “We don’t have to.”

Under normal circumstances, Harry wouldn’t _want_ to. He probably wouldn’t even consider it, but it’s late and he’s aching and this is Louis who’s asking him to do this.

He’s never given Harry a reason to distrust him before. Obviously they haven’t known each other for very long, but Harry feels completely safe with him all the same. Trying it without a condom _with Louis_ doesn’t seem like such a reckless idea when he thinks about it that way.

Harry turns around in Louis’ arms to face him. He can’t make out much besides his eyes, but that’s okay because those are exactly what Harry wanted to stare into.

“When’s the last time that you…?”

“My ex, three or four months ago. He was cheating, so I got tested after we broke up and I’m fine,” he answers with confidence. “I swear this isn’t something that I usually do. We were together for over six months that’s the only reason we weren’t using protection,” he says, in case Harry is judging. Which, he isn’t of course. Harry has no room to judge anybody else’s sex life or failed relationship when he hasn’t even been on a real date since before medical school.

“Me too. I was tested after the last time even with a condom.” He and Conor used protection but they were also really drunk. Harry didn’t want to chance it. “If we do this, you’ll be careful?” he checks, hoping he’s asking all the right questions in this situation. Like Louis, this isn’t something that Harry usually does. He doesn’t have time for sex in general these days let alone negotiate when someone is going to pull out of him.

“I will,” he promises. “I won’t even get close, love. I’ve got you.”

Louis has been saying that to him all night and it’s been the absolute truth. Harry doesn’t doubt him now either when he leans forward to kiss him.

Harry still can’t see much with the lights off, but he doesn’t really need to. He catches small flashes of Louis’ golden skin as he positions Harry back onto his side, curls his arm around him again, and resumes grinding his hips into him like they never even stopped.

A hand slides down between them to press an experimental finger inside of him after a few minutes of getting them both worked back up. Harry could’ve told him that he didn’t need to be fingered open. He’s still sore from the other two times, though it’s a good, tender kind of sore that Harry doesn’t regret in the slightest.

Harry passes the bottle of lube over his shoulder when Louis asks for it. He braces himself for the shock of the cool liquid against his skin, but it doesn’t come. Louis pours it into his palm and slicks himself up instead, pressing a line of kisses down Harry’s neck. Louis lines himself up and pushes inside in one swift motion that temporarily leaves Harry’s lungs void of air.

He sucks in a shaky breath when Louis pulls his hips back only to smoothly push back in with a ragged breath of his own that catches in his throat.

The pace that he chooses is much slower than any other time that they’ve done this tonight and yet Harry’s heart is still pounding in his chest. He feels Louis everywhere; his hands mapping out any stretch of skin they can find and his dick where it’s easing into his body, breaking Harry down from within with his deliberate thrusts just shy of hitting his spot dead-on. Harry pushes back onto him when he does manage to hit it, his stomach tensing up from the wave of pleasure that washes over him, snatching the air right out of his lungs.

Harry reaches down to stroke himself to Louis’ slow rhythm, shuddering when Louis bites at his earlobe and whispers how good he feels, leaving his skin moist from his words. He has to stop moving his hand around himself as he listens, fearful that a few more tugs and another raspy declaration such as that will send him over the edge.

He’s so close already. He was practically ready to burst before they even started and now it’s like walking a tightrope trying to keep himself from spilling. Louis must feel how tense he’s gotten in his efforts to hold out because he moves his hand away from where it was resting against Harry’s stomach to jerk him off.

Harry comes so hard that he lurches in on himself with every new wave that hits him. Louis pulls out when he goes still and all Harry’s brain registers are Louis’ hot breaths on his skin and the bed shaking as he quickly jerks himself off. The last thing he hears is the string of swears Louis lets out as he comes all over the back of Harry’s thighs and bum.

Louis flops over onto his back to catch his breath when he’s empty and Harry immediately moves to curl up next to him. Apparently he isn’t close enough though because Louis pulls him to lie down on his chest, walking his fingers up and down Harry’s spine as he comes down.

Neither of them promises to get up this time. They don’t even attempt to move anywhere except closer together so Harry can lean down and kiss him hard and deep the way that he wants.

*

The sun is shining bright in his face when the sound of a door unlatching and a sweet voice yelling housekeeping startles him awake. The first thing he does is sit up to try and wake Louis who, strangely enough, isn’t there beside him. His brain doesn’t get to process that for very long before the maid is pushing open the door.

She takes one look at Harry completely naked on top of the covers and her wide, apologetic eyes immediately shoot to the floor. Harry reaches down to pull the top sheet over his bottom half, wishing he had been fast enough to do that _before_ she walked in.

“I am _so_ sorry,” she says already turning to run back out. “I’m early, but I thought all guests had checked out of this room. I’m so sorry, sir.”

Harry glances at the clock on Louis’ bedside table. His flight left at nine. It’s currently nine-fifty-two.

“No, they have checked out. Or, _he_ has,” Harry says, correcting himself when he glances around and finds all of Louis’ things gone. “My room is out on the beach. I was just visiting.” And now he’s just leaving since he’s clearly overstayed his welcome.

He asks the woman for a few minutes to get dressed. She practically flies out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Harry sighs and flops backward onto the mattress wondering how Louis managed to sneak out with Harry right here in the same room. He didn’t hear a thing.

Besides a little disappointed that he didn’t get to say goodbye, Harry is also exhausted. He sighs again instead getting up to get dressed like he promised. He rolls over into the space that Louis would probably still be lying in if he were here, frowning when the perfumed scent of flowers fills his lungs.

These sheets are disgusting. The only thing Harry should really be smelling off of them is his and Louis’ combined body sweat from last night which is why Harry gasps, opening his eyes to find a fresh purple lei beside him. There’s a tourist pamphlet for the surf school lying next to it that someone has scribbled on. Harry snatches it up, a grin already tugging at his lips after reading the first two lines.

_‘I couldn’t decide whether or not to wake you, but you look so peaceful right now that I’m letting you sleep in. Lucky bastard._

_Hawaii has been so incredible thanks mainly in part to you. I’ve seriously thought about changing my flight about fifty times this morning just so I can hang out with you some more, but I think we can both agree that I’ve interrupted your relaxing holiday enough as it is._

_I just got this beautiful lei from the concierge downstairs, but I’ve got about a million of them now so I’m leaving it for you. Thank you for everything including last night. Insert clever lei/sex joke here. Get some rest and take care of yourself, Harry, and don’t forget to have fun with the days you have left here!_

_All the best and Aloha,_

_LouisXx’_

Harry received a giant lei just like this on his first night here. It’s currently drying out on his day bed in his bungalow. He never cared very much about it, thinking it was more itchy than welcoming, but he cares about this one.

He gets out of bed to grab his clothes that were once tangled up with Louis’ on the floor but are now neatly folded at the foot of the bed. He pulls on his outfit from the night before, finishing it off with Louis’ purple lei that doesn’t really match anything he’s wearing but he doesn’t care.

When he steps out into the corridor he apologizes profusely to the woman who got an unexpected eyeful when she woke him up and practically floats down to the beach with his personalized surf pamphlet clutched tight in his hand.

The first thing he does when he gets to his bungalow is strip and head straight for the shower. He carefully places his lei on his bedside table, already dreading the day that its blooms wither.

Once he’s out and clean again, Harry flops down on his bed.

Louis has been such an integral part of his life here that he doesn’t really know what to do with himself without him. More sleep could be nice but it would also waste a large portion of his day. He should go out and do things; enjoy the island and have fun like Louis said, but Harry has never been good at that kind of thing alone.

After nearly twenty minutes of contemplation, he chooses surfing. He’s awful at it and he’s still very afraid of sharks, but he enjoyed being out in the waves when Louis was teaching him. He’s not here anymore of course, but that doesn’t mean Harry won’t have fun trying it out a second time.

It’s a bad as Harry predicted it would be when he tries to pop up on his board out on the water. His body seems to have already forgotten how to do it, but he relearns the move pretty quickly. He doesn’t start catching big waves like a pro after he figures it out like Louis said, but he does manage to not fall face-first into the water quite as often as he did yesterday.

The rest of his holiday is spent exploring different parts of the island that Louis told him he just _had_ to visit like the giant water fall in the botanical forest and the Volcanoes National Park where the sunsets are even more beautiful than they are out on the water.

He spends his last full day on the beach at one of the peaceful coves he and Louis saw on their van tour. His tan isn’t quite as even or as golden as Louis’ but he doesn’t burn like he suspected either so all in all, it’s a good day.

He packs his things on his last night, hardly believing the week flew by so quickly. He had been dreading this trip the moment he found out he was set to go on it. Had he realized how much fun he was going to have and how much he needed it he would’ve asked for two weeks off instead of just one. With any luck, maybe he’ll get to come back again one day.

His flight out is just as bad as his flight in with multiple screaming babies and loud conversations going on, but this time, Harry doesn’t pay the noise any attention. He can’t remember why he felt so grumpy before. Probably due to the fact that he hadn’t been sleeping, but he feels better now; lighter somehow and he knows that he has more than just Hawaii to thank for that.

When he gets home he unpacks his clothes to put in the laundry bin and puts away everything else. He pauses and grins when he comes to the wilting purple lei that he just couldn’t leave behind. He takes it out of the plastic bag that he kept it in to preserve it during his flight even though it should probably go in the garbage at this point. He hangs it on the corner of his head board anyway along with the bright pink lei he got when he checked out, though he prefers the one that Louis gave him.

Harry knows he won’t be back in Hawaii anytime soon, maybe even never again, but that doesn’t mean he can’t keep a piece of it in his flat to remind him of how beautiful it was.

*

Contrary to what he had assumed would happen in his absence, the hospital is still standing and his pediatric unit is running smoothly. Work feels the same as it has every day of the past two years when he arrives but everybody he comes into contact with swear there’s something different about him.

“Oh, Haz, you look so well rested!” Gemma nearly cries when she and Niall sneak down from their floors to come see him and welcome him back. “You had fun, right? Even though you hated it at first, it got better?” she asks hopefully.

She seems surprised when Harry smiles at her compliment and questions and wraps her in a tight hug. His sister does so much for him. She always wants to make sure he’s okay, going as far as booking him an entire holiday because he’s so stubborn. He never remembers to say the one thing that he ought to, so he makes sure to tell her now.

“Thank you, Gems, and I love you so much.”

She pulls back from their hug and gives him a bewildered look. “Oh, God. You hated it so much that you actually started to _miss_ me?”

“No, not at all,” Harry laughs. “I had an amazing time. It was perfect and I just want you to know that I appreciate everything that you did. All that you _do_ ,” he corrects, “And I’m also going to try harder so you don’t have to worry about me so much.”

Gemma glances back at her husband with a baffled, amused expression that just makes him shrug in confusion.

“It was probably the sun. Too much of it at once does things to you.” Niall smirks, giving Harry’s hard-earned tan a quick glance-over.

Harry rolls his eyes. He breaks away from his sister to pull Niall into a crushing hug even though he kind of just wants to slap him for being an annoying twat. Things may be a little different after his trip, but _that_ certainly hasn’t changed.


	2. Part Two

Seven Weeks Later

“You’re seriously not going to warm that up? Not even a little bit?”

Niall glances up from his cold slice of pizza with nonchalance. “It’s good this way. It tastes the same,” he shrugs.

And, _no_. It definitely does not.

Harry watches as he takes a large bite out of it, making a face mostly because of the barbaric way Niall’s chewing and partly because the pepperoni and ham smell funny to him.

“You’re _sure_ there’s nothing wrong with that? How long has it been up here?”

“I don’t know. A couple of hours?” Niall shrugs again. He gives the pizza another sniff and then looks at Harry like he’s an idiot. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with this pizza. In fact, it’s more than fine. I; Niall James Horan, the supervisor of this entire fucking lab, says so.”

Harry scoffs at his declaration. Niall may be a fucking scientist and the smartest person he knows, but Harry still begs to differ about those toppings. He can’t believe Niall doesn’t smell what he’s smelling.

“Why are you so focused on _my_ lunch anyway. Where’s yours?”

Now it’s Harry’s turn to shrug. He had gone down to the cafeteria before coming up here, but he didn’t buy anything. He’s never been a big fan of the food here, but lately just being down there makes Harry’s stomach feel weird.

“Eh. I wasn’t really hungry. My stomach feels off.”

“ _Again?_ ” Niall asks incredulously. “Do you think you’re getting sick? The flu is going around different departments.”

God, Harry doesn’t want to catch it. He’s been doing pretty well with keeping his promise to try harder with taking care of himself. He still doesn’t have the time during the day to sit down and eat three square meals a day, but he does eat at least two; or at least, he _was_ up until sometime last week.

Maybe he _is_ getting sick. A couple of the pediatric nurses just got over the flu a couple of weeks ago. It’s possible that it’s still going around like Niall said, but he really hopes not.

“I’m going to go,” Harry announces when Niall takes out another slice of pizza and the smell that fills the room just doesn’t sit right with him.

“Okay, bye. You should make an appointment to go see someone. It couldn’t hurt,” Niall says. A suggestion that Harry pays no mind. Harry basically treats himself whenever he gets sick. What was the point of him going to medical school all those years if he can’t even cure himself of a bad cold?

“Yeah, maybe. I’ll think about it,” Harry lies before getting the hell out of Niall’s office and away from his lunch.

He leaves the sixth floor and heads down to his office to get back to work. He has a pre-op in an hour and a follow-up for an Appendectomy he performed earlier in the week right after that. There are several things that he needs to be doing when he sits down at his desk, but even with all of his determination and willingness to get them done he leans his head back and lets his eyes slide closed for a moment.

Ever since Hawaii, Harry has been making a real effort to get more rest at night when he goes home and it worked for a little while. He didn’t feel as well rested as he did on the island of course, but he didn’t feel like a zombie either. Not like he does now at random points during the day that force him to take a break just so his mind and body can recharge.

He only gives himself a couple of minutes of resting his eyes to get his shit together before getting back to work. His sofa against the wall of his office is practically calling his name, but he ignores the urge to go lie down on it. He can sleep once he gets home.

*

It’s a week later when Harry starts to question whether or not he really is sick when he’s in the middle of a procedure and the sight of blood rushing from an incision makes his stomach roll.

His hand flies up to his mouth and his nurses all look at him like he’s losing his mind because no one in the room has _ever_ been squeamish, especially not him. Having a robust stomach is kind of a prerequisite for this job. Looking at blood and guts without so much as blinking is literally what he’s paid to do all day.

He has to alternate taking steady breaths with sometimes not even breathing at all for the remainder of the procedure to get everyone to stop shooting him worried glances. When he’s all done and his patient is stitched up he bolts out of the surgical unit as fast as his legs can carry him and lies down on his office sofa until the nausea passes.

He doesn’t even realize that he drifted off until he opens his eyes to find Gemma standing over him. Harry sighs and turns over onto his side, thankful when his stomach doesn’t roll with him.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“Looks like you found me,” he mutters, still so tired even though he just woke up. He can’t remember the last time he actually slept in here. Probably never.

“Yeah, you’re in here instead of gallivanting around the hospital or hiding out in the play room,” she says with concern visible in her face as she places the back of her hand against his cheek and forehead to gauge his temperature. “Are you okay, love?”

No. Harry hasn’t felt okay for a long time. He’s restless and he gets frustrated a lot about tiny things that never bothered him before. Harry is also tired in a way that he’s never really experienced. Technically, he just got back from a holiday, but maybe it’s time for another one already.

“Yeah, Gems. I feel fine,” Harry says, because for the moment, he does.

Gemma side-eyes him like she isn’t buying it, but sighs in defeat a minute later when she can’t find anything physically wrong with him.

“Well, your head feels fine, I guess. You’re not warm.”

“That’s because I _am_ fine,” Harry smirks. “Stop worrying.”

“You’re my little brother,” she quips, fondly tugging on a lock of his hair. “As annoying as you are, it’s my job to worry about you,” she says just as she’s paged over the speaker system to go back to her own floor of the hospital in the women’s ward.

“Go home after your rounds tonight. I mean it, Haz. And I’m coming by later on to drop off some soup just in case you do start feeling bad so don’t buy or cook anything.”

“No, don’t. You brought food over a few days ago. I told you, you don’t have to keep doing that. Stay home with Niall tonight. I can get soup if I need some.”

His sister stares at him for a moment, skeptical when he sits up to show her just how capable and fine he’s feeling.

“Fine. I’ll leave you alone, but only because I _want_ to, not because you told me to. And you better get home at a decent hour tonight, or else,” she warns before rushing back upstairs.

Harry didn’t even need Gemma’s blatant threat because as soon as he finishes seeing his last patient for the night he drags himself out of the building and down to his car.

He slightly regrets asking his sister to not come by once he gets home and realizes everything in his refrigerator is at least three days old. He’s too tired to make anything that requires him using the stove so he heats up some leftover pasta that still looks okay.

Crawling into his bed has become the best part of his whole day. He has fantasized about it almost every day the last few weeks, but it feels like heaven tonight especially. The work that he brought home with him to finish stays where it is inside of his bag. Harry doesn’t give it or his laptop a second thought before letting his eyes slide shut.

*

Harry jerks awake in his sunlit bedroom that is much too bright for the time of morning that he usually wakes up. He stumbles out of bed, swearing at his phone and the alarm that he forgot to set because he should’ve been up forty minutes ago.

He doesn’t have time for a shower or any other part of his typical morning routine. He quickly changes his clothes and grabs his things to run out the door, his stomach growling loud and impatient just as he reaches for the door handle.

There’s no way he can stop for food on the way to the hospital with how late he’s running. All that he has in his kitchen are more leftovers so he grabs the first container he sees in his refrigerator and sticks it in the microwave for sixty seconds.

It’s baked chicken, which wouldn’t ordinarily be his first choice for breakfast but it’s food and it’s edible so he won’t complain. He scarfs a few bites of it down along with a swig of orange juice that mostly makes it into his mouth before he rushes out.

Harry has never been late to his morning rounds a day in his life. That’s probably why everyone looks at him like he’s losing it again when he comes crashing into the pediatric unit looking like a frazzled mess.

“I’m so, so sorry I’m late,” Harry apologizes to the nurse sitting behind the desk who just blinks at him as she hands him his tablet. He starts scrolling through it immediately, mentally swearing to himself because they got two new patients overnight while Aiden was here. He is not prepared for this today.

“It’s okay, Dr. Styles,” she laughs. “You’re the physician which means you’re kind of the boss around here. It’s not like your patients can leave without seeing you.”

Harry appreciates her trying to make him feel better about his life falling apart around him, but it doesn’t help. He had things so under control. He was doing so much better at keeping his personal life balanced and now that’s shot to hell and he’s fucking things up at work on top of that. He had to _flee_ the operating room yesterday like it was his first day on the fucking job. He doesn’t know what’s going on with himself, but he has to get it together.

“I know, but still. It won’t happen again,” Harry promises even though he really doesn’t owe her anything. But he needs her to know that he’s trying.

He starts every one of his visits with a heartfelt apology to his patients and then to their parents for making them wait. Everybody says the same thing as the nurse at the desk assuring him that it’s fine, but it’s not fine to him. He’s never been one to slack off at work and he refuses to start now.

To make up for the fact that he wasted almost a full hour sleeping in this morning, Harry throws himself into all of the reading he was supposed to finish at home last night before he let sleep take over once again. It won’t happen today though. He forces himself to stay awake and alert all afternoon, prepping for a procedure he’ll have to perform first thing tomorrow morning.

He works right through his lunch break until his weekly scheduled meeting with Admin and the other pediatric physicians in the building, not even stopping to go annoy Niall like he usually does.

The uneasiness in his stomach starts to come back after his meeting. He’s just on the way to his pre-op appointment when a brutal wave of nausea hits him. The first thing that comes to mind is the chicken he ate this morning without even checking to make sure that it was still fresh. He has no idea how long it had been sitting in his refrigerator, but based on the way he’s feeling right now, it must have been for more than just a couple of days.

He ends up being late to his pre-op appointment because he needed a minute in his office to get his stomach settled, but the nausea hits him again while he’s in the room with his patient. Harry’s stomach churns the whole time he’s making up excuses to his assisting nurse to suddenly leave the room.

She blinks at him with the same wide, worried eyes as everybody else has been lately when he bolts out the door without another word.

There’s a bathroom at the end of the corridor that he starts sprinting towards. He’s relieved to find it empty, throwing the lock behind him just in time to crouch down over the toilet to be sick.

Harry sits against the wall hugging his stomach until he feels strong enough to stand up again. He cleans himself up the best that he can and then flushes everything down the toilet. He doesn’t go back to his appointment when he leaves, carefully making his way back to his office, using the wall as a means to steady himself. Several nurses and other doctors offer him bright hello’s upon seeing him that quickly turn to expressions of pity and sympathy when they notice how awful he looks.

‘ _It must still be going around_ ’ and ‘ _feel better soon_ ’ are the two things he hears the most. Harry assumes they mean the flu must still be going around, but this doesn’t feel like any virus that he’s ever heard of. His symptoms come and go and he’s not even running a fever or feeling sniffly; he just feels like shit all the time.

By the time he makes it to his office, his stomach feels a bit better but he’s light-headed and weak as he fights with his key to unlock his door. Someone is calling his name as he anxiously jiggles the handle to be let inside, but he ignores them.

He doesn’t want to talk to anybody right now. All he wants is to lie down on his sofa and not feel like he’s dying but his legs give out beneath him before he can get there.

*

Harry knows without a doubt that he isn’t in his bed at home when he opens his eyes to the harsh fluorescent lights above him. They’re a little disorienting at first, casting everything in a hazy glow. There’s a warm hand stroking his hair back from his forehead which he realizes belongs to his sister once he tilts his head enough to see her standing next to him.

More details jump out at him when he sits up. Like the fact that he isn’t in his office where he meant to end up. He’s not even on his floor of the hospital which is what’s most concerning. He’s in the women’s ward where Gemma works in an examination room covered in informational posters about fetal development.

There are other people in the room besides Gemma. Niall is there too along with Dr. Lou Teasdale whom Harry rarely sees unless he comes up here to find his sister, or in instances when Dr. Teasdale comes to the pediatric surgical unit looking for Gemma, who is usually looking for him. It’s eerie the way they’re all just staring at him with these nervous expressions.

“How did I get up here?”

Gemma moves some of his hair behind his ear, still lightly petting him in the way she only does when he’s upset. “What do you remember?”

Harry squeezes his eyes shut to replay the last thing that happened. All he can recall is wanting to lie down. His office was the best option for making that happen, so naturally, he was trying to go there.

Clearly, he wasn’t very successful.

“I fainted?”

His sister nods at his guess. “Yeah, you did. You really scared us all,” she says, now squeezing his hand. “We’re lucky Aiden was close by. He forgot something in his office and saw you looking unsteady on your feet when he came back to get it. We’re just glad you’re okay and that he was there.”

Aiden _would_ appear just in the nick of time to save the bloody day. He’ll probably ask Harry to pay him back with dinner in the cafeteria again or just flat-out ask to fuck him like he’s been aching to do for the past two years. _That’s_ sure as hell not happening.

The looks of sympathy he’s receiving around the room are too much for him. He fainted, and yes, that’s kind of a scary thing, but he isn’t fucking dying. Everyone is being extremely weird and Harry doesn’t think he’s making it up.

“Why do I feel like there’s something you’re all not telling me?” he asks when everybody goes back to watching him like he’s a ticking time bomb.

“Is there something that you’re not telling _us_?”

Harry glances over at his best friend who blinks at Harry expectantly. Harry isn’t keeping anything from anybody. “Um, no?” he answers.

Everybody in the room exchanges glances over his head like Harry’s not sitting right there watching them do it.

“It’s interesting you should say that,” Niall pipes up again. He grabs the stack of papers from the shelf nearest him and crosses the room. “So, we ran some blood work while you were out cold. You fainted because your blood sugar is low.”

“Which means you haven’t been _eating_ enough,” Gemma grumbles with a death glare at him. She certainly isn’t stroking his hair like he’s dying anymore.

“Alright, then. I’ll get something to eat, I guess. Problem solved,” he shrugs since skipping lunch every now and then is a capital crime around here.

“You do need to put something in your stomach at some point. Gems got you a sandwich from downstairs, but there’s more than just your blood sugar,” Niall sighs. “Almost everything else from your blood test was normal _except_ the presence of the hormone hCG.”

Niall says it with an almost somber tone that makes Harry wonder if he really is dying.

Harry clears his throat, receiving the news with a straight face. “Okay…” Harry says carefully. “And what is that?”

Clearly nothing good.

Lou, who has been silent up until now, steps forward when Gemma and Niall exchange another nervous glance.

“It’s the hormone found in women and men who are in their first trimester of pregnancy, Harry.”

Harry glances around at everyone in the room who looks to be holding their breath as they stare at him. He meets each of their gazes with a furrowed brow and then laughs so hard that his stomach hurts all over again. The bright sound of it startles his sister whose jaw drops like she wants to punch him in the arm, but miraculously she doesn’t touch him. Maybe he is pregnant because _that_ has never happened before. She usually doesn’t think twice before resorting to violence to shut him up.

His laughter boils down to a little chuckle as he waits for everyone to drop the act and laugh with him, but it doesn’t really happen. They just keep staring at him like he’s gone mad.

Harry’s smile fades when he realizes that his sister and his friends truly think he’s pregnant. He rolls his eyes because no one in this room uses their fucking brain except for him.

“Okay, _obviously,_ it’s a mistake,” Harry tells the room. “It’s probably a typo or a glitch in the system. Just run it again.”

Harry jerks back and blinks in surprise at the fresh blood report that Niall pulls out from behind the first.

“That’s the first fucking thing we did. And I ran this second test _myself_ ,” Niall says like the fact that he did it makes it law. “The hCG is still there and you’re still pregnant.”

He really wishes Niall would stop fucking saying that. Harry snatches the papers out of his hand to review them, eyes zeroed in on the hCG misprint that has everybody losing their minds.

Everyone is still gawking at him like they’re waiting for something to happen. Harry rolls up his left arm sleeve to find a bandage there from his so-called ‘blood work’ that was clearly inconclusive, so he rolls up his other sleeve and points to the thick veins running over the inside of his elbow.

“Run it again.”

Niall scoffs at him and swats at his arm. “Haz, we’ve already ran it _twice_. The results are going to be the same. And plus, you have all the signs. You’ve been exhausted and wanting to vomit for weeks. You don’t have the flu like we thought. You’re just fucking pregnant.”

He has felt like shit and his symptoms have been all over the place. Those things may be true, but Harry doesn’t move his arm out of his face. “Run it again,” he demands, “Or I’ll do it myself.”

They have a long stare-off where Niall cracks in the end with a mumbled, “ _You don’t even know how_ ,” before he’s digging through the examination drawers for a new syringe and a pair of gloves.

Forty-five minutes later Harry starts to fear that he’ll pass out again staring down at his third- and according to Niall, _final_ \- test that still found huge amounts of hCG in his blood. Harry ate his cafeteria sandwich a few minutes ago to get his strength back up and to settle his stomach, but even so, he still thinks he’s going to be sick.

“This is bullshit. I can’t even _get_ pregnant,” he exclaims.

“Well, obviously, you can and you are,” Dr. Teasdale says like he isn’t still staring at his test results like they’re a cruel joke.

“I know that, but _how_?”

“If she has to explain that to you, we’ve got much bigger problems than you being knocked up.”

Harry can feel his blood boil when he snaps his head in Niall’s direction.

“That’s _not_ what I meant! I mean how has nobody ever noticed that I was fertile!” How did _he_ not notice it himself? He’s a _doctor_ for fuck’s sake.

“Probably because you’ve been treating yourself since you were old enough to research your own symptoms,” Gemma says. “Niall and I thought you had the flu last week and you didn’t even bother to make an appointment. No one ever examines you but _you_.”

Harry goes to the dentist every six months like he’s supposed to and sees an optometrist when he gets a reminder in his email. He gets tested after every sexual partner, but besides a few colds over the years and his allergy to pollen in the spring Harry hasn’t _needed_ anyone to examine him. He’s never been sick enough for that.

He cradles his head when it starts feeling much too heavy to keep up.

“I want to know how the hell this is happening to me.”

“Really?” Niall asks, “Because I want to know who the other father is,” he says earning yet another glare from Harry because it’s better than tackling him to the fucking ground.

Louis is the first person who came to his mind when found out he was pregnant. He hasn’t slept with anyone else besides Louis and he hasn’t wanted to. Louis; the spectacular man he met on an island thousands of miles away and will probably never fucking see again.

Gemma squeezes his shoulder in comfort and presses a kiss to his temple when he doesn’t immediately answer Niall’s question and continues cradling his head. Harry appreciates her efforts, but they don’t make him feel any better. Louis still isn’t here.

Dr. Teasdale momentarily steals the attention in the room when she kindly dismisses herself so the three of them can talk in private. Harry is thankful. He likes Lou and he appreciates everything she has done, but she has already learned more about him today than Harry ever wanted her to.

The door gently shuts behind her and Gemma takes both of Harry’s hands in hers.

“Harry, love…” she whispers after a while. “Who’s the other dad?”

Harry groans and wrenches his hands out of her grip to press the heels of his palms into his eyes. He does not want to do this right now.

“Lou says you’re around eight to ten weeks along if that helps,” she says to jog his memory.

Harry already knows _exactly_ how far along he is. He doesn’t need Lou or his stupid hormone levels to tell him that.

“Wait a minute,” Niall interjects with narrowed eyes. “You were in _Hawaii_ eight to ten weeks ago,” he points out like he’s the only one in the room who can fucking count.

“ _Yes_ , I was in Hawaii,” Harry confirms through gritted teeth.

“You hooked up with a random in Hawaii and you didn’t tell me?” Niall says with a scandalized expression. Harry swears he’s going to punch him.

“He wasn’t a random!” Harry shouts, forcing himself to take several deep breaths in order to calm himself down. “His name was Louis and we met on the island. We were staying at the same resort.” And Harry really liked him.

Harry hasn’t told anyone about him; it wasn’t just Niall. He was going to mention him after a couple of days of being back, but Harry kind of liked keeping Louis as his happy little secret. Louis made Hawaii better than he could’ve ever imagined even without the sex. He didn’t want other people’s opinions weighing in on it. Or for someone to call him a random.

“Okay, you both need to calm down,” Gemma says, shooting Niall a glare of her own so he’ll stop upsetting him. “So, you slept with Louis a couple of months ago,” Gemma repeats, almost like she’s testing the name out with how carefully she says it. “…And he’s the only one? Even _after_ you got back? …I mean, I know you _say_ you’ve never been interested in Aiden, but-”

Harry turns his icy gaze on her next, daring her to even think about finishing that sentence.

“ _Louis_ is the father. That’s it. End of story.”

Gemma scoffs at him like her question was completely valid. “I’m not _judging_. This is a lot to fucking take in. I’m just trying to make sense of what happened.”

Harry sums it up for her real quick.

“I think it’s pretty obvious what happened. Louis and I met and at some point we had sex.”

“Apparently _without_ using protection,” Niall mumbles.

Except they _did_. For the most part anyway. That’s what Harry doesn’t understand about this whole situation. “We used condoms and the one time that we didn’t we were careful.”

The memory of Louis coming all over the back of his thighs is still shockingly clear in his mind. Harry thinks about that glorious moment at least ten times a day. He’ll never fucking forget it.

“That’s your answer right there,” Niall says matter-of-factly. “Condoms are pretty damn effective. Pulling out can be too, but it doesn’t always work. Pre-cum can contain sperm sometimes. Everybody knows that. It’s a rookie mistake,” he shrugs.

What Niall’s saying is mostly true he reckons. On some level Harry knows that. He just didn’t think it was applicable to him and his sex life since he wasn’t planning on being pregnant _ever_.

“What are you thinking about?” Gemma asks when Harry cradles his head again from the throbbing pressure behind his eyes. “What are you going to do?”

His sister’s questions only make him press the heels of his palms into his eyes again because he has no fucking clue. He works sixty hours a week and can barely take care of himself. He can’t be a fucking father.

“I want a second opinion.”

“You mean a fourth?” Gemma asks, glancing down at the three blood tests that all say the exact same thing. And, _yes,_ Harry needs a fourth. He’ll probably need a billion before he can believe that he’s actually fucking pregnant.

*

Harry sits up straighter on his examination table two days later when Dr. Payne comes back into the room thumbing through a stack of papers fresh from the printer.

“Well, you’re definitely pregnant. Your blood test, urine sample, and ultrasound all confirm that there is indeed a baby growing in there. Congrats,” he kindly offers, completely shattering Harry’s world. He knew it was a longshot when he set up this appointment, but he was kind of hoping that the equipment in this doctor’s office would actually tell the truth unlike the dumb equipment at the hospital and the six at-home pregnancy tests he’s taken himself.

“ _Fuck_.”

Harry doesn’t mean to swear in his office, but he can’t help it. He was hoping against hope that this was all just some huge misunderstanding, but it’s hard to argue with the digital picture of his growing baby that Dr. Payne just put in his hands.

This isn’t what Harry wanted at all. He didn’t even want to go to fucking Hawaii in the first place. He probably should’ve never gotten on that plane, but even with how messed up things have turned out, he can’t bring himself to actually regret it. He met Louis there. And had one of the best weeks of his life. He also got pregnant there, so that sucks, but that doesn’t make him think any less of the time he and Louis spent together. With that being said, this situation still isn’t ideal. He can’t be a single dad. He probably couldn’t even be a dad who’s in a relationship because he doesn’t know how. He doesn’t even have time for himself. His sister does enough as it is without also having to play co-parent for a child he didn’t mean to have.

Dr. Payne glances over at him completely freaking out on the examination table and the small grin he had been wearing disappears. He replaces it with a more serious expression, coming over to stand next to him.

“Harry, would you like to discuss your options?”

 _No_. Harry wants to fucking wake up. He’s been wishing for that to happen for the past two days, but so far he’s still living in this nightmare.

“I can’t terminate the pregnancy,” Dr. Payne continues. “It’s a risky procedure for everyone, but especially for men. I’d have to refer you to another specialist.”

Harry was already referred here to Dr. Payne because Lou didn’t feel comfortable seeing him. It would’ve been too weird since they know each other personally and then there’s the fact that she’s never really dealt with a male pregnancy before. Apparently not many obstetricians have. Dr. Payne has only ever handled five cases in his whole career but he agreed to see Harry. His complete desperation over the phone must’ve done the trick.

Dr. Payne rests his hand on his shoulder and Harry feels like the whole universe is caving in on him. “May I ask about the other father for a moment?” he asks quietly. “Is he in the picture at all?”

“His name is Louis,” Harry offers, “And no, he isn’t around because he doesn’t know. We met abroad.” He leaves out the part where they spent Louis’ last night in Hawaii wrapped up together in his hotel room and didn’t even exchange phone numbers because they knew what they had was a one-time thing born out of convenience. Harry doesn’t know where Louis lives and he has no idea how to start trying to find him. He doesn’t even have a last name.

Harry meets Dr. Payne’s understanding gaze and non-judgmental smile. “Well, I don’t know Louis, but I think he’d like to know what’s going on no matter what you decide, Harry. You shouldn’t have to go through any of this on your own,” he says with a warm set of brown eyes that force Harry’s chest and throat to tighten when he squeezes his shoulder.

*

Harry leaves his appointment with all of his new test results that still say the same fucking thing as all of the other ones.

He has an appointment to come back next Tuesday as well as the number to specialist Dr. Joy Harding if that’s the route he wants to go instead. Dr. Payne also gave him a folder full of things to read about being in his first trimester including tips on how to help cut the nausea from his morning sickness until he decides what he’s going to do.

The drive back to his flat is a long one. He flops down on his bed when he gets home, exhausted even though all he did today was sit in a room to be poked and prodded. A nap would be splendid right now, but his restless mind won’t let him sleep.

He takes out the picture from his ultrasound after a while of just lying there and stares at the little nugget barely even the size of his thumb that Dr. Payne claims is his baby. The last few days have been the craziest of his entire life. He can’t believe something so small could cause so much trouble.

Dr. Payne had looked a little crestfallen when he asked Harry if he wanted to hear the heartbeat. Harry didn’t say no; he just said maybe later, which apparently isn’t the reaction that most pregnant men and women have once they realize they’re carrying a life inside of them; that’s a sign right there that Harry shouldn’t be.

The ultrasound picture goes back inside the folder with the rest of his things once that thick, heavy feeling in his throat starts to come back.

His eyes fall to the corner of his headboard where his bright purple lei used to hang before it got so brittle and old that Harry had no choice but to throw it out. He misses it which doesn’t make him feel half as pathetic as he does by missing Louis; a man who’s out there in the world somewhere right now, probably as happy and carefree as Harry remembers him. Harry kept that stupid lei for so long because he just wanted something to remember him by. He didn’t realize he had unknowingly taken a whole piece of Louis back with him to London.

Whenever Louis’ name is mentioned, everyone bites their tongue about what they so obviously think Harry’s next logical step in this should be. If he ever saw Louis again he wanted it to be because they were meant to be and fate intervened. Not because they fucked up. They all want him to actively search for Louis, and considering he’s the father of his child, Harry should want to find him. And he does, just not like this.

Harry doesn’t realize that he’s crying until he feels hot tears slipping down his face. He reaches for the phone to call his sister, changing his mind half-way through pulling up her contact. She and Niall have been talking him through this whole mess since it began. He doesn’t want to unload even more of his shit onto her so he calls the only other person in his life who knows that he’s pregnant and who is also biologically obligated to love him no matter what stupid choices he makes.

His mother picks up on the third ring and seems to know that he’s upset the moment she greets him with a bright hello and Harry takes too long to say it back.

“Harry, what’s wrong?”

 _So much that he can’t even begin to put it all into words_. “There’s no way I can do this,” he chokes out once he’s able to take a full breath, feeling like he’s drowning in all the different things going on inside of his head.

This wasn’t the way he saw his life going. Louis wasn’t wrong that night when he said Harry sacrifices a lot for his job. Most people in his field are just as single and overworked as he is. They know better than to hope for a normal relationship with someone let alone a family and a marriage that doesn’t end in divorce. Aiden is almost forty with no kids at all and he’s never been serious with anybody. The old surgeon that Harry replaced had kids and a wife, but everyone knows he was one of the rare lucky ones.

Harry loves children. His entire career revolves around them but he’s always known that his patients would have to be enough. As much as he and Niall banter about it, Harry has actually been looking forward to the day that he and Gemma start a family. He was content to just be Uncle Harry forever because he figured no one would ever call him dad. Now all Harry can picture is himself alone with a baby who deserves so much more than one father who’s never home and another father who doesn’t even know he or she exists.

“I’m so scared,” he whispers.

It’s the first time he’s said that out loud even though he’s been feeling it since day one, but his mother makes him feel like that’s a totally normal reaction to have.

“Baby, it’s more than okay to be scared. But even if you are, you have nothing to worry about because you’re the strongest person I know. You’re going to be just fine,” his mother tells him.

Harry isn’t so sure about that. All he has felt like doing lately is crying even though it’s not going to change or solve anything. He feels better having let it all out though. He still feels like he’s drowning, but at least now his head is slightly above water.

“What made you so upset today, love? What happened?” his mother asks once his crying simmers down to a few quiet sniffles into the phone.

Harry doesn’t know what made him feel quite so overwhelmed just now; probably the appointment he just left, or the fact that he’s missing half a day of work right now to wallow in bed, or the fact that Louis still isn’t here. All of it really.

“I don’t know. I had an ultrasound today,” he shrugs even though she can’t see it. That’s really the only difference between finding out he was pregnant two days ago and then having it confirmed again today.

“ _Aww_ ,” his mother practically coos over the phone. “His or her very first picture.”

He or she looks like a wobbly little grey blob attached to his insides, but Harry keeps that to himself.

“Big firsts like that always make you a little crazy. It’s understandable that you were a bit upset,” she assures him. “Did you get to hear the heartbeat as well?”

Harry feels his chest tighten.

“…Er- No. I- I didn’t.”

His mother seems to grasp the unspoken _I didn’t want to_ , but doesn’t comment on it. “Well, maybe next time then,” she says instead, letting a heavy silence take over. “…When is that anyway? Your next appointment?”

Harry glances at the folder next to him that contains the information for his next check-up at Dr. Payne’s office in five days as well as the number to Dr. Harding’s office should he decide to not do this at all.

“It’s next Tuesday at three,” he answers. He hears his mother release a small sigh on her end of the receiver that she probably didn’t even mean for him to hear. Harry wishes he could feel that kind of relief. Maybe he’ll feel better by next week. “I think I’m going to ask Gemma to come with me this time.”

 “Well, Tuesday isn’t too far away and it’ll be nice to have someone there with you. You can always listen to the heartbeat then,” she suggests, her voice much lighter now that Harry’s discussing the future. “You know you can even get a recording of it if you want,” she chuckles. “I got one of yours and Gemma’s. I used to play them for anybody who would humor me.”

Harry nearly lost it today because of a simple picture of his unborn baby. A bloody recording of it is sure to do him in for good.

“Yeah, I think I’ll pass for now,” Harry mumbles. He slides his hand over his stomach to see if he feels a difference now that he for sure knows there’s something growing in there. He doesn’t yet. He still feels like the same old Harry. Just slightly more tired than usual.

“And I want a copy of those ultrasounds,” she demands. “Those are my grandchild’s first photographs. They’re going to be page one of my beautiful scrapbook.”

Harry rolls his eyes, fairly certain that she doesn’t even _have_ a scrapbook. If she does, it was most likely being reserved for Gemma’s first child since she’s the oldest and the one who’s actually in a committed relationship, but Harry doesn’t point that out.

“Okay,” he relents. “I’ll ask Dr. Payne for copies on Tuesday.”

*

“Did you see the Greek yogurt I picked up? It’s on the middle shelf right beside the strawberries in the container with the pink top.”

Harry closes his eyes once the back of his head hits the headrest. Gemma has been trying to force him to eat things for years, but now that he’s pregnant she’s upped her game. Harry has never seen his refrigerator so jam-packed with fresh fruits and veggies that he still doesn’t have time to prepare. He doesn’t know what she’s thinking. And besides that, she knows that he fucking _hates_ yogurt.

“ _Yes_ , I saw it,” he sighs. “I also saw the two giant bunches of kale, the box of nine-grain pasta, the mixed-nut and seed bowl, and the brand new blender I told you I didn’t need.”

Gemma cuts her eyes over at him, choosing to concentrate on parking in front of Dr. Payne’s office rather than hitting him like she clearly wants to.

“You’re lucky you’re pregnant. That’s the only reason I’m excusing your bitter, ungrateful attitude.”

Lucky isn’t the word he would use.

“I’m not ungrateful,” he explains. “I just don’t like half the things you’re trying to force me to consume.”

“It’s not about what _you_ like anymore,” she snaps. “Your baby needs vitamins and nutrients. You’re notorious for skipping meals and when you do eat, whatever you take a couple of bites of is usually three seconds from being expired.”

All of that is true, but that doesn’t mean she had to go and buy an entire grocery store and try to fit it all inside of his flat. Harry doesn’t even like to cook.

“Let’s just go in and get this over with. I want to get back soon,” he sighs.

No one at work besides Lou knows what’s going on with him yet and he’d prefer to keep it that way. As far as they’re concerned he’s just been taking more time for himself. Right now, he’s technically on his lunch break which doesn’t last all afternoon so he and Gemma don’t have time to argue over his diet for the millionth time.

Dr. Payne greets them both with a smile when he steps into the examination room.

“Harry! It’s nice to see you again.” After his emotional appointment last week, Dr. Payne probably didn’t expect to see him ever again. “And you brought company this time,” he says, turning his kind grin on Gemma.

Harry introduces them, feeling his anxiety level about this check-up rising the longer they sit around chatting instead of getting down to business. He releases a little sigh when Dr. Payne finally begins working.

He checks and records Harry’s weight and measures his stomach while asking Harry how he’s feeling both mentally and physically. Exhausted is the response he wants to give to both, but he says he’s fine, because for the most part he is. Dr. Payne then asks Harry if he has any questions for him. His thick eyebrows shoot up seeing the long list Harry pulls out of his back pocket.

They spend almost half an hour discussing the changes that Harry’s body is going to go through and how to best prepare for them. Dr. Payne gives Harry the same lecture that Gemma did about eating a balanced diet every day when Gemma chirps in about how stubborn he’s being. It earns Harry a smug smirk from his sister because she can’t ever be right without fucking gloating about it.

The very last thing they do is take another ultrasound. Just the mention of it makes him feel anxious.

“I know you didn’t want to hear the heartbeat last time, but I need to listen to it today to make sure everything is okay,” Dr. Payne explains.

Harry nods as he lies back to get his stomach covered in cold gel.

His baby is so small that it takes a few seconds for Dr. Payne to even locate it again, but then Harry sees it; the little grey blob that’s still no bigger than his thumb. Gemma’s hand slides into his as Dr. Payne measures it on the screen and points out its tiny movements which only makes Harry’s brow furrow because he doesn’t feel a thing.

Hearing the heartbeat for the first time does make him a little crazy like his mother predicted. He doesn’t know why his throat tightens at the sound of it, but thankfully, he’s not as emotional as his sister who only lets go of his hand long enough to scrub the hot tears off her face.

Dr. Payne says he’ll see Harry again in a month’s time after printing off several copies of the picture from his last visit. Gemma wants one and even though she and Niall live in the same house when he calls in to ask how the appointment is going he demands to have one too.

When he and Gemma get back into the car she puts the key in the ignition but doesn’t turn it. She pulls him in over the console for a tight hug instead that Harry really, really needed.

“Haz, you’re going to be an amazing father. You know that right?” she asks, her eyes still glossy from before. “You’re going to be the _best_ dad.”

Harry seriously doubts that, but he grins and nods anyway just happy to have her here and not feel like he’s drowning this time around. He’s still terrified to be having this baby and Louis is still missing from the picture, but Harry isn’t alone. He has people who care about him, and just knowing that he has support makes him feel a lot better about what’s to come.

*

Three months Later

With everything at work moving along at the same lightning pace as always, it’s easy for Harry to forget that he’s even pregnant. The feeling doesn’t last very long of course.

Thankfully, his morning sickness is pretty much nonexistent at this point but his nose still turns up at the smell of certain foods. The abs that he used to have on good days when standing in the right light and flexing are now long gone and instead he just looks bloated all the time like he has eaten too much.

Every time Dr. Payne pulls out his tape measure Harry watches the number of centimeters around his waist get higher and higher. He always grins and tells Harry that a growing belly is a good thing. Harry doesn’t grin back because he has yet to feel that way about being on the fast track to resembling an entire planet.

Other people have started to take notice of the way his body is changing too. He still hasn’t officially announced that he’s pregnant, but he can feel the curious gazes of the nurses and other doctors in the building whenever he walks by. A few intuitive people figure it out without Harry having to say a word. They hug him and offer him whispered congratulations once they realize that he doesn’t quite feel comfortable discussing it yet. Harry appreciates their discretion because even though he’s getting to the point where his weight gain is more than obvious and he’s beginning to physically look pregnant, for the moment hiding is still possible.

Niall comes with him for his five-month check-up when it’s time.

His eyes widen when they walk into the examination room and Harry takes off his white coat before sitting down. Harry is rarely seen without it these days so he feels almost naked without its protection; kind of like he does right now as Niall stares.

“Woah,” he breathes. “You always wear that thing so sometimes I forget that there’s a whole kid in there,” he says with an outstretched hand.

“That’s exactly why I always wear it. So no one else notices and I don’t get people trying to _pet_ me like a dog.” Harry shoots him and his hand a look of warning that makes Niall think twice about touching.

Harry is guilty of asking to touch a couple of pregnant bellies in the past; something that he will _never_ do again because he now realizes that it’s annoying as fuck. Especially when the person asking is his best friend with whom he doesn’t have any boundaries whatsoever so the wanker doesn’t even _ask_ ; he just goes for it.

Niall rolls his eyes as he drops his hand away from him.

“Jesus, have you always been this crabby or are we still blaming it on hormones?”

“Remind me why I asked you to come with me again?” Harry asks right when his room door swings open.

“You didn’t. I invited myself,” Niall mumbles as he stands to greet Dr. Payne with a big smile.

“Hello, Harry. It’s good to see you again. And you’ve brought another new face,” he says, noticing the other person in the room who isn’t Gemma or his mother. “Who’s this?” Dr. Payne kindly asks when Niall shakes his hand.

“No one. He’s just my brother-in-law.”

“Best friend,” Niall corrects. “Ignore him. He only calls me his brother-in-law when he’s upset. I’m Niall.”

“Except I’m _not_ upset,” Harry points out. Niall and everybody else in this building would surely know it if he were.

“That’s what he always says when he’s upset but he doesn’t want to admit it,” he whispers making Dr. Payne chuckle at the both of them.

“Well, I for one think you look just fine. Not upset at all. Actually, you look great,” he assures Harry.

And this is why Harry likes his doctor so much.

“So, are you ready to get started for today?” Dr. Payne chirps as he pulls out his stupid tape measure first thing.

He circles it around the biggest part of Harry’s waist, making Harry sigh as he jots down the new, larger number beside the number from last month.

“ _Harry_ ,” Dr. Payne grins. “We want the numbers to get bigger remember?”

Harry nods at his gentle reminder, still trying to come to terms with the fact that he’s getting larger every day and will only continue to do so.

During his ultrasound, Dr. Payne measures the baby and listens in to the heartbeat which doesn’t take him anywhere near as long to find as it used to when it was just a little grey blob he was searching for.

It definitely isn’t a blob anymore. It now looks somewhat like an actual baby; albeit a very tiny one.

“You still don’t want to know the sex?”

Niall stops gawking at the screen to blink over at Harry when he shakes his head no.

“Haz. You don’t want to know?” He looks more disappointed than Dr. Payne did back when Harry didn’t want to hear the heartbeat.

“No, it’s not that,” Harry lies even though it’s exactly that. “I just- I want to be surprised when the baby is born. That’s all.”

Even referencing what’s going to happen in the next few months scares the shit out of him, but not quite as much as learning whether or not he and Louis created a little girl or a little boy together. He isn’t ready for that big of a dose of reality.  

“Lots of soon-to-be parents choose to be surprised when their baby is born. There’s nothing wrong with that,” Dr. Payne says, jumping in to save him as always. “But don’t worry. I can always tell him the sex later if he changes his mind.”

Harry won’t change his mind but he likes that Dr. Payne gives him a sense of control in a situation in which Harry really has none. Because truly, it doesn’t matter if he knows the sex beforehand or not; he’s still going to be a dad regardless.

Niall turns to him as soon as they’re back in the car.

“Haz, be honest. Do you really just want to be surprised or is it something else?”

Harry figured this was coming. He could tell Niall didn’t buy his lie the moment it left his mouth. Dr. Payne gave his little fib some credibility but apparently not enough to convince his best friend.

“Is this about him?” Niall asks quietly.

And when is it not?

“You can say his name,” Harry sighs. “I’m not going to burst into tears at the mention of it.”

Niall looks skeptical about that statement and for good reason since that did happen once during Harry’s first trimester when he was having a particularly rough day.

“Alright then. Does this have something to do with Louis?”

“No. I’d just rather wait like I said. It’s no big deal,” he shrugs even though it is.

People usually celebrate after finding out the sex of their baby. It all seems kind of pointless in Harry’s case when he doesn’t even have anybody to be excited with.

“Haz, you know we’re all going to be there for you, right? Even if he can’t be.”

Niall squeezes his hand and for some reason it makes his throat prickle with tears. It’s nice hearing that, but it just makes Harry feel more alone because the one person that he wants to be here, isn’t. Niall does have a point though. His loved ones will be excited for him no matter what. He could tell them that he’s pregnant with triplet cats and they’d still be just as supportive and enthusiastic. Maybe he’ll ask about the sex next time so at least they can know.

“Thanks, Ni. I appreciate that,” he says after he’s swallowed down the sudden lump of emotion that was threating to overcome him.

“Of course, mate. Anytime. We love you and your unborn, sexually ambiguous offspring.” Niall smiles at him and tugs on a lock of his hair just to be annoying. He squeezes Harry’s hand again in comfort, hesitating before pulling his arm back across the middle console.

He’s looking right at Harry’s belly which, to be fair, does look a lot larger and rounder whenever he’s sitting down like this. Harry rolls his eyes, knowing that Niall’s just going to pout about it for the rest of forever if he doesn’t let him touch it.

“Go ahead,” he sighs. “I don’t want to hear it from Gemma later that you’re whining.”

Niall’s face lights up in an instant. “Really? You don’t mind?”

Harry does slightly, but he knows Niall and the rest of his family are merely curious and excited. It should really be Niall and Gemma who are going through this anyway so he doesn’t want to deny them the chance to experience all parts of it.

Niall tentatively presses his palm against his stomach and stills like he’s waiting for something to happen. He frowns a bit when nothing does.

“You still haven’t felt it kicking?”

“Nope. Not yet,” Harry reports. Dr. Payne says that his baby moves all the time, but Harry has yet to notice. That’s part of the reason he forgets his baby is even in there half of the time.

“Well, soon, I guess.” Niall lets his hand fall away, realizing that there’s nothing to feel. “Whenever he or she is ready,” he says.

Harry nods in agreement, not quite sure if _he’s_ ready.

Back at the hospital Harry works hard to catch up since he took an extra-long lunch break to go to his doctor’s appointment. He stops by the playroom before his evening rounds because he swore on all the chocolate milk and candy in the world that he would.

Seeing his patients so happy and just being kids always makes him smile. A hospital is no place for children, but seeing them getting healthier each day and strong enough to come socialize means that Harry has done his job. Once they’re up and playing again his patients are generally ready to leave, so naturally, the playroom is his favorite place to visit. 

“Dr. Harry! Come sit with us!” is the first thing shouted in his direction when he opens the door. His patient, Ethan, waves him over with his friend Alex who is leaving first thing tomorrow morning, and Elizabeth who will hopefully be able to leave in the next couple of days.

Harry takes a seat next to them on the floor, a move that is becoming more and more difficult to effortlessly pull off the bigger his stomach gets. Harry tugs at the edges of his coat, arranging it so that it covers him from both sides; more specifically so that it shields him from the view of the supervising nurse who stared at him when he came in.

“So, what are we doing?” Harry smiles at them, his eyebrows shooting up when Elizabeth shoves a pile of crayons and tablet full of blank paper in front of him as an answer.

“We’re drawing. See,” she says holding up her half-finished picture of the fish tank to the left of them. It’s pretty good. Much better than what Harry could have pulled off at the age of six.

Harry makes a big deal out of praising her artwork as well as the drawings the boys have started. The kids soon tire of showing off what they’ve done and ask Harry what he’s going to draw. He has no idea. He isn’t an artist by any means so he just starts doodling with three pairs of curious eyes glued to him. It’s refreshing to know that they aren’t staring at his belly like everyone else seems to. They probably don’t even notice it.

He draws a sun first and then a few clouds and birds around it so that his sky is indisputably a sky. He draws some water next and a little mound of sand that’s supposed to be the land, but looks more like a giant rock that crashed in the middle of the ocean so Harry draws a few palm trees sticking out of it so that his island is more obvious.

Ethan scoots closer to see the finished product when he’s done.

“You drew the beach?”

“Yep. It’s Hawaii. I went there once,” Harry tells them all. He didn’t even realize that’s what he was drawing until he was already half-finished.

“You did a good job. It looks pretty,” Elizabeth comments.

Hawaii is the most beautiful place he’s ever seen. His drawing doesn’t do it justice in the slightest, but Harry grins at her compliment. “Thanks. I tried my best.”

That island was really something. It got him into quite the mess of course. He tried hating it once just to have someone to blame besides himself for what happened, but he couldn’t do it. He’d go back in a heartbeat. Even faster if he knew Louis would be there too.

Harry returns to his office for a quick break before his evening rounds start. He pulls out his phone and swipes to the few real pictures he has of the island.

He forgot his phone in his bungalow almost every day that he was there, but he remembered it on his last full day and tried to capture as much of the magic as he could. He wishes he had thought to take pictures with Louis. Getting his phone number would’ve been nice as well but beating himself up about it now isn’t going to do anything.

He places his phone down on his desk and flattens a palm over his little belly. His thoughts turn to Louis almost every day whether Harry means to think about him or not. Harry often wonders what he’s doing; if he’d even care that Harry’s pregnant with his future son or daughter. If Louis would want anything to do with them at all. If he did, would he prefer to have a little boy that looks just like him or a beautiful little girl like Harry’s mother is convinced that he’s going to have.

Harry picks up his phone again without even really making the conscious decision to do so. He finds the number he’s looking for and presses it, his left knee anxiously bouncing beneath his desk until Dr. Payne answers the phone.

“Harry? How are you? Is everything okay?”

He sounds different; worried as well as caught off-guard. He glances at the time and realizes it’s probably because he’s at home. He gave Harry his personal number in case he ever needed to reach him. Dr. Payne _probably_ meant only during emergencies, but he never actually specified, so.

“Everything’s fine. I’m sorry for disturbing you at home. I just have a quick question.”

“Okay, I’ll do my best to answer it for you. What’s going on?”

Harry can still hear the slight edge of concern in his voice, thinking something is wrong with the baby. “It’s nothing bad. I- I just wanted to know if you could tell me the sex. I uh, I changed my mind.”

Dr. Payne releases a small breath of relief into the receiver.

“Of course, Harry. I can do that,” he says, his smile almost audible now that he isn’t worrying. “Ready?”

“Yeah. Ready,” Harry nods.

“You’re having a little boy.”

Harry nods at no one, letting that information slowly sink in.

“Harry? Are you still there?” his doctor checks.

“Yeah, I’m here,” Harry breathes, still processing. He’s going to have a _son_. “Thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome, Harry. I’m glad you called. Is there anything else you need?”

“No, that was all. I know I said I didn’t want to know at first but all of a sudden I just had to. Sorry again for bothering you outside of your office.” Harry hates when people do that to him.

“You didn’t bother me at all. I wanted you to have this number,” Dr. Payne assures him. “You take care of yourself and your little boy and have a good night.”

“Okay, I will. You have a good night as well. And thanks again,” Harry hurries to say before the line disconnects.

When he rubs over his belly this time it feels different. Not physically of course. He still looks like he swallowed a small bowling ball and he still can’t feel any movement, but just knowing that his son is in there puts a little grin on his face.

He grabs his phone again and sends a quick group text to the small handful of people that would actually be interested in knowing the sex of his baby. He tells them that it’s a boy and then grins at the lengthy, all-caps responses he receives just seconds after hitting send. They’re happy for him and Harry is happy for himself too. It’s the best he has felt his whole pregnancy.

*

The mini high that Harry got off of finding out about his son fades as work gets crazier and crazier and Harry starts to go mad right along with it.

He wakes up a few weeks later hot and sweaty which has become the new norm for him no matter how many layers he sheds before going to bed. Sleeping was so easy during his first trimester. He feels like that’s all he did but now he has trouble drifting off even if he’s exhausted because his belly makes it hard for him to find a comfortable position and stay in it.

His head hurts when he opens his eyes, mostly because he tossed and turned all night. His hair is damp and stuck to the back of his neck which only annoys him further because the pre-natal vitamins that Dr. Payne prescribed him makes it grow too fast.

All he wants is to continue lying there forever but he can’t. He hops in the shower and turns the hot water on full blast to soothe his aching muscles since back and occasional leg pain are now the new norm as well. A massage would be nice. It’s too bad he doesn’t have the time to schedule one.

He gets dressed and puts his hair up so that it isn’t in his way as he hurries to the kitchen. He used to just heat up some leftovers and take enough bites of it to qualify as putting something in his stomach but now that he’s pregnant he has to cook whole, balanced meals even though he hates doing it.  

Everything that Gemma has stuffed inside of his refrigerator for this week stares him in the face as he thinks of the quickest and easiest thing he can make. He grabs two eggs, the cheese, an avocado, and two slices of the fancy bread that has more fucking grains in it than Harry even realized was possible.

Harry takes out his frying pan and cracks his two eggs inside of it. While they’re cooking he peels and slices his avocado, accidently nicking his finger with the edge of the blade in the process of taking out the seed because he’s rushing.

His bread turns out darker than he intended but he doesn’t have time to start over so just goes with it. He feels better once his eggs have been flipped and his breakfast sandwich is nearly complete. He slices a piece of cheddar cheese to throw on top of it and then swears aloud when he drops the whole plate of food on the floor.

He closes his eyes and presses the heels of his palms into them, irritated and feeling like a complete idiot when his throat stings and he starts to cry. It’s times like these that make Harry feel like he can’t do any of this. His morning rounds start in half an hour. His kitchen is a mess and now he’s standing in the middle of it sobbing though Harry can’t remember why exactly he feels so sad.

There’s no time to make more food once he’s all cried out so Harry grabs two bananas and a Greek yogurt cup out of the fridge that he’ll have to eat in his office. He doesn’t have time to clean up his mess on the floor. It’ll just waste more time so he’s forced to leave it there for later.

Things don’t go much better once he gets to work. In fact his whole day feels like one disastrous nightmare after the other. One of his patients has a tumor that turns out to be cancerous so Harry has to refer him to oncology. Within the same hour, he gets a brand new patient who needs an emergency Appendectomy which normally wouldn’t stress Harry out except today he feels off of his game. He had to work through his lunch which didn’t go unnoticed by his sister so he had to listen to a fifteen minute lecture about it which he later got to hear again from Niall because word travels fast between spouses.

By the time Harry is dragging himself out of his office that night he’s mentally and physically drained. The last thing he wants to hear is the sound of Aiden’s voice, and yet there it is just to the left of him.

“Harry,” he grins. “We haven’t bumped into each other in a while.” A strange phenomenon that Harry hasn’t actually minded. “How are you? How have you been?”

Miserable. “Fine. I’m actually just leaving though, so have a good night.”

“You don’t _look_ fine,” Aiden comments, reeling him right back in before he can take a step away. “Are you sure there’s nothing wrong?”

“I had a rough day, Aiden.” He sighs, feeling the weight of it even more now that he’s so close to leaving. “I just want to go home and get some sleep.”

Harry waves as he successfully takes a step away but Aiden reaches for his forearm to keep him there. Harry glares up at him from behind tired green eyes, but they get the message across. “Let go of me.”

Aiden releases his arm immediately, clearly surprised by the bite Harry’s tone.

“I-I’m sorry, Harry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just going to suggest that we get something quick to eat. Or maybe some coffee so we can talk,” he explains, his grin back in place when he playfully knocks Harry’s hand with the back of his own. “Come on, Styles. It’s my treat and the caffeine will do you good. You look exhausted.”

“That’s because I _am_ exhausted. That tends to happen when you’re _pregnant_ and you work thirteen-hour days on your _feet_.”

Harry didn’t mean to snap at Aiden, but he’s doing that thing he always does when he tries to coerce Harry into doing something he doesn’t want to. He can’t deal with it. Not tonight.

Aiden doesn’t even look contrite as he stares down at Harry’s stomach like he’s just now noticing it. They don’t see much of each other now that Harry doesn’t stay at the hospital as late but Aiden silently and curiously stares him down every time their paths cross.

“So, it’s true then,” he says mostly to himself. “Rumors have been going around for a while now but nobody could tell for sure. It’s basically all anybody can talk about around here.”

And isn’t that just the icing on Harry’s shit cake of a day. He’s been working so hard to keep people from suspecting and apparently it has all been for nothing because they already knew.

“Congratulations.” Aiden’s blessing doesn’t sound genuine in the slightest. Harry would’ve preferred for him to not say it at all if he didn’t mean it. “…So, where’s the father, if you don’t mind me asking?” Harry minds him asking. “I mean, I guess you two are pretty serious? …I didn’t know you were even seeing someone,” he mutters under his breath like all of Harry’s rejections over the years suddenly make sense instead of Harry constantly telling him he’s not interested.

It’s none of Aiden’s business who the father is or anyone else’s for that matter. Harry doesn’t have to answer to him and so he doesn’t, curtly wishing Aiden a good night before he turns and leaves.

Harry’s blood stops boiling by the time he gets home. He had forgotten about his ruined breakfast from this morning but he’s reminded of it as soon as he walks into his kitchen in search of a late-night snack and sees it lying there on the floor.

He sweeps up the food and the glass and then makes himself some popcorn because he’s starving and it’s easy. He would like a hot shower after the day he’s had but he’s so tired that he forgoes it and just crawls into bed instead.

He lies on his side, finding it difficult to fall asleep yet again so he rolls over onto his back. He lies still, groaning when he still can’t fall asleep, but then he feels something move just below his navel forcing him to gasp from the foreign and bizarre sensation.

Harry waits almost a full minute before he feels it again. He places his hand over the area, grinning when his baby moves around, clearly just as restless tonight as Harry is.

Everything he’s read and has been told about feeling babies kick pales in comparison to how light it makes his heart. The fact that his baby is moving is probably only exciting to him since it’s his baby and his stomach, but he wants to tell somebody about it anyway; anybody, but everyone he knows is likely asleep at this hour. He’ll tell them tomorrow.

Harry settles down on his back again and lies still hoping it’ll prompt his baby to do some more wiggling around but it doesn’t. He guesses his son has now tired himself out by making such a big show, but Harry doesn’t mind that he waited until now to let Harry know that he’s in there because remembering that he isn’t alone is what Harry needed most on a day like today.

*

Harry has been pregnant for months, but it’s never felt as real as it does now that his baby kicks all day and sometimes even all night.

The only thing Harry wanted when he first felt the baby move was to be able to tell someone. It made no sense whatsoever for that someone to be Louis.

Harry hasn’t seen him in almost six months and yet he still feels the urge to share all of these exciting first moments with him. They have a son together who’s going to be here in just three short months. There are going to be lots of firsts and Louis should get to be a part of them; he has just as much right to meet their child as Harry does. Harry still doesn’t know if Louis will even care that he’s going to be a father, but the only way that Harry can find out is to find him.

And so, that’s exactly what he starts doing after finally telling admin that he’s pregnant, taking a sick day off from work for the first time _ever_ to go to one of his check-up appointments instead of using his precious lunch time to do it; a special day in which he also gets a haircut finally because he can’t stand sweating under his curls anymore.

His first official attempt to find Louis was discouraging to say the least. He had called the resort with all the nerve he had worked up to ask for any information they could provide about the man who stayed in room 803 nearly half a year ago. Apparently the resort can’t give out information about guests, even past ones who are no longer there.

It’s not a _bad_ policy per se. It actually makes a lot of sense because any crazy person could call and demand to know about someone who has stayed there, but Harry’s not crazy. His reason for needing Louis’ information is completely valid.

He didn’t want to come right out and say that he’s pregnant and got that way in their stupid hotel so he came up with a little white lie about finding Louis’ credit card in his things and wanting to return it which still didn’t work. The resort just offered to receive the card from Harry in the mail so _they_ could send it to Louis instead, still refusing to tell Harry anything useful about him. Looking back, Harry probably should’ve expected that, but he still cried about it for a whole five minutes after hanging up.

Calling the resort didn’t work out quite the way he had planned, but he knew this wasn’t going to be easy when he made up his mind to do this so he sits down and comes up with a new approach.

He makes a list of everything he knows about Louis which turns out to be a lot more than Harry originally thought.

He’s English for starters, though that doesn’t mean that’s where he lives. Realistically, Louis could live and work anywhere, however he sounds like he’s from the northern half of the country so Harry decides to start there. He’s a music teacher. Louis talked about his job a couple of times, but that doesn’t do Harry much good because Louis never mentioned the age of his students.

Those are the few, irrefutable facts that Harry has about him besides intricate details that aren’t going to get him very far like the exact color of Louis’ eyes or how incredibly soft his lips feel.

Every night when Harry gets off work he sits down with his laptop and his endless list of schools that offer music and scrolls through the staff pages of their websites hoping to see his picture. Harry’s original Google search of different variations of the words _Louis_ and _music_ and _teacher_ didn’t give any useful results, so now he’s stuck doing this.

He tries at least twenty schools per night but unfortunately Louis doesn’t work for any of them. Harry doesn’t give up hope though, because even if he has to look up every school in the bloody world for the next thirty years, he’ll find him eventually. Louis’ out there. He exists. Harry has an incredibly active little boy who keeps him up every night as proof.

*

It’s nearly a month later when Harry hears his name being paged over the speaker system up on the sixth floor with Niall. He sighs, not wanting to get up because his feet hurt and it already took him a huge amount of energy to get up here in the first place.

“You better get going,” Niall tells him. “It could be an emergency.”

That’s doubtful.

“It’s not.” There would’ve been a special code attached to his name if it were. “It’s probably just Gemma harassing the nurses.”

Niall raises an eyebrow at his assumption “And you’re not getting up? You must be feeling pretty brave today. Either that or you have a death wish,” he mumbles.

No, Harry feels pretty tired today which means he doesn’t want to hear Gemma lecturing him on whatever it is that he has done this time, and yet has no recollection of. Even so, he can’t hide out in Niall’s office forever. Eventually she’ll just come up here and then he’ll never hear the end of it.

“I’ll go. I’ve got work to finish anyway.”

Harry gets up, moving a lot slower than he used to now that he’s mostly belly and the majority of his weight and balance is centered there.

He has long since given up the security of his coat. It’s getting warmer outside and besides that, it never really did much to hide his stomach anyway. Now that he’s six months into this thing there’s no point in even attempting to hide it. To be honest, he doesn’t even _want_ to hide it anymore. It’s exhausting.

“Did you sleep any better last night?” Niall asks when Harry uses one hand to massage the kink that just formed in his lower back.

Harry chuckles at his question.

“With this little guy jumping around until after midnight? Not a chance.”

“Just wait until you have him and he _cries_ until after midnight. That’ll be loads of fun,” Niall muses with a dark grin.

It took a while for Harry to warm up to the idea of becoming a real-life dad, but now that he has, he’s growing more and more excited about meeting his baby soon. The promise of late-night screaming once he does is one of the things that Harry still isn’t too fond of.

Maybe his baby will be good and well-trained and only cry during the day. That’s what he keeps hoping for anyway. If only.

People greet him with bright smiles as he makes his way back down to the fourth floor and even though Harry could really go for a nap right about now, he smiles back.

He stops at the nurses station on the way to his office to see why he was paged, expecting to find his sister there waiting for him as per usual.

“You have a call in your office. A something Tomlinson…” Nurse Mindy mutters absently as she searches her desk for the sticky note she finds stuck to her computer screen. “Ah! Found it! _Louis_ Tomlinson.”

Harry feels his heart stop dead in his chest. He has no idea if this person’s name is just an eerie coincidence or if by some miracle this is the Louis that he’s been looking for, but he’s barely breathing all the same.

“He called yesterday too, but you were in the OR. He didn’t leave a message. Said he’d just call back later,” she explains.

Her brow furrows when Harry doesn’t say anything at all, just standing there staring at the sticky note in her hands.

He backs away from her desk and hurries straight to his office. He hears the sarcastic ‘ _You’re welcome_ ’ she shouts at his back but he pays it no mind.

Harry closes and locks the door behind him, staring at the red on-hold light blinking on his desk phone like it’s a bomb. He sits down in front of it just as gingerly, his whispered hello barely even audible when he finally has the courage to pick it up.

“You are one tough kid surgeon to find. Do you know how many doctors there are in this country named Harry?” Louis answers his own question when Harry just sits there with his mouth open listening to that familiar, happy lilt in Louis’ voice that he thought he’d never hear again. “I won’t bore you with numbers, but just know that there are _a lot_ ,” he jokes.

Harry can’t believe this is really happening. He nearly pinches himself just to make sure he isn’t dreaming.

“...H-Harry? Are you there?”

Harry nods at the question, shaking his head in annoyance with himself two seconds later when he remembers that Louis can’t see that. He quickly wipes at his eyes to get rid of the emotional sting that’s just behind them before answering.

“Yeah, Louis. I am. I’m here. I-” Harry has never been happier to hear someone’s voice in his whole life. “Louis, how the hell did you find this number?” It’s really a question of how Louis found _him_ when Harry has been trying to do that for weeks now.

Now it’s Louis’ turn to go quiet, chuckling nervously into the receiver. God, Harry wishes he could see his smile.

“I was afraid you’d ask that,” he sighs. “Do you want the long version or the short one?”

“Long one,” Harry answers without hesitation making a genuine laugh from Louis filter through the line.

“Alright, so this is pretty embarrassing. Mostly for me since we kind of had this unspoken agreement that what we had in Hawaii was just two people having fun. And I did have fun with you, Harry. Those two days were everything.” Just hearing that makes Harry smile. He had fun with Louis too. So much. “And I swear I’m not like, a stalker or anything,” he chuckles, “I know that me tracking you down like this is random, but the truth is that I couldn’t stop thinking about you. And of course I was a complete idiot, and of course I thought I could just walk away and leave it all there on the island, so we didn’t even exchange phone numbers which turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life because all I’ve wanted to do since stepping off that plane is talk to you.”

For the first time in his life, Harry is completely speechless. He wasn’t even this wonderstruck when he found out he was pregnant.

“Did I mention that I’m _not_ a stalker?” Louis jokes when his big reveal is met with silence.

“…Yeah. You did,” Harry breathes.

“I swear I’m not usually this insane,” he says, but Harry’s glad that in this case, he was.

“I got over five million,” Harry says.

“Um, of what exactly?” Louis asks, clearly amused by Harry’s random interjection.

“That’s the number of results I got when I tried Googling your first name and music teacher. I got through a few hundred of them before I switched to looking up schools instead because I figured it had to be easier.”

Louis’ voice still holds signs of that big smile that Harry wants so badly to see again. “And I thought I had it rough with the measly two and a half million I got for you.”

All Harry has been doing for the past month is searching for him. On some level he had hoped that Louis would want to hear from him after all this time. Never in his wildest dreams did he expect Louis to find him first.

“Well, Harry, I know that you’re probably extremely busy right now with being amazing and saving lives and all that. I’m actually on my lunch break, so I won’t keep you much longer,” he promises like Harry minds sitting here talking about nothing with him. “I just had to hear your voice again and… I don’t know how you’d feel about this, but I’d love to maybe see you as well? And not for all the borderline creepy reasons that I rambled about earlier,” he assures Harry. “Just to chat and maybe catch up over lunch or coffee if you’re up for it?”

 _If_ he’s up for it? Harry grins, feeling his cheeks warm just like they did when Louis invited him to eat ice cream stuffed inside of a pineapple.

The feeling vanishes the moment his stomach flutters and he realizes it isn’t just butterflies moving around in there. Harry gently holds his stomach wondering if his baby is suddenly so excited because Harry just was. _Their_ baby, he mentally corrects himself. Louis knows that Harry has been searching for him all this time too, but he doesn’t know _why_ Harry was so desperate to find him. He thinks he’s talking to the same Harry from Hawaii, but unfortunately he isn’t.

“Harry?”

“I’m here. I heard you.” he rushes to say, so Louis doesn’t think he’s avoiding his question. Harry squeezes his eyes shut, hating that he can’t just say yes the way his heart is begging him to. “Louis, listen… about having lunch…”

“Uh-oh. That doesn’t sound too good,” he says, his nervous laugh resurfacing. “I did mention that I’m _not_ a stalker, right?”

“I know. And it’s not that, Louis, believe me,” he sighs. “I just- There are some things we should talk about and… it’s kind of complicated…” He really, really wishes it didn’t have to be. “I’ve changed a bit since the last time we saw each other. It’s hard to explain.”

“Oh. Um- Okay,” he says quietly. “Same. I’m a little different too I guess. My tan is long gone for starters. It’s tragic really.”

There is still a teasing note to his voice but only to cover up the very real disappointment there. Harry’s hesitance is a lot more than just being pale. He’d take losing his tan over altering Louis’ entire world with the news he has to share with him any day of the week. All of the days and nights that Harry spent wishing for Louis to be here with him and to know what was going on and not once did Harry ever think of what he would say if the day actually came.

“It’s alright, Harry. We, uh…we don’t have to have lunch if you don’t want to,” Louis says, already backtracking like he’s made a mistake. “I contacted you out of nowhere so I totally get it if you’re seeing someone or whatever. Like I said, it’s just nice to talk to you again.”

That sounds a lot like the makings of a goodbye causing Harry’s heart to stutter in his chest.

“No, Louis, that’s not what I meant at all. I want to see you,” he hurries to say. There are so many things that Harry needs to tell him. The prospect of doing it in person is terrifying, but it has to be better than telling him over the phone. Harry owes him that much at least.

“Oh. _Oh._ Okay,” Louis rather agrees easily, the edge of excitement slowly creeping back into his voice. “But only if you’re sure.”

“I’m more than sure. But, it’ll probably have to be a late dinner instead of a lunch,” Harry warns. He doesn’t have much free time during the day as it is and what he and Louis need to discuss is going to take a while.

“That’s perfect. Lunch is overrated anyway,” Louis assures him. He sounds so relieved to hear Harry agree to see him that he’d probably meet Harry whenever he asked.

“So, Louis, where are you exactly? Where are you calling from?” Harry asks, realizing he still has no clue. Their late dinner might have to be done over a weekend depending on far they’ll have to travel to get to one another.

A grin pulls at the corners of his mouth when Louis snorts into the phone. “Okay, so this is going to sound really creepy, but believe it or not we’ve been like, twelve blocks from each other this whole time? I live about ten minutes from the hospital across from the park.” Harry blinks out his fourth floor window at the patch of green visible down the street from him and cackles into the phone. He can’t believe how many hours he has spent searching for Louis and he lives within fucking walking distance. “Told you it was creepy,” he chuckles. “Did I mention-?”

“You’re not a stalker? I know. I’m not either,” Harry laughs.

He can’t remember the last time he felt this way; so happy and incredibly light. It was probably six months ago in Hawaii.

“And I’m not seeing anyone by the way.” He should’ve said that first thing. Louis had sounded so crushed thinking that he was.

“Well, that’s definitely a relief. I won’t lie and say that I’m not thrilled to hear it.”

His words pull a little laugh out of both them, a comfortable silence filling the space between them in the seconds that follow. There’s so much that he needs to tell him.

“I missed you,” Harry says. It comes out of nowhere, and yet he’s been thinking it since the moment he picked up the phone. His heart beats a little faster at Louis’ response.

“Trust me, love. I know the feeling.”


	3. Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :')

Harry pukes for the first time in months on the night that he’s supposed to meet up with Louis. This time, he can’t even blame it on being pregnant; he’s just a nervous fucking wreck.

He stands up from the toilet, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror with a pale face and an outfit that he doesn’t particularly like but had no choice but to wear because none of his old clothes fit.

It has been two whole wonderful days since Louis jumped back into his life. A brand new text from him is the first thing Harry sees when he wakes up in the morning and the last thing he sees before he crashes with his phone clenched in his hand each night. The messages are relatively simple things like good morning or good night, but it’s so nice just knowing that Louis is thinking about him. He still can’t believe that Louis tracked him down after all this time. That knowledge alone makes him feel as though his head is in the clouds. 

Harry has no doubt in his mind that under normal circumstances, the two of them could take this fresh start and really turn it into something great. Yes, Harry works all the time, and sure, divorce is as common of a word as medicine in his profession, but his brain still entertains the fantasy of the way life could be if things weren’t so messed up.

Louis has no idea that he’s pregnant when he sends Harry all of the random yet hilarious things he’s thinking throughout the day. He has no clue that he has a son on the way who practically turns cartwheels in Harry’s stomach whenever Louis admits that he’s been counting down to their late dinner date since the moment that Harry said yes. The truth is, neither Harry or the baby have been resting well the last couple of nights and Harry’s adrenaline and rapid pulse are both to blame.

He gets cleaned up again once his stomach stops churning and changes his shirt to a black floral button-down because the white one he was wearing made him feel huge. He’s still just as pregnant as he was before, but the switch makes him feel better anyway as he grabs his keys on his way out the door a whole ten minutes early to be sure he isn’t late.

It takes one frazzled phone call to his mother and another to Gemma and Niall on the way to the restaurant to keep him from turning around and forgetting the whole night.

He doesn’t want to lose all the good feelings that come with Louis yet. Most of all, he just wants Louis to still look at him the same and still like him after this; as selfish as that sounds.

Everyone offers him words of encouragement about the type of person that Louis is, reminding Harry that he fell for Louis in Hawaii for a reason and he won’t let him down. The Louis who thinks they’re about to sit down for an extremely overdue first date wouldn’t let him down. Harry isn’t so sure about the one who’s about to be told he’s a soon-to-be father.

He sits in his parked car for a while once he arrives, giving himself a mental pep talk for the moment that he walks through the glass double doors of the restaurant and Louis finally learns the truth. Once he has come to terms with the fact that this is in fact something he _has_ to do for their baby, Harry bravely forces himself out of the car, through the doors, and over to the table reserved under Louis’ name. All of which turns out to be a bit premature because Louis isn’t even here yet.

A quick glance at his phone reveals that he’s still quite early even with the two panicked phone calls he made to his family and his own little personal meltdown outside in his car just now.

He orders a glass of water to settle his nerves, resenting the fact that he can’t have something stronger. He occupies himself for five whole minutes smoothing the perfect white cloth on the table and pretending like he gives a damn about whatever he’s scrolling through on his phone. Each time the double doors swing open with a whoosh his heart stops in his chest only for it to slowly start up again once he realizes it’s not Louis.

It’s seven fifty-eight when the man he’s expecting finally does make an appearance in the doorway. Harry’s heart still stops at the sight of him though it quickly flutters back to life when Louis anxiously looks over the shoulder of the hostess confirming his reservation to scan the room.

Harry hasn’t seen that smile in half a year, but it’s just as beautiful as he remembers when Louis spots him right away. He quickly thanks the hostess for her assistance before bypassing her altogether to cross the room. Harry feels the full weight of Louis’ bright energy as he makes his way over in an impressive outfit that he obviously put a lot of thought into. He looks amazing and Harry’s first instinct is to get up to meet him in a tight hug but the fear of the way Louis will look at him once he does keeps him rooted to his seat.

Louis doesn’t seem bothered by Harry staying where he is. He looks thrilled just to see him there at all. “ _Finally_ ,” he teases like he’s been waiting forever. According to all of his texts over the past couple of days, he has been.

Harry takes a moment to cherish the way Louis smiles at him like not a single day has passed since Hawaii, eventually biting the bullet and standing up to meet him in the warm embrace that he’s obviously counting on.

He follows the path of Louis’ eyes as they quickly scan over his tall frame, zeroing in and freezing right on the stomach that Harry’s right hand is doing nothing to disguise.

Louis’ smile falls away once he realizes, a confused yet kind grin replacing it once he mentally processes what he’s seeing.

“Hey,” he greets Harry, though the way he approaches him now is much different when he steps forward; his movements much gentler as he kisses Harry’s cheek like nothing is amiss when literally everything is wrong.

Harry is thankful for his calm demeanor and his composure. He knows that he wouldn’t have been able to handle Louis getting angry at him for being lied to. Harry’s heart is already in his throat as it is.

Louis helps him back into his seat before taking his own across from him and Harry can’t look him in the eye no matter how hard he tries. He doesn’t know why he thought doing this in person would be easier.

He knows that Louis must have a billion questions and Harry realizes in an instant that he’s not prepared to answer even half of them. Harry would most definitely be upset if their situations were reversed and Louis decided to tell him the news this way; he’s losing his mind already and neither of them has even said a word about the giant, pregnant elephant in the room.

“Wow. You really weren’t kidding about looking different from Hawaii.”

Harry feels his heart sink at the comment. His hands automatically move to cover his stomach again even though it can still be seen through his fingers. He says nothing, unable to make his mouth give the apology that Louis so deserves for being kept in the dark.

“…I- I know it’s probably a bit of a shock,” he says instead.

“I’ll say,” Louis quickly agrees. “You cut off all of your hair.” Louis says it in such a fond, lighthearted manner, forcing Harry’s eyes up from the table to meet his for the first time since they sat down. Louis’ bright smile is back in place and still aimed right at him. “It looks amazing. You look incredible, H.”

One of Harry’s hands falls away from his stomach to absently run through his short hair remembering when it was nearly past his shoulders and feels his throat start to tighten.

It has been tough sitting in front of Louis these past few minutes knowing that he now knows, but Harry has managed to hold it together pretty well; even with the lack of new air in his lungs from holding his breath. It feels like he has been holding it for months but he finally lets it all rush out, his tight throat finally releasing as well with the hot tears that suddenly spring up to his eyes from Louis grinning at him like nothing has changed. It’s a frighteningly new feeling for him, especially since at times Harry feels like a completely different person from who he was.

His breathing goes ragged as he starts to cry and the first thing Harry sees is Louis’ arm shoot out to grab his napkin. Louis stands, swearing and apologizing profusely as he comes over to Harry’s side of the table to offer him the napkin even though Harry has a perfectly good one sitting right in front of him. He takes it anyway, grateful and yet embarrassed that they’re in a restaurant full of people just trying to enjoy their dinner and he’s sobbing like an idiot.

Louis stands there with him and discreetly waves their waiter off in a silent plea for him to come back later. He continues to gently rub Harry’s back until his tears subside and then he retakes his seat, anxiously biting at his lips until Harry is ready to meet his eyes again.

“I’m so sorry about that,” he says for what feels like the hundredth time. “I did that thing where I opened my mouth and didn’t think it through before saying something really dumb. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No _,_ you didn’t,” Harry assures him, immediately taking it back when Louis raises a sarcastic, unconvinced eyebrow at him. “Okay, you kind of did, but it wasn’t your fault,” he assures Louis. “It’s mine. Because I was nervous, and I’m ridiculous these days, and emotional, and- and…”

And _pregnant_. The word is right there on the tip of his tongue and yet he can’t spit it out. Louis doesn’t force it.

“I’m so sorry you had to find out this way, Louis. Believe me when I say I wanted to tell you two days ago when we first spoke.” He wanted to tell Louis almost six _months_ ago when he found out himself. Harry just didn’t know where he was until more recently and two days ago he selfishly chickened out.

“It’s more than okay, Harry. I get it. You don’t owe me anything,” he says understandably.

Harry hadn’t prepared for this fully-accepting, non-judgmental reaction. He thought Louis would be mad at him or at least slightly upset that Harry basically lied when he agreed to see him tonight, but so far he doesn’t seem to be either of those things. Mostly he just seems apprehensive as he dips his head to subconsciously rub at his own neck while he slowly puts two and two together.

He resumes biting at his bottom lip a couple of minutes later, taking his time forming the question he so clearly wants to ask.

“Harry, I don’t mean to pry,” he begins with a genuine apology already audible in his voice. “But…how far along are you?”

And there it is. Harry knew this was coming. He figured that would’ve been the first thing out of Louis’ mouth when they saw each other so he steels himself, ready for whatever reaction Louis is about to have.

“About six months. Almost seven,” he answers honestly.

Louis sucks in a deep breath and releases it slowly. “Okay,” he nods mostly to himself as he mentally does the math and realizes it’s been exactly that long since they were together in Hawaii. “Okay,” he repeats, clearly more anxious as the pieces of the puzzle start falling together. “And again, Harry, I truly don’t mean to pry, but…” he tapers off, his eyes already screaming the question he’s too scared to ask.

Harry puts them both out of their misery, nodding his head in answer to what Louis doesn’t have the courage to say aloud. “You’ve been the only one, Lou.”

Harry sees him take another deep breath as soon as the words settle in, his exhale a little shaky on the release.

Louis clears his throat, staring down at his fingers in his lap for a long time, only moving a minute later to rest his head in his trembling hands.

This is the kind of reaction that Harry anticipated; the same terrifying, crippling disbelief that Harry experienced when he forced Niall to take three blood samples in hopes that the first two were wrong. Their waiter attempts to come back a few seconds later and Harry desperately waves him off. No one needs to witness this. Harry wishes _he_ didn’t even have to witness it.

Louis’ eyes are wet and swimming with emotion when he finally lifts his head.

“Do you already know the sex?” he asks quietly.

Every unshed tear he’s holding back falls and splatters down his cheeks when Harry nods and tells him they’re going to have a little boy. Louis cradles his face for a second time, a small wet smile now visible in the space between his hands.

“Are you serious?” he sniffs, confusing Harry even more when he chokes out a laugh in the middle of a sob.

When it was Harry tearing up a few minutes ago Louis offered him comfort in the form of an apology and a random napkin. Harry’s hand guiltily curls around his own napkin wondering if he should do the same. “Louis? Are- Are you okay?” he asks carefully, genuinely unsure of whether or not he is.

Louis wipes over his face, taking a few deep breaths to compose himself when he notices Harry’s distress while watching his breakdown.

“Yeah, Harry. I just- I’m good. I’m sorry for scaring you.”

Harry tries to apologize for upsetting _him_ but Louis shakes his head.

“No, it’s fine. _I’m_ fine. Really. I’m not upset,” he swears. “All of this is definitely a huge surprise. It’s the biggest. Obviously, I didn’t expect any of this, but, Haz, that’s not necessarily a _bad_ thing.”

Louis looks at him from across the table like he’s in a weird dream state instead of some sick nightmare.

“I’m going to have a kid. I’m going to be a parent. A _dad_ ,” he breathes. He has come to that conclusion a lot faster than Harry did. It took him months to get his head around the idea. It’s something he is very much still working on.

“Well, technically _we’re_ going to have a kid and we’re _both_ going to be dads,” Harry points out. “He’s kind of half-mine. I’ve been keeping him warm for you all this time,” he says jokingly, giving his stomach a small rub over his shirt.

He said it to lighten the mood, instantly regretting it when his words do the exact opposite and Louis’ gaze turns heavy and apologetic.

“I wish I could’ve been there for you. I’m so sorry I wasn’t.”

Harry grins to show there are no hard feelings. “It’s okay, Lou. You didn’t know. That wasn’t your fault.” He refuses to let Louis blame himself. They wouldn’t even be sitting here together right now if it weren’t for Louis. Harry can’t thank him enough.

Louis reaches across the table to squeeze his hand. “I want to be there for you now though. Every day,” he promises. “For both of you.”

Harry squeezes back with a full heart. His family was right. He did fall for Louis in Hawaii for a reason; it’s because he’s amazing.

*

Louis walks him out to his car after they took so long inside the restaurant that the wait staff had to practically kick them out so they could start closing. It’s a good thing too, otherwise they probably would have stayed there until morning just talking and laughing.

Harry had come into tonight thinking he’d end up leaving it with a broken heart or worse, but instead he’s going home wearing a huge grin fondly rolling his eyes at Louis insisting that he has that special glow people are always going on about with pregnant people.

“I’m more and more convinced every day that it’s just a constant sheen of sweat from boiling at night. It’s not a real thing,” Harry jokes.

Louis skeptically looks him over from head to toe which clearly only serves to further convince himself that he’s right. “It _is_ a real thing. You’re bloody radiant. Deal with it.” Harry barks out a laugh at his order, accepting Louis’ theory even though he still disagrees with it. Harry has always thought that his body was a little awkward. He thinks so even more now that he’s pregnant, but if people like Louis want to find beauty in his giant stomach then he’s not going to argue.

They walk until they’re standing beside Harry’s car. He sighs, wishing this delightfully surprising evening with Louis didn’t have to end. He thought tonight would be a disaster considering what he had to do. Out of all the scenarios he envisioned he never once expected to actually have _fun_.

“Your next appointment is on Thursday, right? At one?”

“Yeah. Thursday at one,” Harry confirms.

He can’t believe Louis actually remembered that. Harry was just as surprised nearly an hour ago when Louis asked him about it in the first place.

“Alright. I’ll be there,” he promises as he kindly unlocks Harry’s car door for him and holds it open.

“Okay. If you want,” Harry says as he gets in on the driver’s side. “But it’s just a check-up, so. It’s not really a big deal.”

“Yeah, I know. But it’ll be my first one so it feels like a big deal to me,” Louis says. “I want to be there.” Harry has gotten pretty used to going to his doctor’s visits alone or having his family members tagging along with him. It’ll be nice to have Louis there for a change.

Louis continues holding the door open for him, fondly watching on as Harry fights to pull his safety belt across his middle. It didn’t use to be as difficult of a task as it has recently become. He often wonders how he’s even going to fit inside the bloody car by month number nine.

“Thank you so much for coming to dinner with me,” he says once Harry is settled and comfortable behind the wheel. “I had a lot of fun seeing you. I had been looking forward to it all week. I drove my friends insane,” he chuckles.

“And did I live up to your high expectations?” Harry chuckles darkly knowing that this night turned out to be more of a secret reveal than a date, but he had no choice but to tell Louis about the baby.

“Are you kidding?” Louis grins back, “You’ve surpassed every one of them. There was great conversation, I got a great meal, some amazing dessert, a whole _baby_ I didn’t previously know anything about,” he teases. “Hands down the single best date I’ve ever been on.” Harry is mid-cackle when Louis bends down to kiss his cheek. “Goodnight. And thanks again.”

“Goodnight,” Harry says back to him, thoughtlessly turning his head before Louis has pulled away. Their lips barely even brush, but it’s enough to make Harry’s breath catch in his throat.

Louis doesn’t seem to mind their close proximity at all, grinning before gently angling Harry’s chin up to connect their lips.

It’s the first time that Harry’s been kissed since Hawaii and it’s no less thrilling than it was on the beach in the middle of the rain. He’s hardly even breathing when Louis pulls away. “Drive safe,” he says to which Harry just nods, his brain still mostly set to static. “Text me when you make it home so I know you got there?” he asks.

Harry answers with another dumb nod, his lips already feeling the absence of Louis’ when he stands back to shut his car door. Harry rolls the window down as soon as it closes.

“I- I’ll see you in a couple of days, right? On Thursday?” Harry feels a little desperate having Louis confirm that this isn’t the last time they’ll see each other, but in his defense, the last time they separated after a wonderful night together Louis was nowhere to be found for six whole months.

Louis’ eyes crinkle up as he chuckles to himself. “Yeah, Haz. I’ll be there. One o’clock. I wouldn’t miss it.”

Harry holds onto that promise the whole drive home putting a lot more faith into it than he probably should at this stage of their reconnection, but just knowing that Louis wants to try to be in their baby’s life makes him so happy.

The fact that he still likes Harry enough to kiss him like he’s been aching to do so and coincidentally take Harry’s breath away is just an added bonus.

*

Harry sighs from his office sofa the next day as Gemma tries in vain to organize all of the papers and documents that have accumulated on top of his desk in the last few weeks. Harry usually cleans it off himself. He meant to do it last Monday but then Monday turned into Tuesday, and then Tuesday turned into ‘ _it’s never happening,_ ’ so naturally his big sister noticed, realized he was completely useless, and decided to do it herself. What else are siblings for really?

“Do you need these or can I shred them?” she asks, holding up a stack of reports that Harry has been searching for forever. And by forever, he means since this morning when he stumbled into work still so buzzed off of seeing Louis last night that he couldn’t focus for more than five minutes at a time.

“Yes, I need those. I need everything that’s up there,” Harry repeats since she obviously didn’t hear him the first dozen times he said it.

“Oh, really?” Gemma wedges an adult coloring book out from the middle of the pile and holds it up with a flat expression. “You sure about that, little bro?” _Yes_ , he is. He likes that book a lot. It helps him unwind.

“As a matter of fact, I do need that. I have a very high-stress job. Dr. Payne says it’s good for me to do things that help me stay relaxed,” he echoes almost verbatim. She just rolls her eyes, placing his book in the middle drawer of his desk with his very adult crayons where it belongs.

“What time is your appointment tomorrow anyway?” she asks distractedly. “I got permission to leave for it, but I couldn’t remember when exactly you said.”

“Oh. Er…” Harry winces when he remembers that he also promised Louis he could come to his appointment this time. Gemma stops rifling through all of his things when she catches the hesitation.

“What?” Her tone goes from slightly offended to hurt in an instant. “You don’t want me to go anymore?” Harry sits up to look her in the eye.

“No, Gems, it’s not that. You know I love it when you come with me, it’s just… Louis is going too and it’s kind of a big deal for him.” It’s a huge deal actually. This is their son he just found out about. It’s a lot to take in. “I sort of want him to have this one on his own, if that makes sense?” he explains.

Harry’s family rarely lets him go to these check-ups alone. They’ve all supported him through this every step of the way, but this is Louis’ first opportunity to be there for him as well. Louis has never even met the members of his family. It would be too much all at once to have Gemma there. The more he thinks about it the more he convinces himself that this first appointment is something that he and Louis should do together anyway.

His sister looks less offended after she has stopped pouting and has heard him out.

“Alright. I get it. I’ll give you two some breathing room,” she says going back to her organizing. She stops a few seconds later with wide green eyes that match his own. “But…Louis being here now doesn’t mean I can _never_ go with you again, right? It’s just tomorrow?”

Harry grins at her being unabashedly jealous of the father of his child over something as small as check-up privileges.

“Of course,” he assures her. “You, mum, and Niall can all come to the next one if you want. We’ll make it a thing. An event. It’ll be great.”

Having that many people in one room together to stare at his stomach sounds like hell on Earth, but Gemma seems happier at the prospect of it.

“Aww, all of us would be together. Even the baby,” she smiles. “That’ll be lovely, Haz.”

 _Hell on Earth_ is still the phrase that comes to mind, but if it keeps his family members from whining and feeling left out then he’s all for it.

*

To Harry’s extreme delight, Louis is waiting outside Dr. Payne’s office building on Thursday afternoon just as promised.

“How long have you been waiting out here?” Harry asks. A quick glance at his phone screen confirms that Louis is indeed over ten minutes early just like himself. He left the hospital sooner than necessary to prevent this very thing from happening. It seems Louis had the same idea.

“Oh, I only got here a little while ago,” he shrugs. “Didn’t want to be late since I’ve got you _and_ a scary new obstetrician to impress. I can’t believe his name is really Payne. It just seems wrong,” he jokes.

Louis steps forward to meet him the rest of the way for a warm hug. Harry can’t lie and say that he’s not a bit disappointed when he doesn’t receive a kiss as well. He mentally rolls his eyes at himself because it’s only been a matter of days, he and Louis aren’t even really together, and he’s already a spoiled little shit. He can’t help it.

He notices that Louis looks quite nervous behind that smile when he pulls back to stare up at the building. He lets out a deep breath before turning to meet Harry’s gaze again, clearly feeling the significance of today weighing on him now that it’s time to go inside.

“Ready for this?” Harry grins.

“Nope. Not at all,” he laughs, “But I’m excited anyway.” Strangely enough, Harry is too.

Everyone who works inside the office knows Harry and his entire support system by now so it’s understandable that their interests are piqued seeing Louis walk in with him. Louis stays close by his side and follows behind him as they’re escorted to one of the examination rooms. The nurses all greet Harry with bright hello’s, clearly intrigued by his new guest with the bright blue eyes taking everything in around him for the first time.

Dr. Payne looks at Louis in the same curious fashion once he steps into their room and notices a new face.

“Dr. Payne, this is Louis. Louis, this is Dr. Payne.” Harry introduces them, grinning a few seconds later when his doctor’s face lights up with recognition.

“Wait. Louis as in _the_ Louis?” he asks. “You _found_ him?”

Harry nods, slightly embarrassed that he has cried and gushed about him so much throughout his pregnancy that Louis’ name now precedes him. Whoops.

“Well, he kind of found _me_ really,” Harry admits with a shrug. The details of how they reconnected don’t matter as much as how important it is that Louis is here.

“That’s amazing! It’s so nice to meet you, Louis. And congratulations,” Dr. Payne grins. “I’m happy to finally get to say that to you. To _both_ of you.” Louis is wearing a little grin of his own when he thanks Dr. Payne who isn’t as scary as he was clearly anticipating.

Louis stands back, watching on with interest as the doctor begins by whipping out his stupid tape measure and Harry is forced to stand up to see how much bigger he is from last time.

“Eighty-two centimeters around,” he happily reports to the room. Harry _hates_ when he does that.

He sighs disappointedly as Dr. Payne scribbles it down next to the seventy-nine from before. He forgets that Louis is right next to him and doesn’t know that Harry has been having that same reaction for months.

“Is eighty-two normal?” he asks with a furrowed brow.

“Yes, very much so,” Dr. Payne grins. “Harry has actually stayed on the smaller side of the scale as far as baby bumps go, but good luck convincing _him_ of that.”

“I’m literally right here,” Harry reminds both of them, rolling his eyes when Louis and his doctor give each other an amused look over his head. He may as well have brought Niall along. He’s just as annoying.

Harry gets all of his usual check-up tests done, saving the ultrasound for last as always. Louis has been very attentive the entire appointment; quiet for the most part, but asking questions whenever he has them. He gets fidgety and antsy once Harry is asked to lie back to get coated in the weird cold gel that he no longer even bats an eye at.

It used to make Harry feel strange to see his baby moving around up on the screen, especially before he was able to feel it. Now, Harry actually looks forward to seeing him each visit. He mostly just enjoys the fact that he no longer resembles a wobbly grey blob. Harry can see his little hands and nose and everything.

Everyone else who usually accompanies Harry to these check-ups has seen his baby a zillion times by now. The novelty and emotional shock of it all has long since worn off for them, but not for Louis.

This is his first time seeing his son. _Their_ son. His cheeks are even wetter than they were earlier in the week when Harry told him he was going to be a dad, and somehow he even manages to look ten times happier about it. He smiles as Dr. Payne does his routine measurements of the baby and listens in to his quick little heartbeats. Apparently, he’s looking and sounding just fine; a stellar report that just makes Louis teary-eyed all over again.

Dr. Payne prints off a new picture for each of them. Harry raises his eyebrows in surprise when Louis asks for a printout of all the other ultrasounds he’s missed and a few extra copies as well for his friends and family. Evidently, they are all just as excited about Louis becoming a dad as Harry’s family is when it comes to him. Harry hadn’t even considered the fact that their baby will be gaining an even bigger family as well as another parent with Louis now in the picture. He wants their baby to have the best life possible, so really, the more the merrier.

Harry rushes back to the hospital after their appointment even though he really would’ve preferred to stick around and hang out with Louis some more since he took off the whole day.

He wonders what Louis is doing with so much free time the entire time he’s working. If this were Hawaii, Louis would most definitely be out on the water, probably trying to clear his head. He had quite the day meeting Dr. Payne and their son all for the first time. It’s understandable if he needs some time and space to process. Harry definitely did.

He leaves the hospital a little before nine that night which is pretty late for him these days. Between his early dinner date with Louis a few days ago and the amount of time he spent freaking out about it beforehand he needed to stay late tonight just to catch up. It’s been a busy day, and as always, he’s exhausted. He gets a phone call before he can even pull out of his parking spot, his tired sigh turning into an excited gasp when he sees who it is.

“Louis?”

“Hey. I’m glad you answered,” he says in return. “I was afraid you might still be working.”

“I’m actually just getting into my car to leave so great timing on your part,” Harry tells him. “So, what’s up? How are you?” Hopefully already finished processing and needing space. Harry assumes everything is okay. Louis doesn’t sound like there is anything in particular bothering him. Mostly, Louis just sounds happy to be talking to him.

“Nothing much really... I know it’s super late, but I was just wondering if you’re busy or if you’re possibly interested in another late dinner?” Harry bites down on a grin, his exhaustion completely forgotten just imagining the way Louis’ probably chewing at his bottom lip. “You probably have,” Louis continues. “I mean, I know you have a whole cafeteria there so it’s not like you can’t just drop by and order food whenever you want it. Come to think of it, that’s probably _exactly_ what you did,” he chuckles to himself.

Harry has no idea why that makes him laugh too.

“Louis,” he smiles. “I _hate_ the food in our cafeteria.” A simple fact that Aiden has never seemed to grasp.

“Yeah? Well, that’s brilliant. Does that mean you’re hungry?”

“Starving. I was going to cook something quick at home but we can go out somewhere instead. Wherever you want.”

“We don’t have to go anywhere special,” Louis assures him. “I’m sure you’re exhausted after your long day and I’d actually love to see your place…if that’s not too forward of course.”

Harry snorts at that. “I’m seven months pregnant with our kid right now. I think all the initial dating lines have already been crossed.”

He can hear Louis laughing on his side of the phone. He loves that sound so much. He didn’t realize how much he has been missing it all this time.

“You’re right. Our timeline is completely fucked. So, dinner at yours it is?”

Harry’s skin tingles all over just hearing him ask. As if Harry would ever say no.

“Yeah, okay,” he quickly agrees. “I’m leaving right now so I’ll text you my address. I only live about ten minutes from the hospital.”

“Great. Me too,” Louis jokes. Harry sometimes forgets that he’s so close. “I’ll meet you there. And I’ll bring food,” he promises. “You’re not cooking after working all day. I won’t allow it.”

“Alright,” Harry chuckles because that sounds fucking splendid. It’s not like he’s going to argue.

“Do you have any special requests? I can pick up anything.”

Harry rubs over his stomach and says the first hot, delicious thing that comes to mind.

“Pizza?”

“Done,” Louis proclaims. “But don’t tell me you’re one of those boring types who only eats cheese,” he mumbles.

“Nope. The more toppings the better,” he grins. Harry cackles when Louis responds with, _‘I knew there was a reason I liked you.’_

\---

Louis knocks on his door forty minutes later and Harry feels just as light and giddy as he did a few nights ago at the restaurant when Louis first appeared through those doors.

He does another quick scan of his flat as he hurries through it to let him in, thankful it wasn’t a complete wreck tonight like it sometimes is.

When he opens the door, Louis is balancing two large pizza boxes in the palm of one hand and a bag full of sweets in the other that would probably give his sister an aneurysm. She’s always trying to limit his intake of excess sugar for the baby’s sake, but one night of reckless fun won’t hurt either of them. And also, what Gemma doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

Harry steps aside to let Louis in, his face breaking out into a huge grin when Louis makes up for leaving him hanging earlier and kisses him on the cheek in the process.

“The pizza took longer than it was supposed to. Sorry to keep you waiting. I know you said you were starving.”

“No, you’re right on time,” Harry assures him. Harry needed those extra minutes to fix his flat and to fix himself so he looks presentable. He’s used to wearing nothing but his underwear when he’s here alone. That was his typical wardrobe even before he got pregnant. Finding something appropriate and comfortable that covers his stomach was a lot harder than he thought it was going to be.   

Harry takes the pizza and leads the way to the kitchen to get some plates. He glances over his shoulder a few times to find Louis’ curious eyes darting around the flat.

“Your place is just like you,” he comments, making it sound more like a compliment than anything else. Louis has an uncanny knack for making everything sound that way.

“Thank you. My mum and sister helped me decorate it though. I didn’t really have the time to shop for stuff after I moved in.” He was too busy getting acquainted with his new role as surgeon at the hospital. All Harry really contributed towards his décor was picking out his heavenly mattress. Other than that, he didn’t really care what they bought for him but it’s good to know that they did a good job capturing his personality.

“Would you like a grand tour? We can eat on the way,” Harry suggests. He plates up their pizza, breathing in the scent of all the wonderful toppings piled on top of it that thankfully don’t smell like anything besides completely delicious. He hands one of the plates off to Louis and begins the tour without any other preamble. “So, this is the kitchen,” he begins. “It’s where I put pizza onto plates and occasionally cook things that are mostly edible.”

Louis snorts around the mouthful of pizza he’s chewing. “So, basically I should never eat something that you’ve made? Good to know,” he teases.

Harry likes making Louis laugh so he keeps it up for the rest of the tour, showing him the master bedroom, his guest bedroom, the little balcony that he hasn’t used even once, and finally, his living room that he only sits in when he has guests; which doesn’t happen very often since he works so much and is never actually here.

After the grand tour they flop down on the sofa to watch tv and continue working on their food. They make a pretty good dent in the pizza, though they eventually trade it for all of the chocolate and candy that Louis brought for dessert.

Harry doesn’t eat a lot of it from fear of Gemma being able to somehow smell the junk food on him from wherever she is right now, but it’s nice to break the rules a bit. The baby hasn’t really moved in the last hour or so. Harry guesses he was napping, however he’s wide awake now. Most likely from the sudden sugar rush.

He places a hand over his stomach and taps his fingers over it after a particularly strong kick makes him gasp. Harry glances over at Louis quietly sitting next to him, almost forgetting that he’s even there from how raptly he’s watching Harry interact with their extremely active son.

“Is he moving around a lot?” he smiles.

“Yeah, he is. I’m pretty sure he’s breakdancing in there,” Harry laughs. “He does that from time to time.” Mostly whenever Harry’s trying to sleep he has noticed, but he doesn’t mind. He likes feeling him move.

Louis grins at his belly from where he’s sitting, the sudden longing in his eyes all too familiar as he watches. “It’s so cool that you get to feel him. I bet it’s amazing.”

It is, which is why Louis should get to feel it too.

“Quick. Give me your hand,” Harry says after a series of little taps to the left of his navel.

He rolls up his shirt and Louis blinks at him in dumb panic like he’s going to decline from fear of overstepping somehow. Harry grabs his wrist before he can say no and splays his hand across the spot where he has felt the most movement in the last few minutes.

They have to wait a bit before their son is ready to move again. Louis gasps when he finally does, smiling bigger than Harry has ever seen. “ _Woah_.” Harry had the same reaction the first time it happened to him.

“I know. Weird right?”

“No, it’s not weird. I love it,” Louis says, laughing to himself with crinkled eyes when the baby moves again.  

He scoots closer to Harry after a while, confidently placing both hands against him. At first, Harry has to instruct him where to lightly press to prompt the baby to move but Louis soon figures it out on his own, his eyes even more bright and crinkled each time he feels faint pressure against his palms.

“What do you call him?” he asks once the kicks become less frequent.

“I don’t really call him anything, I’m afraid,” Harry admits. “I always feel weird trying to talk to him.”

Dr. Payne says the baby has been able to hear him for months now. Harry tests this theory out on occasion when he’s by himself but it’s strange having a conversation with your own stomach.

“Have you already picked a name?” Louis asks. Harry feels like a bad parent again because he hasn’t done that either. There’s a whole list of things that Harry hasn’t done yet and it’s only getting longer from shopping for newborn supplies to figuring out how the hell he’s going to work a baby into his already crazy work schedule.

“Er…no, not yet. My family has thrown some names out, but I haven’t really considered any of them.” He hasn’t had the time.

“Well, that’s okay,” Louis assures him. “You still have two whole months to go.” Harry can’t believe seven months have already passed. It feels like they have flown by. “We can give him a cool nickname in the meantime.”

Maybe having something to call him would make it easier for Harry to talk to him. It’s worth a shot anyway. “Okay. What do you suggest?”

“We could call him something quirky. People do that.”

“Alright. Like what?” Harry grins.

“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “He’s pretty much the size of a little coconut. Ooh, or a pineapple. It’s fitting since he _was_ conceived in Hawaii,” he says matter-of-factly making Harry laugh.

“Okay, we are _not_ nicknaming our kid coconut. No fruits or any other edible things.”

“Does that mean vegetables are off limits too?” He swears under his breath when Harry nods his head. “And I was so counting on the name cabbage,” he jokes. Harry pictures his sister’s face after hearing the baby referred to as the cabbage and decides right then that he’s going to say it tomorrow just for a laugh.

“Alright then. So, quirky food names are out.” Louis concedes, still gently rubbing over Harry’s stomach as he thinks of something else. “Houis maybe? Or Larry? Oooor maybe not,” he snorts when Harry gives him a flat face. “How about we just call him something simple like Little Man. That’s kind of cute.”

Harry actually really likes that. It grows on him the longer it sinks in. “That’s a good one,” Harry agrees.

“Little Man it is then,” Louis grins. “It’s official.”

Harry loves seeing him so happy and excited about their son. He doesn’t know how he ever thought Louis wouldn’t want to be a part of this when he has never seen someone more thrilled to be a future parent.

The baby isn’t kicking anymore. He’s probably fast asleep by now, but Louis still leans in close to talk to him. “Goodnight, Little Man. Love you already,” he whispers before pressing his lips right over Harry’s navel and Harry’s breath catches from the unexpected warmth of his mouth. People touch his belly all the time but no one has ever kissed it.

Louis sits up and kisses Harry next, making his breath stutter with every soft brush of his lips as he gently pulls Harry in.

Harry can taste the chocolate on his tongue from earlier as he chases it. Louis grins against his mouth when Harry bites at his bottom lip to turn the kiss more heated. He moves to follow Harry when he rests his back against the arm of the sofa but makes sure not to go much further than that.

Their pace begins to slow as Louis pulls back enough to kiss Harry’s jaw and both cheeks. He smiles and presses one more lingering kiss to his lips before pulling away completely. Harry sits up when Louis does, already missing his warmth after finally getting it back after so long.

“…Is something wrong?” he asks. There must be for Louis to stop them from kissing like that. “Is it the baby? I know it’s a little weird...”

“No, it’s not that at all, love,” Louis hurries to assure him with a kiss to his left hand. “I just think we should move a bit slower this time around. Hawaii was amazing, but we don’t have to rush here. We have time.”

Harry processes that and feels significantly less rejected.

“ _This time_ around?” he grins, realizing what that implies. “So, does that mean we’re really going to do this?”

With the way things have been going, Harry had assumed that they might try making it work at some point in the future. He figured Louis didn’t spend all that time tracking him down for nothing, but that was before he knew about the baby. Harry doesn’t really know where they stand in terms of a relationship with each other or even what they’re doing right now; just that it feels good and most importantly, it feels right.

Louis uses one hand to squeeze Harry’s and then places the other against his stomach. “Of course we are,” he smiles. “I’m already all in. I told you before that I want to be here for both of you and I meant it, Haz. I’m not going anywhere.”

Harry has been all in since the moment they met. It’s nice to know he isn’t the only one.

*

Life with Louis in the picture was already pretty great but now that they’ve committed to each other and to their son it’s amazing.

Being eight months pregnant sucks a lot worse than being six or seven months pregnant, but even his awful days when he’s falling apart aren’t quite so bad because Louis is always there to pick him up and put him back together.

These days Harry comes home to fresh flowers, home-cooked meals that aren’t expired, and long baby to-do lists that have already been taken care of without Harry even asking him to do so. Louis does so much for them every day from converting Harry’s guestroom into a nursery (something Harry would have _never_ had the time to do on his own) to taking over the weekly grocery shopping so Gemma doesn’t have to do it anymore. He still sleeps at his own flat most nights, but he’s at Harry’s every chance he gets; sometimes he comes over to do baby stuff or help tidy-up the flat to save Harry the trouble, sometimes it’s just to be a boyfriend to kiss Harry and cuddle him whenever he needs it. And God, does Harry need it.

Working at the hospital has always been hard but it feels grueling now that he’s so pregnant that his stomach gets in the way at every turn. He feels huge whenever he’s in the operating room with all the tiny tools he has to manipulate over the roundness of his belly. Hanging out on the floor of the playroom to stare at the fish tank isn’t really an option anymore either since crouching down like that for too long makes it difficult to breathe.

There’s a whole list of new frustrations that Dr. Payne assures him are completely normal including the decrease in how often his baby moves around. Apparently his body can only expand so much to accommodate him, so there’s less room in there for cartwheels and breakdancing every night. Harry still can’t sleep though. Not with the size and pressure from his stomach making it nearly impossible. Harry used to be terrified of getting to his ninth month, but now the thought of this kid no longer sitting on top of his bladder sounds like a blessing, even if he does end up screaming all night instead.

“What’s wrong, love?” Louis whispers one night Harry feels so wound-up and restless that he practically begged Louis to stay over with him.

Harry rolls his eyes at his question though. There’s so much wrong that he sort of wants to cry.

“I can’t get comfortable,” he sighs.

All he has wanted to do all day is sleep and now that he has the chance to do it he can’t.

Louis scratches through the back of his hair in comfort. “I’m sorry he’s giving you a hard time tonight, babe.”

“It’s not your fault. And it’s not the baby. It’s me.”

“Well, it’s _kind of_ my fault,” Louis jokes. “I definitely won’t be suggesting we do it without a condom anytime soon.” Harry doesn’t laugh. “Okay, I’m sorry. Do you want to try the pillow? That helps sometimes, right?”

Harry hates that fucking pillow. It does release pressure on his stomach, but it’s so large and smothering that he sweats after lying on it for more than a couple of minutes at a time.

“No,” he whines. “I just want to get some sleep like a normal person. It’s already past midnight. I have to be up so early tomorrow and so do you.”

He’s so anxious about not getting any sleep and being tired all day tomorrow that he’s working himself up even more. Louis notices and immediately gets out of bed. He returns a few minutes later with some crackers, a warm mug of chamomile tea, and the pillow that Harry wishes he could take a knife to wedged under his arm.

He gives Harry the food and the tea to drink while he turns up the air in the flat. Next, he plugs the fan into the wall across the room and aims it right at Harry’s side of the bed. He molds the pillow to fit around Harry’s body and support it once he’s done with his late-night snack and then smiles in admiration of his handiwork.

“Feel better?”

“Kind of,” he nods. “Thank you for trying to help.”

He _is_ a lot less on edge now, but he’s still not relaxed enough to sleep which becomes evident when he attempts to lie down again and huffs out another frustrated sigh.

Louis crawls back into bed with him, moving until his front is almost pressed to Harry’s back, but he’s still giving him some space as they lie there. Harry sighs at the first few presses of Louis’ mouth to his shoulder blade, enjoying the little goose bumps that rise up in their wake.

Louis moves to kiss down his neck after a while and scoots closer until they are flush together. He tries to relax into the gentle hold that Louis has around him, but he’s tensing up.

Harry usually has no complaints when Louis showers him with affection this way but tonight he’s such a mess that he starts to feel crowded. He’s just about to tell Louis that he can’t handle it tonight when he slips a hand down the front of his underwear and starts to slowly jerk him off. The words die on his lips before he can even push them out.

It’s such a shock to Harry’s system that he sucks in a sharp breath at the feeling of Louis’ hand around him. He and Louis have been together for a few weeks now, but besides the one night they spent together in Hawaii, they haven’t done much fooling around. Him being pregnant makes everything more than a little awkward including the way they kiss since neither of them can really lie on top of the other. Harry generally doesn’t even get himself off now unless it’s absolutely necessary, and even then he’s very mechanical about it. Louis touching him doesn’t feel like that though. It isn’t awkward and it doesn’t feel strange. It just feels _good_.

“You alright?”

Harry nods against Louis’ lips pressed just behind his ear. He’s more than just fucking alright.

Louis keeps working his hand around him until Harry’s breathing starts to pick up. The movements stop after just a few seconds causing Harry to nearly choke from the sudden loss. Thankfully, Louis moves fast, tearing back the sheets to settle down between Harry’s thighs.

Harry can’t really see what he’s doing over his belly but he can fucking feel it when Louis licks around his tip and then slowly takes him down his throat.

“ _Oh my God_ ,” Harry groans to the ceiling, pushing his giant pillow out of the way and clinging to the sheets for dear life as Louis moans around him.

He wishes he could see exactly how wide Louis’ lips are stretched around him. He knows it’s a beautiful sight. He remembers from the last time they did this in Louis’ hotel room at the resort. It’s not a bad image at all. Harry was half in love with him that night with how easily Louis could toss him around and get a little rough with him when he wanted to, but then he was also so patient and gentle. Just like right now as he slowly coaxes Harry to the edge.

It doesn’t take long for Harry to come. He hardly even gets to warn Louis before he shoots down the back of his throat, but he doesn’t even seem to mind at all as he wipes the back of his hand over his grin.

Harry wants to return the favor after he has caught his breath. He moves to do just that, but Louis tells him to stay where he is and worry about getting some rest he needs instead of taking care of him.

He does feel much more relaxed now that he isn’t so restless. All the anxiety he felt deep in his chest is gone. He isn’t even gross and sweaty after such a pleasant turn of events because Louis knew to turn on the fan before he got started. Harry wonders if the man is a genius. It adds up.  

“But- I can pay you back later though, right?” he checks as Louis fits his pillow back around him.

His eyelids feel heavy enough to close and stay that way if Harry would only let them. He feels Louis press a kiss to his temple and his eyes flutter shut.

“Of course, babe,” he whispers. “Just when you’re less tired.” Louis resumes scratching his nails through the back of his hair like before and uses his other hand to rub his back and lull him right to sleep.

Harry nods in response, half-way gone already. That sounds like a great plan. He’ll get right on that.

*

Harry wakes up before his alarm the next morning. He looks over his shoulder to find Louis still fast asleep and grins just like every other morning he has found Louis still lying beside him. He keeps expecting Louis to sneak out to go catch a plane back home like he had to in Hawaii, but then he remembers that Louis isn’t going anywhere. He’s already home.

He stirs eventually when Harry’s work alarm rings. His blue eyes focus in on Harry watching him and he smiles.

“Where’s your magical pillow?” he drawls, noticing Harry is no longer intertwined with it.

“On the floor where it belongs,” Harry smirks.

“Perfect. That makes it ten times easier for me to kiss you good morning,” he says before pulling Harry over the last few inches separating them.

Harry melts into him, wishing he didn’t have to ever get up. Just once he’d like to appreciate a morning with Louis that didn’t have to be cut so short.

“I have to go soon,” he sighs. “…I’m still so tired.”

Louis’ eyes are almost sparkling in the morning sun when he pulls back to see him.

“Then don’t go. It’s Saturday. You’re not going to be doing anyone any favors by showing up exhausted,” he says. “Just take the day off.”

Harry could never do that.

“No, I can’t. I took a sick day a couple of months ago.”

Louis rolls his eyes. “Yeah, you said you took _one_ sick day and then actually used it to see a _doctor_ ,” he mumbles.

Harry takes offense to that. He also got a very productive haircut that day. That was living on the edge for him.

“I can’t, Louis. I couldn’t do that to Aiden.” He’s at the hospital right now. If Harry doesn’t come in he’ll have to pull a double. Harry knows from experience whenever Aiden calls out sick that doubles are not very fun.

“Why not? He’s done it to you _and_ you said he’s an insensitive dick anyway,” Louis points out. “Come on, Haz. Be irresponsible just this once,” he begs. “I’ll even do it with you.” He doesn’t have to work at the school today since it’s the weekend, but he is scheduled to give piano lessons at one of the music centers starting at nine. “I’ll call right now and cancel everything for today. You just have to say the word,” he smiles.

He doesn’t wait for Harry to say anything before snatching up his phone to call somebody named Kelsey and lie straight through his teeth about catching the flu that isn’t even going around anymore. He hangs up, looking so incredibly proud of himself that Harry bursts out laughing.

Louis grabs Harry’s phone from the bedside table next and places it in his hands.

“I’ve already called out so you _have_ to do it now or else I’ll have no one to hang out with,” he pouts. “And plus we’ve been plotting in bed so long now that even if you do go in to work, you’ll be late. Might as well just not even go,” he reasons with a woeful sigh.

He makes a convincing argument and is wearing an even more convincing, devilish smile that Harry can’t say no to. He can’t believe he’s really doing this when he pulls up the number to admin. Louis quickly coaches him through what to say.

“Right. So, you tell them you’re sick, but it’s very important that you’re vague about just _how_ sick you are. You don’t want it to sound so bad that they think you’re dying, but you also don’t want to sound well enough that they think you’re full of shit. See?”

Harry only got about half of that, and he _is_ full of shit. He’s never been very good at lying. He’s awful at it, but he takes a deep breath anyway once he hits dial and pretends like he has contracted some sort of twenty-four hour cold that has confined him to his bed. Surprisingly, Admin buys it. They actually sound very concerned for him since Harry has come to work with colds and a lot worse in the past. They tell him to feel better soon and to take as long as he needs to recover. Harry can’t believe it worked.

“So? How do you feel?” Louis demands to know after he’s hung up the phone and the world hasn’t ended because he did something less than admirable in terms of his job.

“Surprisingly, _not_ that guilty,” he laughs. “It’s so weird.”

“ _No_ ,” Louis insists, “That’s the adrenaline kicking in from being such a fucking rebel! Isn’t it great?”

“Oh, God.” Harry laughs into his palms. “What kind of morals are we teaching our poor kid?” he groans.

“The good kind,” Louis answers immediately. “In fact, let’s make today all about Little Man so he knows how to live right. We can go shopping for that cool rocking chair you said you wanted to put in the nursery for him. We could go do the registry for the shower. We could just take a walk around the park or try out that new restaurant that just opened down the street if you actually don’t want to do baby related things,” he grins. “We can do whatever you want. It’s your day off.”

All of those things sound amazing. Harry wishes they had the time to get through a list that long. He grins to himself realizing that thanks to Louis, they do.

Harry runs his hands over his stomach taking note of the way that it’s growling. “Well, first of all, I want breakfast. I want grease,” he specifies.

“I’d expect nothing less,” Louis teases. “What else?”

“I _do_ want that rocking chair,” he admits. “And I want the baby swing as well.”

Louis gives a single nod. “Done. I’ll even assemble them tonight.”

Harry thinks about what else he’d like to do today that he usually doesn’t have time for.

“I haven’t seen my mum in a while... I’ve also only met your family a couple of times. I’d like to get to know them better.”

“Then we’ll go visit them. All of them.”

That sounds good. Harry likes the structure of their free day so far, but there’s still one more thing they need to do that keeps getting pushed to the side and eclipsed by everything else going on.

“And last, I want to go to yours and finish packing up the rest of your things so we can officially move them all here.”

Louis’ eyes crinkle up as he smiles. Harry will never tire of watching them do that.

“I’d like that a lot,” he whispers with a squeeze to his hand.

They’ve been talking about moving in together for weeks now. They aren’t even bothering with making a nursery for Louis’ flat because he’s not going to be living there. He’s going to live here where he belongs.

“Well, that’s quite the day you’ve planned for us,” Louis says after a beat. “We’d better get up.” He moves to leave the bed to go get dressed but Harry places a hand on his arm to keep him there.

Harry kisses him, slow and deep, hoping Louis knows how grateful he is just to have him.

“Thank you for today,” he whispers against his lips. It hasn’t even really started yet, but Harry already knows it’s going to be amazing. “And, also, thank you for last night.” Louis moans when Harry holds him still to lick into his mouth.

He tries to tell Harry that he doesn’t have to do this if he doesn’t want to the whole time he’s being maneuvered to sit at the edge of the bed so Harry can kneel on the floor in front of him. He stops arguing once Harry gets his mouth around him. After that, all Harry hears is his boyfriend’s beautiful moans filling the air.

They’ve got a whole list of things to get done, but even their official free day can wait for this.

*

Everyone who usually accompanies Harry to see Dr. Payne is busy for his next appointment. They all offer to move their schedules around so he doesn’t have to go alone of course, but Harry tells them it’s not necessary. He’s basically a pro at these check-ups by now, and so Harry gets the coveted honor of his first ninth-month visit all to himself where he learns that his stomach has gotten even bigger, peeing every fifteen minutes is going to continue being a thing, and that in a few short weeks, he’s finally going to meet his son because his due date is quickly approaching.

Nine months felt like an eternity when Harry first realized he was pregnant; it wasn’t, but it sure felt like it sometimes, especially in the beginning without Louis by his side. That all changed the moment Louis came back into his life. Harry has heard that being happy makes time fly and he now agrees completely because he feels like he hasn’t even had time to blink between his and Louis’ first official date and Dr. Payne standing in front of him right now talking him through the process of his C-section.

Harry is trying his best to focus and listen to him. The operation he’s going to undergo in order to safely give birth to his and Louis’ son is incredibly important but Harry can’t turn off his brain. He can’t help wondering if time also flies when you’re in love. That would definitely explain how the past two months have gone by so quickly.

“So, I have a few questions,” Harry says when Dr. Payne finishes giving him the run down on the epic scar he’s about to earn on his lower stomach from his incision. His brain may have been tuning in and out about his surgery just now, but he definitely heard that part.

“I figured you’d have questions. You usually do,” Dr. Payne grins.

Harry rolls his eyes. He doesn’t ask _that_ many questions. He just likes to be well-informed and aware of what’s going on at all times. There’s nothing Type A or wrong with that.

“Go on, Harry. What’s concerning you?” his doctor encourages him.

“Louis will get to be there with me, right? The whole time?” Harry doesn’t think he could do this without him. In fact, he knows that he couldn’t. If he’s going to do this then he wants Louis there every step of the way.

“Yes, Louis will be in the room with you the entire time. He can even get involved and cut the umbilical cord if he’d like, though some dads don’t want to.”

“He’ll want to,” Harry says on his boyfriend’s behalf. He has no doubt that Louis would be thrilled to be part of their baby’s birth.

“Great. It’ll be a day you’ll both remember forever,” he promises.  

Harry smiles and rubs over his stomach but sighs before continuing with his questions.

“Do I really have to stay out of work for six whole weeks?” he asks next; _complains_ next, really. Six weeks seems a bit excessive for a bloody incision that’ll probably be healed in four. His patients don’t even take that long to recuperate after surgery and they’re kids.

Dr. Payne fixes him with a stern gaze making sure to look Harry right in the eye when he answers with a firm, “ _Yes_ , you do.” Figures. “And like I’ve told you before, six weeks is the _minimum_ recommendation and only for extreme cases. The recommended time off is actually eight weeks.”

 _Eight_ weeks? Harry can’t even fathom being away from the hospital that long. Do they really expect him to willingly give up his patients for two whole months? Dr. Payne raises an eyebrow in challenge when Harry doesn’t seem to take his suggestion seriously.

 _“I will not go back to work before my body is ready_. Say it right now,” he orders.

Harry rolls his eyes again. Like it or not, this is really happening, this baby is going to be here soon, and he _is_ going to have to take some time off. He already has a new resident as his shadow who’s going to be taking his place and working with Aiden while he’s gone. Harry told her she’ll only be there for six weeks after he gives birth and he bloody well meant it, but he does what his doctor tells him to do and promises not to rush into going back.

“ _Fine_. I will not go back to work before I’m ready and blah, blah, whatever. Stay at home. I got it,” he echoes, smirking at his own improvisation at the end.

“Keep that up and I’ll make it _twelve_ weeks,” Dr. Payne warns. Harry doesn’t even flinch. He wouldn’t dare. Dr. Payne fondly shakes his head at him a few seconds later revealing that he’s pretty much all talk anyway. “You’re already so anxious to get back to the hospital after your son is born when you probably won’t even _want_ to go back. You’re going to want every second of those first eight weeks. It’s hard leaving them once they’re here. You’ll see,” he grins knowingly.

Harry doesn’t doubt it. He loves his son so much already, but he loves his job too. He’s certain that he can love them both without sacrificing his role as a father or his role as a surgeon. He doesn’t know how exactly he’s going to pull that off yet, but it must be possible. It has to be.

“Do you have any other questions for me?” Dr. Payne asks. “You said you had a few.”

Harry nods. He just has one more for now that he’s been holding onto for the duration of this appointment. He’s been thinking about it for weeks really, waiting for just the right time to bring it up.

“I want to have sex with Louis,” he finally says. “I want to know if that’s a possibility.”

“You mean, after the baby during your recovery?”

“No. I mean right now while I’m pregnant. I’ve read that it’s safe, but I just want to make sure.” Ever since that night Louis sucked him off the two of them fool around all the time. It’s a lot of fun, but it’s not enough. Harry loves him and he wants to be close with Louis again now before it’s too late and they have to wait six to eight weeks longer.

“Sex can’t hurt the baby. It’s a common concern but it’s perfectly safe as long you and your partner are being careful.”

That’s the best news Harry has heard all day. Dr. Payne grins at the extremely relieved sigh he lets out.

“Been a while, I guess?” he teases.

“Yeah. Almost nine whole months,” Harry reveals. He can’t wait to tell Louis. He hasn’t mentioned a desire to have sex per se, but Harry is certain it’s only because he doesn’t think it’s an option for them right now. It’s either that or he’s just not interested, but Harry sees the way Louis looks at him sometimes so he must at least think about it. Harry certainly does.

“More burning questions?” Dr. Payne asks.

“Nope. That’s all of them,” Harry smiles, satisfied just knowing they don’t have to wait. “Er- I do have a favor to ask though.”

“Sure, Harry. Name it.”

“This is going to sound weird, but could you please text me what you just said about sex not hurting the baby?” He has a feeling he’s going to need hard proof and he’d prefer to not call up Dr. Payne in the dead of night for him to say something obstetrician-y to make Louis believe that he won’t harm him or their son.

“It’s not as strange of a request as you think. You’re actually not the first to ask. I’ll text you as soon as I’m back in my office,” he promises. “I’ll even send a few articles for the two of you to read together in case he’s still on the fence about it.”

Harry honestly couldn’t have chosen a better person to be his doctor nine months ago. He’s convinced it’s fate.

By the time Harry gets home that night he has already talked himself out of his original plan to wait and tell Louis the news over the weekend. It’s only Wednesday and Harry isn’t a very patient person these days. There’s no way he can wait until then so he’s telling him tonight. They’re doing it tonight too, assuming Louis will even want to of course, but he’s keeping his fingers crossed.

He has a hard time opening the front door with his belly in the way and the heavy bags in his hands from his quick detour after he left the hospital. Thankfully he only fumbles with the key for few seconds before the door swings open from the inside.

“Sorry, love,” Louis rasps with wild hair matted down on one side and a pair of drowsy blue eyes; tell-tale signs that he fell asleep again waiting up for him. “I thought the door was already unlocked. I meant to leave it open for you,” he explains.

“No, it’s fine,” Harry assures him. “ _I’m_ sorry I’m so late.”

Harry had thought he would be home over an hour ago around eight o’clock but one of his procedures ran longer than it was supposed to which meant his rounds also ran longer than expected, and then he had to stop off to buy a few things at the store, so really, there was no way he could’ve gotten here on time.

Louis waves off his apology, stepping forward to hold Harry’s cheek, making a sound of contentment just from being able to kiss him after spending so long apart. Harry is a little lightheaded when Louis pulls away with a smile just to press a quick hello kiss to his belly that still flutters every time that he does so.

He takes everything that Harry is carrying including his work bag and then locks the door behind them. They make their way to the kitchen where Harry can smell orange chicken and spring rolls waiting for him from the Chinese place down the street. Louis places the grocery bags next to the food, his curiosity getting the better of him as he tries to peek inside one of them.  

“So, what is all this stuff?”

Harry hands him a plate with Chinese food piled on it to distract him and then puts the shopping bags in the freezer so what he bought doesn’t melt.

“That stuff is for us and it’s a surprise for later,” Harry says with a knowing smirk.

“Oh, yeah?” Louis grins, clearly intrigued. “Well, how much later do you think? Niall came by earlier to see you but you hadn’t gotten here yet. He said he might stop by again.”

Harry freezes with his plate in his hand.

Like hell Niall is coming back here. Harry has big plans for them tonight that will not be ruined.

After dinner and after Harry has texted his best friend to keep his Irish arse at home with his wife where it belongs, he bans Louis from entering the kitchen so he can work on dessert. Louis laughs at the order because it’s usually him banning Harry but he does as he’s told, choosing instead to pester Harry from the living room by entertaining himself with a guessing game about what Harry is up to the whole time he’s carving out the inside of the pineapples he bought.

Harry was able to find a box of mango ice cream at the store but he couldn’t find any kiwi so he ended up settling for coconut instead. He fits several scoops of both types inside the two pineapples with whipped cream and chocolate sauce drizzled on top. The last touch and one of the reasons it took him so long getting home in the first place are the little tropical drink umbrellas he adds on that earned him quite a few scandalized looks because he and his enormous pregnant belly had to venture all the way to the wine aisle to find them; totally worth it.

Louis’ gasps when Harry finally comes into the living room holding his two masterpieces. “Are those what I think and _really_ fucking hope they are?” He sits up on the sofa already making grabby hands for the one Harry holds out in front of him.

“It depends,” Harry laughs. “What do you think they are?”

“Only the best dessert on the entire planet that I’ve been craving for months!” He takes a moment to marvel at the work that went into recreating these and his eyes turn soft. “Haz, I can’t believe you did this for us. This is amazing.”

It’s just fancy ice cream but Harry feels stupidly proud of himself for pulling it off too.

“It’s nothing,” he assures Louis. “I just remember how much you loved these at the resort. They were your favorite thing about the island so I wanted you to have a little piece of it here.”

“Well, _you_ were my favorite thing about the island,” he corrects. “Don’t get me wrong, the food was pretty spectacular, but I wouldn’t have missed it. Not like I missed you.”

Harry can feel his cheeks warming up when Louis momentarily abandons his pineapple on the table to pull him into a slow kiss and recreate that incredibly warm sensation inside Harry’s chest that occurs whenever Louis’ lips touch his.

“Thanks, love,” he whispers when he pulls back. “I didn’t expect this at all.”

Ice cream isn’t the only surprise he’s getting tonight, but Harry nods and tells him he’s more than welcome anyway as they dig in.

“So, what’s the occasion?” Louis asks after they’re half-way done. “What made you want to bring Hawaii home with you all of a sudden?”

“Oh, nothing really,” Harry shrugs. “I just had a little chat with Dr. Payne today that reminded me of you.” Louis’ nose crinkles up as he laughs.

“Really, now? That’s interesting,” he chuckles. “What about?”

“Lots of things,” he begins, “Like, the baby being born in a few weeks for instance, and you getting the chance to help out a little in the delivery room if you want.”

“Wait. I can _help_? Seriously?” He looks as thrilled as Harry predicted he would.

“Mhmm,” Harry nods around a new bite of ice cream, taking Louis’ enthusiasm and running with it while he still can. “It turns out that we can do other things too like have sex because according to Dr. Payne and about a billion other obstetricians and medical professionals it’s not a risk,” Harry seamlessly throws in like a report of the weather. “Er- But only if you want to of course,” he adds when Louis’ face doesn’t light up with excitement like Harry’s did today during his appointment. Maybe he isn’t interested after all.

Louis grins to himself as he lets that brick of random information sink in. Harry waits for him to say something, anything, but Louis sets their ice cream to the side and takes Harry’s hands in his own instead. And shit. It’s not looking good. 

“Haz, listen,” Louis begins. And shit. It’s not sounding too good either.

“You don’t want to.”

“I always want to, Harry. I’m in love with you,” he says. It takes Harry’s heart a few beats to realize it’s the first time either of them has said it out loud. It’s not like Harry ever doubted the way they feel about each other, but it is nice to hear it confirmed.

“I love you too, Louis. So much. That’s the only reason I brought it up. I didn’t mean to pressure you or make you uncomfortable.”

“You didn’t. Not at all. I just figured you wouldn’t want to have sex right now or that you might feel weird about it. The last thing I want to do is hurt you or the baby or make _you_ uncomfortable.” He looks terrified just thinking about it.

“I know that.” Harry pulls out his phone, thankful he had the presence of mind to get his doctor’s approval in written form. “…But you won’t hurt either of us. You can’t.” He gives the phone to Louis and he raises an impressed eyebrow when he sees the novel Dr. Payne typed out specifically for him.

“Wow. I see you’ve both thought this through pretty well,” he laughs.

And it’s a good thing Harry did or else he’d be desperately ringing up Dr. Payne right now so he can get laid.

“It’s been nine months, Louis,” he deadpans. “ _Nine_.”

“Oh, trust me. I know. You’re not the only one whose been counting,” Louis mutters as he scrolls the other things Dr. Payne sent them on the subject. Harry waits as patiently as he can while Louis reads. It’s taking fucking forever.

“It’s one-hundred percent safe,” he chimes in, in case he hasn’t read that part yet. “Seriously, the baby won’t feel a thing.”

His impatience makes Louis smile. “I believe you,” he answers, still scanning over the articles.

“Alright,” he relents as he hands Harry back his phone a minute later. “We can try it.” Harry releases the breath he was holding. Thank God. “ _But,”_ he adds, “You have to promise to say something the moment anything feels wrong. I’m not saying it will, but if it does-”

“We’ll stop right away. I know. I promise. I want that too,” Harry assures him.

If something goes wrong Harry doesn’t want to put their baby at risk either, but he knows everything is going to be just fine. Louis’ worried over nothing.

“So… when exactly are we going to try it? I was hoping for tonight?” Right this second would be a more accurate description but he doesn’t want to seem too eager.

“…Er- Oh.” Louis blinks at him in surprise and then lowers his eyes. “Well, I thought we might wait a bit longer? Maybe until the weekend? Because I mean, sex is good and all, but this ice cream is _out of this world_ so I just figured-”

Harry cuts him off with a tragic groan once he realizes Louis is fucking with him.

“ _Louis_ ,” he whines, his boyfriend’s name turning into pleased moan when Louis cackles, snakes his fingers into the back of his hair, and pulls him into an eager kiss. Harry wishes he could crawl right into his lap. He nearly tries it anyway just from the need to be closer to him but then he remembers that he won’t fit.

“Let’s go to the bed. You’ll be more comfortable there,” he suggests after a minute. It looks as though it took all of Louis’ focus just to pull back and say that from how wide his pupils are blown already. He probably noticed how fidgety Harry was getting just trying to work out a way to kiss him properly on the sofa. There’s no way in hell they could ever have sex on it.

They abandon everything in the living room including what’s left of the ice cream to carefully and _safely_ walk to the bedroom. The journey there is worlds away from the night Harry showed up at Louis’ door in Hawaii and Harry had to fight to breathe from how quickly Louis had him pinned against the wall and gasping for air. Harry still receives passionate kisses as Louis closes the door behind them but he doesn’t get slammed against anything this time. He doesn’t get picked up and tossed onto the bed either. Instead, Louis gently guides him to sit down and then starts getting undressed right in front of him.

Harry doesn’t move to do the same yet, he’s too busy watching Louis’ toned body become more and more naked with each piece of clothing he removes. He and Louis have been together for two months now (nine if you count the seven months that they _wanted_ to be together, but couldn’t due to the both of them being idiots). Harry has seen Louis’ body so many times now that he’s lost count, but that doesn’t make him stripping down to nothing but his tattoos any less mind-numbing.

Louis catches him watching as always and smirks. “You’re staring.”

Harry gives an unapologetic shrug and grins right back at him. “I know. Can’t help it.”

“Me neither,” he says kneeling at the foot of the bed to help Harry out of the scrubs he now wears every day because he can’t fit in anything else. He misses his slacks and all of his old shirts. He even has a bigger white coat now that he can’t wait to get rid of the second he has this baby. He feels ridiculous having to wear huge elastic shit all the time, but Louis has never made him feel that way; just incredibly loved as he kisses a line down each of his thighs and then kisses Harry’s knees just to make him laugh.

Harry pulls his shirt off when Louis blinks up at him in question, not wanting to remove it just yet in case Harry isn’t ready. Harry tosses it across the room without a moment of hesitation unlike before when Harry still felt strange walking around the flat in front of Louis with his stomach uncovered. Louis leans forward to kiss his belly like he always does whenever it’s exposed and then stands up to go right back to kissing him as if it’s not even there, gently nipping at Harry’s lips until they’re pink and tender.

They lie side by side and it’s much easier for them to kiss each other that way. Louis is gorgeous. Harry cracks his eyes open just to sneak glances of his soft golden skin that clearly stays that way regardless of him being at the beach.

He reaches down to gently stroke Louis and give him some release when he notices how hard he is. He sighs into Harry’s touch, making a sound of protest against his lips when Harry pulls away to sit up.

“ _Oh_ ,” he smirks once Harry situates himself between his legs. He says it again, deep and drawn out when Harry starts sucking him off. His fingers tangle in Harry’s short hair for something to hold on to but he doesn’t push. He lets Harry move at his own pace until Harry starts taking him so deep that he starts pulling Louis to the edge without really meaning to do so.

“Haz,” he moans up on the pillows. “Haz, I’m gonna come,” he repeats, the desperation in his voice kind of makes Harry want to keep going just to see him come apart, but then he thinks about the end goal here and what they’re trying to accomplish and he pulls off.

Louis sits up to meet him halfway in a sloppy kiss that makes Harry lips tingle even more than when they were stretched around him. “Lie down,” he whispers, gently sucking at Harry’s neck as he guides him onto the mattress in his place.

Harry takes a deep breath and releases it, nerves stirring at the pit of his stomach now that it’s his turn and this is really happening. He watches Louis leave to retrieve the lube from the bathroom and then come back to sit between his bent legs. 

“Are you fine lying back like this?” he asks. Harry nods, forcing himself to relax as he watches Louis slick up his fingers. He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous. He’s already pregnant so it’s not like they haven’t done this before, but it feels so different this time; heavier somehow even though this is the lightest Harry’s heart has ever been. He guesses that’s just how it feels when you’re in love.

He’s a lot more at ease when Louis starts opening him up. It’s a much different experience than last time when they were both so desperate for Louis to get inside of him that he was already begging for Louis to fuck him even though he was still tight. Louis isn’t taking any chances tonight though. He takes his time even after he’s so hard that he’s straining and leaking against his own stomach again.

“I’m ready,” Harry says, feeling like he’s close to bursting as well with every twist of his fingers.

He can see Louis mentally debating if he truly is prepped enough, pressing his fingers into his body even further just to make sure. It’s sweet, but Harry doesn’t really have time for him being overcautious right now.

“Louis, you’re not going to hurt me. I swear I’m ready.”

“Okay,” he agrees, looking as relieved as Harry feels when he eases his fingers out of him. “Alright then. So, condom?” he smirks.

“That’s not funny,” Harry insists even though he’s laughing. “We didn’t _know_ I could get pregnant.”

“Well, we sure know now, don’t we?” Louis teases as he slicks himself up with lube at the foot of the bed.

They fucked up in Hawaii. They can both admit to that, but Harry doesn’t regret it in the slightest. He knows Louis doesn’t either. Their son may not have been planned, but he’s already the best accident of their lives and he’s not even here yet.

“How do you want to do this, love? You pick.”

Harry smirks to himself because Harry didn’t give Louis any sort of choice before pinning him down and riding him into oblivion the first time. They could try that again, but Harry gets winded just walking up the stairs now. There’s no way he’ll be able to keep that up.

“Mmm…maybe hands and knees?” Harry asks, watching Louis’ fist tighten around himself just from the suggestion and mental image. Louis releases a slow breath once he’s gotten himself in check.

“There is no wrong answer here. Trust me. I’m going to be just fine no matter what position we’re in.”

Harry positions himself in front of him on the bed and glances over his shoulder at him. “Am I good this way?”

“Perfect this way,” Louis breathes, walking forward to line himself up. Harry feels a few kisses along his skin and then Louis’ warm breath dancing over his spine. “Ready?”

“Yeah. I’m ready,” Harry answers, the last word cutting out half-way through when Louis pushes inside of him. He makes a sound at the back of his throat when once Louis’ hips meet his bum and Louis stills behind him. “ _Fuck_.”

“Good fuck or bad fuck?”

“Amazing fuck,” Harry groans, slowly adjusting to the stretch he’s been fantasizing about for months. “You can move. I’m good. I’m great,” he assures him, sighing when Louis pulls his hips back and pushes into him again.

It’s a slow burn that starts where they’re connected, slowly spreading throughout Harry’s body to ignite his veins. Having Louis inside of him again is even better than he remembers. It’s good, but Harry can tell that he’s holding back.

“You can go faster, Lou. You don’t have to be so gentle. You’re not going to hurt me.”

Louis listens and speeds up a little, rocking into him a bit more but his thrusts are still shallow. He’s not anywhere closer to hitting Harry’s spot than he was before. Harry doesn’t want to be a nag and tell Louis what to do like he doesn’t already know, but he also wants the two of them to come sometime this century. “Lou,” he sighs. “Just- Pretend like I’m not pregnant for ten minutes and fuck me normally,” he says, groaning aloud when Louis snaps his hips into him one good time, hitting his spot dead-on.

“Like that?” he chuckles, watching Harry brace himself on his forearms from the aftershocks.

“Yeah, just like that. Do it again,” he begs. Louis leans over him to get a better grip around his hips. He chooses a stronger, deeper rhythm that has Harry moaning into the mattress and pushing back onto him to feel Louis even more.

Louis runs his fingers down the arch in Harry’s back, wet and slick with sweat from keeping himself up in this position.

“You okay?” he pants from behind him.

Harry nods, his nose nearly pressed to the bed as he holds on. “I’m good. My back hurts a bit, but I’m so close.” His back hurts all the time really. It’s something he’s grown used to from standing up for hours at a time at work. He breathes a sigh of relief when Louis gently pulls out of him and asks him to lay on his side.

It’s the same position he got pregnant in nine months ago and it feels just as intimate as it did back then with Louis curled around him and casting his hot breaths right over the nape of Harry’s neck.

“Fuck, Haz, you feel so good.”

Harry shivers against the feeling of his lips against the shell of his ear. Louis tugs at his earlobe with his teeth, making Harry’s body tremble from the force of a well-aimed thrust.

“Are you close?” Louis asks. Harry nods his head feeling the heat at the pit of his stomach sink lower as Louis picks up the pace. “Feel good?” he asks. Harry can feel his wicked grin like an imprint after he bites into his skin. “Come for me then,” Louis tells him when Harry frantically nods, eager to do exactly as Louis said.

The heat in his belly spills over, making Harry’s skin flush hot as he comes all over the sheets. Louis keeps moving inside of him, making sure Harry is completely empty and spent before filling him back up again as he comes just after him.

They both go still trying to pull in new lungfuls of air as their blood filters back through their veins and cools.

Louis pulls out of him and sprawls out on his back to rest his eyes as he comes down.

“Good?” Harry asks, watching Louis’ long eyelashes flutter open again and a lazy grin stretch across his lips.

“Fantastic,” he sighs happily.

“Tired?”

Louis raises an intrigued eyebrow. “Not really. Why, do you want to go again?” he teases. He stops smiling and his eyes go dark when Harry nods in answer.

“Are you up for it? I mean, I know it’s late…”

“Am I _up_ for it?” Louis asks incredulously. “Harry. Love. Is that even a real question?” he smirks.

*

Harry is dead on his feet the next day at work, but he isn’t complaining. Not at all. He’s too busy replaying the night before over and over again in his head to even notice his lack of sleep. There’s a smile on his face just thinking of Louis until it morphs into a big yawn that makes Niall look at him with sympathy.

“He’s still not letting you get much sleep at night, huh? That sucks.”

Harry blinks over at his best friend eyeing him and his belly over his lunch. They are thinking of two completely different people right now. Niall thinks he’s tired because of the baby as per usual. Harry is all too thrilled to inform him otherwise.

“Yeah,” Harry bites at his bottom lip. “Someone kept me up last night, but it’s not who you think.”

“What? Who was-?” Niall frowns at the smirk on his lips, the confused wrinkles on his forehead slowly transforming into a grimace once he realizes whom Harry is referring to.

“So _that’s_ why you said you didn’t want me there. Really?” he mutters bitterly. “I bought a new gift for the baby. I was really excited about that!”

“Eh,” Harry shrugs with a grin. “Sorry. I was kind of busy.”

“Yeah, I can see that; so can satellites in space,” Niall says with his eyes locked on the side of Harry’s neck. He must have a couple of deep bruises there because Niall isn’t the only person Harry has caught gawking at his neck, but he doesn’t care. He actually enjoys the dull sting of his love bites along his skin. They’re his sex battle wounds.

*

Harry and Louis’ loved ones have been stuffing their flat full of things for the baby since the day they found out there’s going to be a new member of their family. Their kid already has more shit than any newborn could ever ask for and they all still insist on throwing the two of them a massive baby shower so they can presumably buy _more_ shit. Not that Harry really minds an excuse to spend more hours locked away with Louis in the baby’s room to decorate it.

The day of the shower is the first time that both of their families are shoved together all at once and to his and Louis’ surprise, they combine seamlessly. Even Dr. Payne fits in after showing up with a whole basket full of baby supplies in his arms and then latching onto Niall and Louis’ best friend, Zayn, as if he’s been friends with them all his life.

Harry doesn’t stop smiling and neither does Louis as they get showered with love and all the well-wishes in the world. They can’t stop; not when everybody around them is so supportive of the little family they are about to become and they all make Harry feel like this is exactly where he was meant to end up. This all seemed like one big mistake nine months ago, but he realizes now that fate has a funny way of getting you to where you’re supposed to be whether you think it’s right or not. He and Louis had to travel quite the bumpy road to get here together, but every second was worth it; their son is going to be worth it.

Harry gets butterflies in his stomach each time he looks around the room because the next time they’ll all be together like this it’ll be to welcome their little man into the world. Harry’s so excited to meet him he doesn’t know what to do. Seeing his face and finally getting to hold him is all he thinks about lately. It’s the longest wait of his life, but that’s okay because he knows that’s going to be worth it soon too.

\---

Soon comes a lot quicker than anyone was really expecting a couple of weeks later and three whole days before his scheduled c-section. He’s right in the middle of his morning rounds when a painfully sharp kick to his lower abdomen causes him to suck in a deep breath and hold his stomach. He laughs it off in front of his patient and her parents, saying the baby is really active today but then he feels it again half an hour later in his office. This kick hurts a lot more than the first, and now that Harry’s paying more attention, it doesn’t feel like a kick at all.

He calls Dr. Payne to tell him what’s going on and gets the response he had been hoping against and yet completely expecting when his doctor tells him to stop what he’s doing and come in immediately because he’s having early contractions. There’s a whole list of people he needs to contact and let know that his c-section just got bumped up to today, but he calls Louis at work first, laughing when he swears to drop everything and come pick him up from the hospital within ten minutes. He makes it there in eight.

Once again, everyone they know converges and piles into the waiting room of Dr. Payne’s delivery wing. He and Louis thank them all and promise to see them all soon, this time with their newborn son.

Harry performs a surgery almost every day of his life so being inside of an operating room is nothing new, but that doesn’t really prepare him for how nervous he feels once he’s there. Dr. Payne and his team don’t waste any time getting started. It’s scary knowing that he’s being cut open at this very moment even though he can’t feel it, but he can feel Louis’ hand in his as they wait to see their son. He can also feel Louis’ lips steadily moving against his temple as he tells Harry how proud and honored he is to be here with him.

Harry’s eyes watch the clock in front of them as Dr. Payne works. Not even fifteen minutes have passed before Louis’ hand is tightening around his and their son’s cries are filling the room.

He’s so much smaller than Harry thought he’d be once he’s cleaned up and handed to them in a little blue hat that looks like it was made for a doll and a blanket that makes him look even tinier because it hides his little newborn feet. Harry can’t believe this is the same little boy who kept him awake at night turning cartwheels inside of his stomach and has made Harry’s heart so full these past nine months just by being a part of him.

“He’s so beautiful,” Harry sniffs when he sees that he has eyes just like Louis’ and a smooth porcelain-like face that Harry never wants to look away from. Louis hasn’t stopped wiping tears off his own cheeks since he cut the umbilical cord a few minutes ago and his eyes are still shining when Harry smiles up at him. They did it.

“Did you two ever decide on what you’re going to call him?” Dr. Payne asks after they’ve each had a turn to properly hold him and be completely obsessed with how remarkable he is.

Harry glances up from his chest where their son is resting to grin at his boyfriend. They’ve been talking about names almost every day for the past month but they finally settled on one last night. Just in time.

“Jackson,” they answer in unison.

They have a beautiful, healthy son named Jackson.

*

Two Years Later

“Dr. Styles,” someone calls from the door of the playroom. “What are you doing in here?”

Harry squeezes his eyes shut and pulls a face at the sound of his sister’s voice fondly berating him for not being in his office like he said he’d be over twenty minutes ago. His patient, Wyatt, snorts a laugh when Gemma impatiently clears her throat behind them and Harry tries to hide behind the bean bag chair.

“That has never worked in the four years you’ve been trying it. I can still see you,” she informs him.

“She’s right, you know? You’re too big to hide in here. My big sister always finds me and I’m really little.”

Harry sighs at his patient, sitting up in full sight of his own big sister. “Yeah, I know. But it’s still fun to try,” he grins.

It’s also fun to see Gemma sternly standing there with her hands on her hips and a round belly the size of Jupiter. She looks beautiful; she’s _glowing_ as Louis would say. Coincidentally, she’s also much scarier now being pregnant than she’s ever been before. After the hormonal stories he’s heard from Niall lately, Harry is honestly afraid to cross her on a bad day. Luckily, at the moment, she seems to be in a terrific mood so Harry thanks his lucky stars.

“Are you leaving already?” Wyatt asks. He looks less sad about Harry going away on holiday than he did a few days ago when Harry had to tell his parents.

“Yeah, I think so,” Harry confirms with a nod. “But that’s okay because Dr. Aiden is going to take such good care of you. He has even agreed to come check out the fish tank with you. You’re going to _love_ him.”

Wyatt doesn’t seem too sure about that, but he does love Harry. Most importantly, he trusts in what Harry is saying so he nods.

“Okay. But when will you come back?” he asks.

Harry will be gone for twelve days. By the time he gets back, Wyatt will no longer be a patient here. That’s a good thing; a _great_ thing, but he doesn’t say it. Wyatt doesn’t need to know that this goodbye is a lot more final than Harry is letting on. He has grown quite fond of Wyatt over the past two weeks, but with any luck this will be the last time they’ll ever see each other. Harry hopes it is.

“I’ll be back really, really soon. But like I said before, you won’t even miss me with your new mate Dr. Aiden around. You two are going to have a blast. I just know it.”

He receives a big six-year-old hug around the neck before he stands up. Gemma looks like she wants to be annoyed with him when he finally saunters over to the door but she’s too busy fighting a grin to be cross today. “You’re lucky these kids adore you. It’s the only reason I haven’t strangled you yet,” she says.

“Promises, promises,” Harry chants as they start down the rainbow corridor and away from the children’s ward. “So, are they here yet?” he asks impatiently, assuming they must be for Gemma to come looking for him like this.

“Yep. They’ve been here about ten minutes. That’s why I tracked you down. Your boy is causing a scene at the nurses’ station.”

Harry bites down on a grin. “Really? Which one?”

“ _Both_ of them,” she mutters.

Harry sees exactly what she means when they turn the corner. His chest immediately fills with love and pride watching half of the nurses on the floor fuss over his son while the other half are busy fussing over his husband who is honestly just as charming and cute.   

He doesn’t know which of his favorite people to kiss first so he grabs the one closest to him who’s sitting on top of the kiosk with a giant chocolate-chip cookie from the cafeteria in one hand, a random smiley face balloon someone must have found in the children’s ward tied to the other, and a whole arsenal of crayons, markers, and sticky notes sprawled out in front of him to doodle all over to his little heart’s content.

This is why Jackson loves coming to visit him at work; he gets spoiled to death simply for existing and being his son.

“Hey there, Little Man. Where in the world did you get all of this cool stuff?” Harry laughs as he pulls his son into a tight hug, pressing kisses all over his dimpled cheeks to make him laugh. “You’re in absolute toddler heaven, mate. Can I have some?” he asks nicely, kissing his son all over again when he selflessly offers Harry a bite of his prized cookie.

Everyone watching praises Jackson for being so generous and then praises his parents for raising such a sweet boy. Harry attributes his good manners to his husband who has been coaching him to say please and thank you since before he could talk.

He turns to Louis who is currently being ambushed with questions all about the late honeymoon that they’re going to be literally late for if they don’t get going soon. Harry interrupts his conversation to kiss him quick on the jaw.

“I’ve just got to take care of a couple of things and then I’ll be ready to go,” he whispers before taking off.

Louis watches him head in the direction of his office and quickly dismisses himself from the horde. Harry glances over his shoulder a few seconds later when he thinks he hears someone at his heels. He laughs when he sees who’s rushing to catch up with him minus their son.

“Where’s our kid?” Harry snorts, noticing that he’s missing from his usual place on Louis’ hip or standing right next to him holding his hand.

“Eh. He’s fine. He’s in toddler heaven, remember?” his husband insists with a fleeting glance at everyone still vying for his attention back at the kiosk.  

As soon as Harry gets his door open Louis moves to follow right behind him, gently pressing Harry up against it once they’re in the room and then locking it again all in one swift motion.

“I knew there was a reason you followed me in here,” Harry teases, letting Louis crowd him as if he’s ten feet tall. He has never minded Louis’ random visits to his office. More often than not they lead to them furiously making out on top of his desk or even an orgasm or two, so he doesn’t complain. It’s just too bad they don’t have time for it today.

“Well, I could’ve kissed you out there, but where’s the fun in that?” he whispers.

Harry’s heart skips a couple of beats when Louis presses his lips to his. It’s just a simple hello but it turns Harry’s legs to mush knowing Louis waited until they were locked away in here to do it properly. It kills him to pull away so soon.

“Sorry, but I just have to send a quick email, and then I swear I’m done for the next twelve days,” he promises, instantly missing Louis’ hands and mouth when they have to break apart.

Besides a couple of harmless sick days in which Harry couldn’t be bothered to leave the comfort of Louis’ arms mostly thanks to Louis egging him on, he hasn’t had a real break in over two years. He ended up taking eight weeks off after having Jackson because their good friend, Liam, or Dr. Payne as they used to call him, was right; Harry couldn’t bear to leave his son after only six weeks.

Those two months off with Jackson were technically a break, however, the last time him or Louis went on a real holiday was back when they first met in Hawaii. They got engaged and married a year later but they were both too busy with work and moving their new little family into a bigger place to go on a honeymoon. It’s never too late to celebrate marrying the love of your life though, so that’s exactly what they’re doing for the next twelve days…as soon as Harry sends this email, that is.

“We’ve got an international flight to catch, you know,” Louis reminds him, flopping down on Harry’s sofa to watch him work and annoy him while he does so. “Jax will be gutted if he doesn’t get to ride on a real-life airplane like we’ve been telling him all week. He’d never forgive us. And by us, I mean you.”

Harry rolls his eyes as he settles down in front of his laptop. “He’d live and so would his father. And we’re not missing our flight because I’m going to be done in five minutes. Less than,” he boasts.

“Uh-huh,” Louis says, clearly unconvinced as he takes out his phone. “I’m watching the clock and you.”

“ _Wow_. No pressure then,” Harry smirks.

He’s done in seven minutes rather than five. That’s how long it took to remind Aiden of all the things he needs to do to pick up the slack while he’s gone and also to remind him that Wyatt is incredibly near and dear to his heart and his parents work a lot, so he better go to that damn playroom and hang out with him every now and then like Harry just promised.

He leaves his computer and his entire work bag right there on his desk and then officially hangs up his white coat for the next week and a half. He lets Louis take him by the hand and lead them back out into the corridor where they receive hugs and well-wishes from everybody while they simultaneously rescue their child from certain sugar overdose from all the new treats he’s acquired from the nurses in under ten minutes. Niall comes down to see them off too, standing next to Gemma who slaps at Harry’s entire arm when he tries for a sneaky goodbye rub to her belly.

They make their seven o’clock flight with plenty of time to spare. The first thing they do is strap Jackson into his little travel chair in the seat between them and ply him with a blanket, a bag of goldfish, and his favorite picture book that his daycare let him steal so that he’s set for smooth flying.

Harry positions Jackson’s travel pillow around his neck to support it when he inevitably crashes and then releases a sigh and rests his own head against the seat after he’s done.

He glances over at his husband, finding him already staring back at him with a fond grin tugging at the corners of his lips. He knows that look anywhere because Louis has been looking at him that way and making Harry feel like the luckiest man on the planet for two years. The love and adoration that emanates from his warm blue eyes seems to never fade; it just gets stronger with each passing day. Harry knows because he feels the exact same way about him.

“What? Jealous I didn’t tuck your pillow around your neck too,” Harry teases.

“Obviously,” Louis scoffs. “I’m also quite offended that I didn’t get anything to keep me happy during this flight. I didn’t even get a picture book.”

Harry leans over Jackson’s head to give his husband a quick kiss instead of a book or a bag of goldfish just to shut him up.

“Better?” Harry laughs. Louis sure smiles at him like he’s feeling better.

“Yeah, I guess that’ll do. For now,” he smirks like some ominous threat for after they land, when really, Harry can’t wait. They’ve been talking about going back to Hawaii since they left it. He’s so glad they’re finally doing it. And with the three of them together this time, this trip is bound to be even more amazing than the last.

*

Harry looks out over the water and breathes warm salty air deep into his lungs like he’s been doing the past three days he’s been in paradise. He forgot how beautiful it is here and how everything feels like one big sigh. Even Jackson who’s usually busy running around chattering up a storm and getting into everything just like his father seems calmer with the warm breeze.

Jackson has never seen the ocean before this trip but all he has wanted to do since experiencing it is spend his days on the beach finding big seashells and covering his and Louis’ legs in the sand like he’s doing to Harry right now. It’s actually kind of perfect because all Harry has wanted to do since arriving is sunbathe so he can have a better tan than Louis whose surfboard may as well be an extra limb at this point from how often he’s been out on it.

The sun is starting to go down when Louis finally comes in dripping wet and looking so good in the tight blue shorts he’s wearing that Harry doesn’t even try to pretend like he’s not staring.

Louis fights a smirk as he gets closer and realizes he has an audience of one. He abandons his board in the sand and then shakes out his hair like some bronze god that Harry still can’t believe is real. Harry decides to admit defeat right then and there in terms of their tanning war because he’s never going to look that good no matter how long he bakes himself in the Hawaiian sun. Louis wins.

“Daddy, come look!” Jackson says when he notices Louis has come back to the shore. He grabs his father’s hand and pulls him over to show off the sand castle that he and Harry built a little while ago. Louis glances over his shoulder at him with amusement dancing in his eyes because it looks less like a castle and more like strategically placed piles of dirt, but it’s all the same to Jackson. Harry just shrugs because he’s a surgeon. He never claimed to be an architect.

Louis spends time helping him fix it and even decorate it with seashells and Harry leans back to watch them, wishing they could stay here forever. He had the same issue two years ago when he met Louis on this very beach and grew way too attached to him way too soon.

“Let’s just not go back,” Harry sighs dreamily when Louis comes to lie down next to him and throws an arm and a leg over him with Jackson still playing in the sand. “I can find a new hospital here and you can teach music at one of the local schools in town. It’ll be perfect,” he smiles.  

“Yeah, right,” Louis chuckles. “You’d move away without getting to meet little Adaline first? Why, Uncle Harry. I’m surprised at you,” he says in mock scandal.

And, no, Harry wouldn’t. Besides Gemma and Niall flying here to personally murder him in his sleep for missing the birth of their daughter, the rest of his and Louis’ combined family would kill them both if they took Jackson away for more than the twelve days they managed to steal him away for their honeymoon. It was nearly impossible to convince them that they actually _wanted_ their son to come along with them. They had a disappointed volunteer babysitters list longer than Harry’s forearm.

“Well, let’s come back then. Maybe for our five-year anniversary?”

Louis chuckles but doesn’t seem opposed to the idea. “Hawaii again? You don’t want to go anywhere else, love?”

“No,” Harry smiles back. He looks around the little cove they found down the beach three days ago and have essentially taken over as their own. This island is everything and it has given Harry everything. He’d spend the rest of his life here if he could.

“Then we’ll come back,” Louis promises with a kiss to Harry’s bare shoulder. “As often as you want.”

*

It’s later that night once they’re back in their suite that Harry’s entire body is flushed, wound tight, and trembling from Louis rocking into him. Jackson is asleep in his own bed on the other side of the bungalow, thank God, but Harry still bites down on the inside of his jaw to make sure he stays that way.

Louis smiles against the shell of his ear when an impeccably accurate thrust makes Harry forget that he’s supposed to be being quiet and he cries out.

“Shh, love. You’re going to wake him up,” he smirks just as he does it again, this time punching a deep moan right out of Harry as he comes between them without much more warning.

Harry’s too tired to do anything besides lie there and take it as Louis rolls his hips into him to finish himself off. Louis licks into his mouth after he comes inside of him, pulling back to kiss down his neck and across the various tattoos Harry has started collecting all over his body. He only had a few small ones on his upper arms when he and Louis first met. Not like the arsenal that Louis had, but Harry is quickly catching up.

Louis slides his lips over Jackson’s name written in black across his arm and then moves down to the set of laurels on his hips that accent the tropical flowers and blossoms he got along his lower stomach to cover up his scar. Louis has always loved that one the most. Even more than the countless matching tattoos they’ve gotten together.

Louis comes back up to kiss him on the mouth once he’s finished marking Harry up all along his faint abs that finally returned after Jackson was born. He still has bruises from the night before just like Louis still has pink scratches down his chest and back from Harry clinging onto him. They just keep adding to the collage every day. He flops down to rest next to Harry with an amused smile playing at his lips. Harry turns over to curl up on his chest as always, letting Louis card through his damp hair and gently tuck it behind his ear now that he’s letting it grow out a bit more.

“What?” Harry chuckles, knowing that whatever his husband is thinking about is bound to make him laugh too.

“Oh, nothing,” he grins even though it’s clearly something. “I was just thinking Hawaii is sort of like our good luck charm. Wouldn’t it be funny if we got pregnant here again?”

Harry nearly chokes, and not even from laughter; from pure shock.

“Uh, how about _no_?” Harry snorts, certain that Louis has lost his mind.

That’s why Harry takes his birth control so religiously. He loves Jackson more than life itself, but he’s not even three yet. Now is not the time for another slip-up and nine more months of Harry being enormous.

Louis takes one look at his face and bursts out laughing. “Aww, come on, Haz. Be a good sport. I think it’d be amazing to have a tiny baby around the house again. I kind of miss when Jackson was so teeny and small.”

“Um, Jackson is _still_ teeny and small. He comes up to our knees. And it’s just our good fortune that Gemma and Niall are going to have a newborn baby in like, three months.” Neither him or Louis has ever played the doting uncle role before. They’ll get to fall in love with baby Adaline without having to do any of the hard work. It’s a win-win as far as Harry’s concerned.

Louis answers him with a deep, dramatic sigh holding Harry closer to him. “Yeah, I know that, but it’s not going to be the same though,” he pouts.

Harry can’t tell if his husband is joking right now or if he seriously wants another child. He’s mentioned it before on several random occasions, but he’s never harped on about it like this. Maybe he’s been getting too much sun.

“Louis, what are you saying? Do you want us to get pregnant again?”

He runs his thumb over Harry’s lips and the smooth cut of his jaw. “Well, yeah, babe. Of course I do.” He smiles like the thought of them having another baby would be a dream come true. Harry thinks about it sometimes and it sounds nice in theory, however, he’s not sure about them _actually_ doing it.

“Right now?”

“No, not now. We’ve still got our hands pretty full with Jax, but one day,” he shrugs. “He needs someone to play with.”

“He’s getting a cousin in three months.” Harry deadpans in case Louis has already forgotten that key detail.

“Yeah, I know. And that’s great, Haz. But… maybe we’ll give him a baby brother or even a baby sister? Maybe in a few years?” he asks nervously holding his breath with hopeful eyes the way he always does when he’s unsure of what Harry will say. Louis looked at him like that the night they met and he invited him out for ice cream on the beach and again every other time he felt like he and Harry might not be on the same page. He was nervous the morning they both woke up with a three-month old Jackson sleeping between them and he asked Harry to marry him. He said yes immediately because in his mind them spending a lifetime together was already implied.

Harry leans up to kiss him deep and slow because although Louis often seems to be a few steps ahead of him, Harry is never too far off from wanting the same exact things.

“I’d like that someday too,” he admits, rolling his eyes when Louis starts cheering. “I said _someday_ ,” Harry cackles. “Not _tomorrow_.” Louis shushes him even though he’s the one being loud at the moment and then kisses Harry as if he said they could start trying right now.

“I know it’s not happening yet, but someday is just as good as any,” he says. “I just love hearing that you’re even open to us having more kids. I know the first time around wasn’t the easiest, especially for you.”

The first time around sucked for over half of his pregnancy because he was alone and scared to death that he had ruined his entire life and his career. Harry didn’t necessarily enjoy being pregnant until he realized exactly what it meant. He got a beautiful little boy out of it and because of him, he became a father and a husband; two amazing roles Harry never thought he’d get to experience. Having more children crosses his mind from time to time as well. He was just never brave enough to voice it and dream as big and as loud as Louis.

“You’re still going to be here when I wake up tomorrow, right?” Harry teases, remembering how disappointed he had been after their first night together when Louis flew back to London without him. “You’re not going to leave me high and dry with a lei for a lay and then disappear on me?”

“Eh,” Louis shrugs. “You’ve proven yourself to be alright so I guess I can manage to stick around this time.”

“Geeze, thanks,” Harry mumbles, smiling when Louis pinches him in the side.

“You know I’d never leave you and Jackson. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”

He makes a compelling argument; one that Harry already knows is the complete truth. Louis loves their family so much that he wants them to make it even bigger. He’s right where he wants to be.

“Well, in that case, I _guess_ I can let you accidentally knock me up again one day,” Harry relents. “But, you know. On purpose,” he clarifies.

“That’s all I’m asking,” he grins.

Louis kisses him and his stomach erupts with little butterflies the way it always did when he carried their first child. Harry loves him and Jackson more than he ever thought possible and yet somehow there’s still room in his heart for another baby whenever the time comes.

“Thank you. I love you. I swear we won’t regret it,” Louis says sincerely, pulling back to really look Harry in the eyes. Harry knows that. In fact, he’s certain of it because falling for Louis was never a mistake; it was just a twisted, weird, and wonderful kind of fate.

 

\---

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks times a zillion to FallingLikeThis(Zayniam)! You are seriously beyond amazing. I'm not worthy <3 <3
> 
>  
> 
> all-these-larrythings.tumblr.com


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